Taylor Eras Stories

Rise, Relapse, Repeat - 1989/Midnights (OLD!)

CW: Description of Drinking/Drunk

!Canon!

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Eyes fluttering awake 1989 finds herself alone in bed tonight. Rubbing her eyelids she uncovers herself, mumbling. "Midnights?" Her girlfriend was nowhere to be seen, even when searching the entire room. Leaning off the bed and stretching her arms, 1989 pushed herself up and went to the door. Midnights' room was getting better. 1989 found herself being able to walk without dodging hordes of clothes or empty flasks Making her way downstairs she decided to go into the kitchen. Maybe a drink of water will help clear her mind, then she'll be able to call Midnights. However, all of her thoughts stopped when an all too familiar sight was right in front of her.

Midnights was face-flat on the ceramic floor, a half-drunk bottle of peach vodka grasping in her hand. 1989 didn't do anything at first, just stared at the woman unable to speak. Her gaze softened, bending down to Midnights level, beginning to rub her girlfriend's back. She hummed quietly, her fingers heading to the face, lifting Midnights chin, "Hey honey?" There was no answer at first but eventually the drunken woman grumbled.

"Go away." The demand didn't seem to be listened to as 1989 sat herself down right next to Midnights. She moved her hand to the back of Midnights head and gently messaged it. For a few minutes they stayed like that, 1989 trying to comfort her girlfriend while she laid on the kitchen floor. But it was stopped when Midnights arms were pulled up and her body was leaning against the cabinets, still sitting down having the worst fucking headache. She moaned and began to take the glass to her lips again, chugging down the alcoholic drink like it was nothing.

"No," 1989 begins to try to take it away. "stop." Right before she was able to grab it her hand was slapped away. Turning her body, Midnights sucked on the tip of the lid, water forming in her eyes. Taking another sip she doesn't look at 1989 and instead stares at the wood, looking as if she was dead. "When did you start drinking again?"

"Tonight."

"Look, honey, I know what you're going through. You don't have to be alone in this, I'm here to listen." 1989 tried to keep her voice calm but also loving. "I want you to be safe. I love and care for you." Moving closer she cups Midnights' cheeks and kisses her forehead. "I always will." There was no response. 1989 lays her head on top of Midnights' and begins rubbing her back again. She tries to pull her up again, but this time to get her on her feet. "Come on, let's go back to bed." She was suddenly shoved off.

"NO!" 1989 stood in shock as Midnights forced her off. Clenching her fists she screams.

"Fine! Be like this!" a knot began to form in 1989's throat. " Drink yourself to death for all I care! Go out there and get high and wasted and fuck twenty girls in an hour! See if I give a shit!" She starts to cry. "But I know who you really are! I know how much you hate yourself every single fucking day! I know how much it hurts to be you! How much you wreck yourself hoping one day, maybe just maybe, you'll end up killing yourself!" her breaths were unorganized and short. "So just cut the goddamn act!"

"It's not an act!" Midnights began to sob between her screams. "It's who I am!" She grabbed her head, digging her nails into the corners of her scalp. She smiled in a horrified involuntary way. "Maybe one day I can forget how much I hate myself! I can forget what everyone thinks of me! I mean who am I without all this bullshit?" Heaving in her tears Midnights clawed at her skin, desperate to draw blood. "There is no me without this! So just do yourself a favor and leave!" She threw the bottle at 1989's feet and sobbed harder. Her girlfriend gave her a mournful look.

"I really thought you were getting better. I thought-" She choked on her words, swallowing them down. "I just thought maybe we could get through this. Together." Biting her lip, tears rushed down 1989's face. "I thought maybe for a minute you would change." She sighed. "But I guess you aren't one of these people are you?" Midnights taps the glass in hand, lips trembling, eyes squinting. "I mean once you're done with the eight bottles in the cabinets you'll just come upstairs!" 1989 began to laugh hysterically. "You'll wake me up and we'll have the greatest sex ever just to forget how fucked up we are! How fucked up you are! Hell, you know what why not fuck me five times tonight won't that be fun! And we can forget about all this. Just like you said." Her voice was completely calm.

"Just to do it all again tomorrow."