Spotlight

28

The weekend had seemed to pass in a blur, or maybe I just remember it that way. My pace had improved but not enough to earn me a place on the podium, and man was I beating myself up about it. I just did not understand what I was doing wrong. Why was I never good enough? Not good enough to be something and not good enough to be someone- literally, known mostly for the people around me and not myself. Daughter of the great Adam Volvo, goddaughter of Kimi Raikkonen, teammate of Max Verstappen.

The force of the tifosi had of course been a show in itself and the air had seemed to have some special potential in it. However it was hard to enjoy the festivities when I was so broadly disliked. The tifosi showed great menace to anything RedBull and the reporters seemed to share their distaste. Of course the Italians would dislike the Ferrari rival but none the less it sucked to be so hated.

With that said, it truly was a high to see Charles so happy. The Ferrari boys had managed a 1-2 with Mr.monégasque ending up on top of the first place podium, not bothering to hide the tears of joy as the fans cheered him on.

I was sitting in my jet, trying to catch some shut-eye before landing. The flight was laughably short, Italy to Monaco, and could if not for the security risk have been traveled by train. Yet my father insisted that our family was not the train riding kind and therefore it was decided that I would take my plane instead.

I longed to finally get home. Home too my apartment and home to a place that felt like mine. I hadn't been back since before Azerbaijan Grand Prix, aka almost a month.

It would do me well to finally get to sleep in my own bed. They had upped the dosage of my medicine in preparation for the race and I had felt like a zombie for the most part of it. Finally getting to go off it for a while would do me well.

I felt fairly empty. I had improved but not enough. Worked to the point of being ordered out of the garage. Dieted to the point of malnourishment and medicated to the brink of overdosing. In hindsight I don't even know how I survived those weeks, or who thought it was a good idea to dose me with a high enough dosage of conserta to kill a baby elephant. Neither do I understand my desperate need to se the number on the scale move down, the only result of my withering away was that the mechanics had to add more weights to the car to make it legal.

I still hadn't spoken to Max since our fight, I saw no point in it since he has yet to apologize, though I did suspect that he was the one whom had left the gift card for my favorite açaí place in my drivers room. I had originally assumed that Vanessa or someone else had dropped it but Daniel's not so subtle hints swiftly got me on the right track, I still found the Dutchman to be a complete a-hole.

The plane was silent since it was just me, the pilot and one stewardess onboard. Usually there would've been more people but since I had opted for the small plane there wasn't a need for more personnel and I had declined Lando and Charles's request to ride with me. I wanted some hard to come by alone time.

So there I was, laying on the make shift bed, looking out the window with sad music blasting on my headphones and letting my adhd mind bounce from one thought to another at whatever speed it liked.

I felt so good to finally be alone and have some peace. Wait no it wasn't quiet I was literally giving myself bad hearing by blasting my music so loudly. I was being such and asshole for flying on my own, the planet is melting and there I was jetting around it like a spoiled brats. Oh fuck I had forgotten to call my father and had yet to open the voicemail he left me. Fucking fourth place- what a disappointment. Charles looked really hot on the podium I could lick him, wait no, wait yes. Oh lord the picture one of the paparazzi posted of me was really unflattering and being spread like a meme fucking hell there would be no getting rid of that.

The flight was ending sooner than I would have liked and before I knew it I was stepping through the door of my apartment, home sweet-

"Took you long enough"

The absolute shrill scream of fright that left me made my ears ring as I flung whatever was in my hand- my keys, at the intruder and profusely clamped my eyes shut.

"Dude what the hell" Wait I recognized that voice, I carefully opened one eye to sneak a peek at the intruder.

"Lando what the fuck? I told you not to break into my apartment anymore! I though I was getting fucking robbed you bitch"

I poached a han don my chest and tried to catch my breath. He on the other hand stood frowning ten meters away looking very accusatory. He was wearing sweats that looked very familiar and I paused.

"And are you wearing my fucking clothes?"

He shot me a sheepish smile. "Well you sorta took longer than I thought you would have so I made myself at home, figured you'd have liked me to"

"Well no I fucking wouldn't because I told you to stop breaking and entering" I started to storm past him and further into my pristine appartement until I reached the kitchen.

"Oh you love when I visit" he whined and followed me. The counter was a mess of different types of snacks and beverages.

"Breaking and entering Lando, breaking and entering. And how long have you been here if you already managed to mess my place up?"

I opened my fridge and snagged a green juice that I proceeded to chug, tasty. I had had my cleaning lady and chef swing by prior to my homecoming so that I could focus on relaxing once I got back.

Lando plopped himself up on the kitchen island across from me and took a swig from an opened juice bottle he'd apparently started on before I got home. "Two hours or so, I was bored and your appartement has better light that mine, it's not my fault that you were slow to haul your ass out of the paddock and onto the plane" I had indeed been the last driver to leave the paddock due to the added media training the media team had seen as a fit punishment for misbehaving.

"You make me want to absolutely rip my hair out" I groaned.

I loved him sure but I was really looking forward to some alone time in my own apartment. I once again started past him unroll I could not so graciously fall down onto my couch. Having Lando around was like having a four year old on crack, hard to calm down and prone to breaking stuff.

"Really I should be the annoyed one, first you don't let me fly with you and then you try to kill me with your keys" he sat down on my outstretched legs as he ranted.

"And also I had to listen to Charles debating wether or not he had done something to piss you off since he wasn't allowed to fly with you either"

"Whatever shut up" I groaned and placed both hands over my face though I couldn't stop the small smile from forming, Charles had been talking about me? If not for Lando sitting in them I would have been kicking my feet and giggling

***
Author's note:
So hey you what d'ya think? It's short and kinda shit but I've been trying to start writing again? Hope you enjoyed it, your support means the world <3