angeline (2)

happy

angeline

when youre a firefighter, youre always being told that youre a hero.

people see you walk into fires or climb tall buildings to keep someone from jumping, or even being in the midst of earthquake after shocks.

but they dont really see how hard it can be.

the scars etched into our skin. the wounds that not even a hospital can fix. the mental capacity that we have to see the things that we do on the daily basis. 

or hell, get shot while at a scene. or be tracked down by an abusive ex because of the stories being made about us.

being a first responder in an evil world is hell. sure, there are so many calls that end well. but there are some like today that do not.

when the four year old girl called 9-1-1 because someone broke into her house and killed her parents, we all were praying she would make it out.

but she didnt. we were too late.

when we walked into that scene, the atmosphere was melancholy. i could feel something was wrong.

the blood leading up to the body was enough for us to realize what happened, but having to see it to make sure that there was nothing we could do.

god, that poor little baby.

needless to say, the station is filled with silence. none of us have it in us to have fun after seeing what we saw.

eddie and i sit on the couch while everyone else is off doing their own thing.

i lean my head on his shoulder and he leans his against mine.

i close my eyes, just relishing in my boyfriend's presence.

we were planning on telling everyone about our baby, but after what we saw, it didnt seem right.

we are all off tomorrow, so maybe we can plan to have a get together and tell them then.

i ask eddie about it, and he agrees, a smile smile on his face. he kisses my head softly and looks around to make sure no one is looking and places his hand on my stomach.

i am 9 weeks along today, and there is a tiny bump that we have noticed.

seeing my body change has allowed it to set in that this is real. i finally have the chance to have my own family.

eddie's thumb runs over my skin softly and i grin. he does the same before kissing me. the kiss is short and sweet, since we are both not really big on the idea of pda at our work place.

i laugh softly and stand, pulling him up with me. i pull him over to everyone and clear my throat.

"since were off tomorrow, we were thinking we can all do a get together at our house." i say, stealing one of evans chips.

"sure! we could even do it at athena and i's. she would love to cook dinner for everyone." bobby suggests. "she was pushing me to invite you all over again anyways."

"oh yeah! we can do that." i agree. "that means we get out of cleaning the mess." i nudge eddie softly and he laughs.

im glad everyone is pulling themselves out of the dark that we witnessed today. seeing everyone laugh and telling bobby what they want for food is astounding.

"i will get karen and denny." hen grins.

bobby pulls me and eddie aside.

"is this about your pregnancy? are you finally going to announce it tomorrow?" his eyes light up.

"yes, we are." eddie says. "we were going to do it today at the end of shift, but with everything that happened, we decided against it. this way it can be more of an intimate hang out, too."

bobby nods and pats his shoulder. "thats understandable. i cannot wait for everyone to know. i almost slip up constantly."

i laugh as he pulls me into a hug. his arms wrap around me in a fatherly embrace. when he pulls back, he hugs eddie tightly.

-

thankfully, the rest of yesterdays shift went smoothly.

now, everyone is sitting in athena and bobby's back yard.

bobby made the best meal and bobby hung out little decorations. there were little get together signs throughout the yard, and it was adorable.

when we all finished eating and cleaned everything up before we sat back down to continue talking.

"so, whats the real reason you wanted to meet up?" hen asks me and eddie with a quirked brow.

i take a deep breath and look at eddie. he grabs my hand and squeezes it, pressing a soft kiss to my head.

"we are having a baby." i say loudly.

everyone stops in their tracks, stuck like a deer in headlights.

there was a chorus of "what"s around before everyone jumped up to hug us in excitement.

christopher giggles as he touched my belly, with the most caution possible. "they're gonna be my best friend."

i grin, happy tears welling up in my eyes. "they sure are, buddy."

eddie comes over and wraps his arm around my waist. he looks at me like i hold the world in my hands.

i never thought i would be in this moment, let alone this content. as christopher crashes into both of us, i have never been more happy.