APPLE OF OUR EYES

19. LET IT GO, ABHI!!

"Bolo Abhi. I need to know. I need to know how you feel about this. I need to know to what extent your guilt has consumed you that you are rooting for more punishment." He asked but his son stayed silent just looking at him lost. 

Karthik cupped his son's face "Tune Badminton chod di...Sab kuch akele Saha. Itne time Tak. All this in the name of punishment. Do you think I can ever punish you worse? Do you think I can ever be that harsh to you? Did I ever be so horrible to you no matter what you have done?" 

There was a vulnerable note to Karthik's tone and it pained Abhimanyu. He simply shook his head in NO.

"Then how did you punish yourself like that? How dare you hurt yourself so much? From when did this become your idea of punishment? Kabhi mujhe ya apne Mumma ko dekha hain tumse koi bhi cheez jo tumhe pasand ho, use door karte hue? That too forever?" Those were not exactly questions. Karthik just wanted his son to re-evaluate his approaches and thinking. He wanted his son to know that he was too hard on himself for no reason when his own parents wouldn't even think of those possibilities. 

Abhimanyu just had to shake his head. He was left with his no choice. Given how his Dad put things, what he did could be only categorized as foolishness for him.

"Phir yeh sab kaise sochliya tumne? Haan?" 

"I don't know." Abhimanyu whispered cluelessly. He really didn't know what got into him. 

"Exactly!!" Karthik pressed. 

"Aisa bahut kuch hain jo tumjhe pata nahi hain. You are just 20 and you will not know everything." Karthik's voice was firm and it reached into his son's brain very clearly.

"But don't worry. Main tumhe sab samjhadunga. I am your father and I will teach you every lesson you might need in your life." Karthik added, gently patting his son's cheek, letting him know that he is still a kid.

Abhimanyu blinked and looked on, confused.

Karthik decided to clear the confusion in his son's eyes "I have something in mind for you. But let me have a word with your mom first. Once she approves, we will discuss." Karthik assured and Abhimanyu nodded "Ok."

Karthik kissed his forehead "Good."

Abhimanyu stayed silent for a moment before he looked back at his father "Dad! Does this mean I am forgiven or...." 

That was his biggest question. His Dad can do anything he wishes to but just forgive him in the end. 

Karthik looked at his son who was looking at him, waiting for some assurances. He didn't want to lie to his son. "I can never forgive you for this Abhi. I can just learn to live with it and it is upto you to make sure we move on from this."

"Aap bolo na Papa. I will do anything." Abhimanyu's reply was quicker than light. 

"Let go of the guilt Abhi. Just LET IT GO!!" Karthik ordered his son. 

Abhimanyu shook his head "Per Dad....woh...I.."

Karthik firmed his voice "Abhi! Now you have confessed to your parents. Let us handle it for you. Let us decide what's the best way to deal with your actions. Humein pata hai kab kyun aur kaise tumhe handle karna hain. Trust us and leave it on us. Don't fret and don't you dare do anything without consulting me or Naira." Karthik felt like adding that warning at the end. He wanted to be sure. He can't trust his son anymore to not do anything to himself in his guilt.

Again, Abhimanyu just had to nod. If his Dad wants him to let go of the guilt for them to move on, Abhimanyu would do it without a word. 

"Khana khaya?" Karthik asked, diverting the topic, as he saw gears shifting in his son's mind.