Blue Light

9 1 9
                                        

ALICE POV:

Ever since we were sucked into this other world, not a single thing as went as planned.

I was forced to watch my friends become better.

Stronger.

More confident as I only got worse, worse than back at home.

I thought this world would be a chance for new opportunities, how could I possibly level down?

Am I really that weak?

I'v learned to accept it. I mean, accepting I'm pointless isn't the hardest, when it's so obvious. What's hard is seeing others be better while I sit there like a burden.

It's frustrating, but also painful. A type of pain you can physically feel. A type that won't go away even after a long, deep breath. Like a rock in your chest weighing you down. It's hurts, it's unbearable.

I hate it.

I hate being in last place, it's exhausting seeing others learn so quickly, it makes me feel miserable.

I hate it.

It makes me want to kill myself.

Even if someone were to offer help, I'd only push them away no matter how warm their hands are, no matter how much I enjoy their comfort. I can't show my weakness for my presence is enough.

I only make it worse.

I don't want to heal.

I want to get into the worse state possible so everyone would see just how badly I suffer every single day.

Then kill myself.

Just to prove I can bleed.

I'm selfish, I know. Just for once, I want to be seen despite hiding all the time.

I want them to suffer.

I'm confusing. I want multiple things that don't match. I want love yet I push it away, to be seen yet I hide in their shadows. I would do anything to be confident, to step out of my comfort zone.

Is that why i'm so weak?

I had to leave them, I would only be a burden. I can't even unlock my ability on command. Even when I did, it was fucking mist.

I'm tired.

I'm weak.

I'm nothing.

Im sorry.

I'm sorry for what i'm going to become.

—————————————————————————

Hours had passed, the sun was set and the sky was dark. The stars sparkled down, the moon shining as bright as ever. Everyone was in a frantic to find Alice though she left not a trace.

The queen sent guards to search, each party came back empty handed. Missing posters were up in less than five hours. The search lasted all night.

Elara and Zack couldn't sleep that night, Elara was out searching while Zack went back to the hotel for some rest but even then his mind was racing.

Elara just couldn't give up. Everything she caught onto led to nothing.

After an entire 48 hours, the search was dropped. It wasn't fair, though nobody was getting a single lead. Like she vanished in thin air. Everyone sent their condolences to Elara and Zack.

But truly, nobody cared. What has she even done for them?

"If we want to find her, we have to do it ourselves." Elara grumbled, her hands clenching tightly into fist as a soft aura of golden mist fluttered from her hands.

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