After The Storm

Short Scenario

LUNA's POV : 

"cold night, friendly date, good closure"

Time is running... isn't it?

We are at the usual coffee shop we went to. It's called Tomorrow Cafe.

This cafe has been my favorite place I usually go to because every time I go here, it feels serene. The calm music inside, the people who were busy with their lives, or busy catching up with their friends, or even their loved ones, the food and drinks, and at the same time... the smell of the books on the bookshelves near the counter.

"What if hanapin muna talaga natin ang isa't isa and mag focus kung anong kailangan pag focusan?" he said, in a question way.

I thought for a second.

Sa napakaraming pinagdadaanan namin ngayon na alam naming hindi pa maayos ang sitwasyon, na hindi pa maayos ang isa sa amin dapat pa ba namin ituloy 'to?

"But how can we do it?" I asked after sipping my coffee and slowly putting it on the table.

"Then, let's stop for a while. Kasi sa nangyayari sa 'tin ngayon, parang hindi na rin healthy to, eh." "Hindi na love yung ramdam ko sayo kumbaga lust." He answered which made my lips parted when I hear his last word saying 'lust'

Lust... huh?

After what we did? 'Yon lang ang sasabihin niya na hindi na love ramdam niya sa akin kundi isang kasalanan na parang pinagsisihan niya?

After everything I did for you. Everything I did was to give you the genuine, perfect love that I know you deserve. Because of your past, I know every side of you. I even understand and know every detail within you. I tried to change which part of you and your past experiences you couldn't see to yourself that I was the only one who saw that in you except your family.  Lahat naman binigay ko para hindi mo maramdaman na kulang ka sa pagmamahal at alaga.

Pero bakit naman ganoon? Bakit kung kailan okay na... okay na ako. Saka ka bumalik? Noong bumalik ka, saka naman ako nadurog. Na para bang bumalik nanaman ako sa dating sitwasyon na matagal ko na sanang ibinaon sa lupa at hindi na nagbabakasakali na bumalik pa. But... here I am again. I am back to the situation where I thought I was already fought on.

I looked away merely to think of words to say to him when he was still staring at me waiting for who would talk after what he said.

"Mike... ano bang ginawa ko sayo para ganituhin mo ako? Did I hurt you? Did I even fail at you? Did I make something that could hurt me like that?" I asked, kasabay na rin ang pagtulo ng mga luha ko na kanina ko pa pinipigilan at itinatago sa loob ko.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Pero pakiramdam ko ngayon pa lang bumibigat na naman pakiramdam ko. Bakit ganito? Bakit ang bigat bigat pa rin?

I love him so much. I love him to the point that I am willing to give up or even risk everything for him. But this is how we just end? That all he felt about me was lust? Not even love anymore?

Na para bang ginamit niya lang ako para sa kanyang personal na interest. I knew it was wrong, but it was wrong considering that I almost... tolerated this thing, for him. Because that's how I love him.

Fuck. Bullshit.

Maling mali ba ako na ganito ako magmahal? Was I wrong that I overloved?

Mali ba na nagmahal ako? Mali ba na gusto ko lang maramdaman na magmahal at mahalin ng iba? Was I wrong?

"Luna..."

"T-tell me, Mike. What did I do to you to hurt me like that? Did I fail? Nagkulang ba ako sayo?" I asked directly at him when my tears were still flowing through my eyes because all I ever felt now was pain.