The HOE Code

Chapter Ten

"Fuck. I can't believe it's already morning!" I groaned as my hand hit the snooze button hard.

Pulling the duvet all the way up to cut the invading sun, I pretended I was still asleep. I had to get some shut eye before the headache kicks in, and the thought of last two days had me beating myself over them. Two days, and I hadn't seen Sherry sleep in the dorm. Sam picked up her things last night. They were all having some weekend sleepover. Surprisingly, I let him slip out, without biting his neck off, or breaking his leg. I had my own set of despair to deal with. Plus, it felt kinda peaceful to have the dorm room all to myself.

I hadn't seen Gus around either, and had no idea if I ever will. I had picked up a packet of mints from the convenience store, more as a souvenir, and less out of the eating disorder, on my way back from Public Library. But they tasted nothing like it. Nothing like how they felt on his tongue, and then it all felt surreal... My existence, that kiss, and the ascending morning. How do people figure out if it's real or not? Is there a way? A strong feeling in the bottom of your stomach that gallops all the way to your throat and makes itself heard, telling you it happened. Did someone whisper in God's ear that the world was quite good, or maybe not, and he kept making everything he could till Adam break his heart? How?

I crept out of the covers and saw the sunlight painting itself on the pink wallpaper. The Rockbandit Tee waving an enormous, black, cloth-y hello to it as the light brightened up the skull on the guitar. Maybe I will take my time to arrange my things, and hopefully get my bag ready for school tomorrow.

Ring. Ring.

I reached for the phone to see the screen flashing with mom's incoming call. I looked at the alarm, and hit the button. Seriously, seven in the morning? Who died?

"Hello-" I spoke into the phone, stifling a yawn.

"Marley! Why didn't you call me?" I could hear clear and loud, and almost picture her sitting on the couch with the China cup, and Irish tea pot as the newspaper laid in front of her. And yet, she'll manage to let go of her morning routine on a Sunday morning.

"I told Jake to tell you I was okay. Did he not tell you already?" I rolled my eyes, walking to the window as I watch the fog subside.

"He did, but that's not how things work, Marley!"

"Mom, you can't expect me to keep on calling you all the damn time! I have things to do. And I am eighteen for God's sake!"

I sat down on Sherry's bed. I don't care explaining why the sheets were crumpled. What good is a bed if not used well, anyway!

"Fine! Just tell me you are taking your meds on time..." She softened up, and I felt the familiar pang of guilt sinking in.

"I- I am. I am fine, mom. I am taking meds on time. All's great." I said, supressing the urge to say 'sorry', and trying to live to the lie. Everything going great was not supposed to happen with me. A truth I had made peace with long years ago. When dad flew back to India, when Mom married Jake, when Bianca died...and now I was stuck in a school, planning my senior year without any real friends, and feeling lost. Nothing was great.

"Take care, honey. I love you." She said, and the line went silent.

Say it. Say it. Just fucking say it.

"I lo-" I tried getting the words out, but the phone beeped and the call was hung. I love you too, mom. Seems like I don't deserve it. Nevermind. When the universe conspires, you don't have a say in 'how', and 'what', all you have is a 'why', and we dumbasses spend half of our lives figuring out the ambiguous 'why's. People have a better way of justifying this stupidity. They name it as their 'calling'. But who are we even kidding? We shut our ears, following everything blindly, and pretend that we hear! If we heard the Universe's call we would give up doing things before we even try... because there's only one constant truth that every little minuscule in this Universe knows - it will come to an unfathomable end. We are happy because we ignore the call. And we call it hope. Going on is afterall a beautiful lie!

A tear slid down my cheek.
"I can't cry on a Sunday morning!" I groaned, walking to grab the bag of toiletries before I hit the community shower.

~

"Leave it all up to mom to make me cry!" I mumbled, hanging the pajamas as I reached for the brush.

One look at the mirror, and I realized how horrible I looked. Muffled hair, bags under eye, and the classic case of new pimples, new week. Why would anyone kiss a girl like me, and not run away? Sucking attitude, mouthy words, and an average face (stupid curls included)

I brushed my teeth furiously with the thoughts. Maybe no one wakes early on a Sunday. Explains the emptiness, when I turned the faucet on.

"Atleast I have Rockbandits to myself!" I said, spitting in the faucet before I flossed and hit the shower.

I reached for my bag, to get the towel when the door turned open.

A sweaty Gus stood, with his towering body clocking in front of me. He wore a barely there vest that gave away his physique. And his gym shorts weren't helping the scene. Am I stil not awake? I slapped my cheeks, to see the image unshifted.

"What are you doing here?" I scowled, remembering how rudely he had left that day.

"Doing exactly what people do here!" He challenged, turning on the faucet as he splashed the cold water on his red cheeks. From what I assumed, he had ran all the way here. His shoes were covered in mud, and the way his nostrils flared gave away his uneasy breath.

"Never mind. Forget I said that!" I frowned, turning away, grabbing the towel so I could shower in peace after he leaves. He leaned down to remove his shoes, and I contemplated all the reasons he had for showing up here of all the places. Maybe he woke up on the wrong side of the bed!

Unexpectedly, he removed his vest, exposing his sweat slicked front as his hands fumbled with the shorts.

"Whoa whoa whoa. Stop undressing! What the hell are you doing?" I yelled, and he narrowed his eyes at me.

"Bathing!" He snapped, and I couldn't help but ogle at him.

"Excuse me! I mean you can't-"I said, when he walked closer.

"I can. And I will!" He shrugged.

"Wait. I mean. I have to bath first!" I said, hoping he takes a clue and leaves me alone.

"Oh. Sure. Go ahead." He said, and I sighed. He walked to the door...and bolted it shut.

"What are you doing?" I asked, and he smirked.

"I don't like people walking on me while I bath."

"But you said you will let me shower!" I retorted, and he seemed amused.

"Who's stopping you?"

"Why are you still here?" This guy is a test of my impatience!

"Don't you know it's a community shower?" He shot me a wide grin.

"Don't tell me that-"

"You will bath with me?" He interrupted.

This can't be happening!