ERASING THE PAIN

THE CROSSROADS

I don't know how long I've been sitting here. The coffee on the table has gone cold, but I'm not ready to move just yet. There's something about being in this café, the same one Andrew and I used to visit back in college, that feels both comforting and suffocating. It's strange how the past clings to places, almost like a ghost.

I swirl the remnants of my coffee, staring at the dark liquid like it holds the answers to the chaos in my head. Every corner of this place whispers his name—Andrew. For years, I buried the memories deep, trying to pretend that ghosting him was the right thing to do. But now... I can't avoid it. Not anymore.

My phone buzzes beside me, startling me out of my thoughts. It's him. Andrew. I haven't heard from him since the last session, and I'm not sure I want to. Not yet.

Callie, can we meet? We need to talk.

I stare at the message, my heart hammering in my chest. We both knew this conversation was coming, but I wasn't ready. How can I explain everything? The guilt over Daniel. The shame of running away from Andrew. The years I spent locked in my own pain, pretending like I didn't care.

I tap out a quick response before I can second-guess myself. Okay. When and where?

I didn't think he'd suggest here. The café where it all began. My palms feel slick against the handle of my cup as I sit by the window, waiting. I try to distract myself by watching people walk by, but every face reminds me of him.

I should've stayed away. I should've protected myself, but instead, here I am, back where I started—caught between the present and the past. And then, he walks in. Andrew.

He looks just like I remember—well, almost. His hair is a little longer, his face a little more serious, but those eyes... they're the same. He scans the room, spots me, and heads over, the weight of unspoken words hanging between us.

"Hey," he says quietly, sitting down across from me. He doesn't waste time with pleasantries. "Thanks for meeting me."

I nod, unable to form words just yet. My throat feels tight.

"I've been thinking a lot about... everything," Andrew begins, his eyes locking onto mine, searching for something. Forgiveness? Answers? I'm not sure. "I just—I need to understand, Callie. Why? Why did you leave without a word? I was ready to spend my life with you, and you just... disappeared."

The words hit me like a punch. I knew this was coming, but nothing could've prepared me for the look of hurt in his eyes. My heart clenches, and the guilt I've been carrying for years surges forward. I swallow hard.

"I—I didn't know how to explain it," I begin, my voice shaky. "After Daniel... everything fell apart. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. And I knew... I knew I couldn't be what you needed, Andrew. I was drowning in my own grief. And the thought of pulling you down with me... I couldn't do it."

Andrew leans back, his face a mix of confusion and frustration. "But why didn't you tell me? I would've been there for you. You didn't have to go through it alone."

Tears prick at the corners of my eyes, but I blink them back. "I didn't know how. I thought I was protecting you. I thought by leaving, I was doing the right thing, but... I was wrong. I know that now."

Silence stretches between us, thick and uncomfortable. Andrew rubs a hand over his face, like he's trying to make sense of everything I've said.

"I spent years wondering what I did wrong," he finally says, his voice soft but filled with hurt. "I couldn't understand why you left, and I never got closure. Do you have any idea how that feels?"

I bite my lip, shame washing over me. "I'm so sorry, Andrew. I was a coward. I was scared, and I didn't know how to face you, or anyone. I should've stayed. I should've trusted you."

His eyes search mine again, and for a moment, I think I see something soften in his expression. But then, just as quickly, it's gone.

"We can't change the past, Callie," he says. "But I need to know... are you going to run again?"

The question hangs in the air like a challenge, daring me to face the truth. I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself.

"No," I say, the word coming out stronger than I expected. "I'm not running anymore."

He nods slowly, like he's weighing my words. For a brief second, the tension between us eases. But it's only a second.

"I'm not the same person you left behind," Andrew says. "I've been through my own stuff. I'm not just going to jump back into things, Callie."

"I don't expect you to," I reply, my voice quiet but firm. "But I want to try. I want to make things right, even if it takes time."

Another pause. This time, the silence feels less heavy, like maybe we're both starting to breathe again.

"We'll see," he finally says, standing up. "I need time to think."

I nod, understanding. I need time too.

As he walks away, I realize that this isn't the ending I hoped for—but maybe it's the beginning of something new. Something real. I won't run this time. No matter what happens, I'll face it.

For the first time in years, I feel like I'm ready.