Taylor Eras Stories

Debate, Defuse, Done - Red (Angst)

CW: S*cidal Thoughts/Intentions, Self-Harm, Parental Abuse Mention

!Canon!

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Nothing particular happened that day, everything went normally. 

Red had a good time at work; coworkers making her laugh, residents praising her for what a good nurse she was, breaktime accompanied by a nice meal. 

When getting home she took a shower, Evermore picking out a nice lounge outfit while doing so. Evening hit and 1989, Midnights and her went to their weekly mini golf; she had a good time even with their constant flirting, almost making a hole in one. Today was a good day.

So why did she stare at that pill bottle?

It was a rather large one, the white plastic covered by blue design, 'PAINKILLERS' in bold letters. She always had them in her room, not as a means of what she thought for tonight but in general cases when her head hurt; or more likely her jaw from that damn TMJ. She actually just found out about it not too long ago, something her dad's (ex) girlfriend told her; didn't even realize it was a thing until then, thought pain and popping in her mouth was just...normal. But now, even with none of that she just stared at it; lining the circle cap with her nails.

She didn't need to do this, she knew it. She never actually opened the bottle, just thought about it.

Red wasn't one to shy away from the word suicide, she regularly used it when thinking in her head or even talking to others. She always had it on her mind, even subconsciously. But tonight was just...different. It felt too real to her tonight, it didn't feel like a simple word. She didn't though, Red figured to use logic on her side at the moment. So, she picked up her phone to those previous messages.

Red: I think I just want to be alone for the rest of the night, sorry.

Evermore: Let me know if you need anything.

Red: Yeah, sorry.

Evermore: Don't apologize.

Red: Okay, sorry.

Evermore: I love you.

Read: Today, 11:21pm

Red: I love you too. Sorry I do.

Delivered: Now, 3:57am

Red stared at it for a few seconds, shutting it off when she realized Evermore was probably asleep; it was late, even for her weird tendencies to stay awake at night. 

Sighing, she did something she hadn't done in ages, only once when she sobbed in the parking lot of her mother's apartment building; begging for the line to pick up after she was beaten black and blue. Well, not really. Her mother always hit her just hard enough for no scars or marks to be there the next day; it was like she just knew. It was a bit funny when Red stood there for an hour for someone, laughing at the idea of this so-called '24/7 service' not giving two shits about her. The humor almost made her not do anything irrational. Almost. But, those didn't show up today; nor did it the next day after she did it. 

It was a while ago anyways.

She called the hotline.

And it rang.

And rang.

And rang.

"Please stand by while we get someone, you are loved and cared for. Do not leave the call."