Teen Cravings 》》fluff

I'm not good enough

WARNING ⚠️⚠️⚠️

This chapter has graphic details of self harm, if you don't like blood, or anything to do like that, I suggest to skip this chapter

Eunhye's POV

besides from being a player and jerk in school, Dio's pretty smart. Good at History aswell. No clue what Amy, Sammy and Zai are doing, but they clearly aren't helping us. Dio is sitting at my desk, researching and writing. his hood of his sweater fell off his head ages ago, revealing his tanned skin and curly brown hair. his face was scrunched up in concentration. I was sitting on the arm of the chair he was sitting on, looking through some articles on my phone for good landmarks of the wars.

BANG

I whip my head around, and so does Dio. Zai is standing next to the thing that fell, a glass orb from my homeland, Japan, Kyoto. My mother gave that to me. I stand up and storm over to Zai. Why the fuck is he smiling? 

"what the fuck. I said don't touch anything."

"sorry" He tilts his head and smiles sweetly at me

"asshole" I grit my teeth and pick it up, making sure nothing cracked. its a glass piece of art, inside a blossom tree. My mothers favourite flower. now a crack runs up from the base to the middle.

 Please don't shatter, my heart has already done that, I don't need it to shatter again when I've only just gathered up all its pieces..

I try to hold back my tears, as they threaten to spill out. I turn my face and put my hood back up.

Amy and Sammy are on my bed, looking up from their phones at me. Dio is looking at me with concern. God, I hate attention.

"I think you guys should go home" my voice breaks slightly, my words barely audible. 

I hope they didn't notice.

Dio speaks. something very rare for him to do when he isn't speaking with Zai

"Eunhye is right. its late guys, we should get going." At least someone got the signal. Thank you Dio.

Don't cry, don't break down.. not infront of them... no, Eunhye, hold it back, Control yourself..

"you can let yourselves out"

"I'm sorry, Eunhye, I didn't mean to-"

I snap back round, my sadness turning into anger  "I never said you could touch my stuff, you weren't even helping! me and Dio have been doing everything, while you've been looking through my things, without permission!" I sigh in frustration, not bothering to hold back my anger 

"just leave. I will see you guys on Monday."

no one speaks, clearly seeing I'm frustrated and angry. they leave. it is around 1am.

why am I like this?

as soon as they have left, I break down. slowly, my sadness turns to frustration again. thoughts run through my head, and I can't stop them

I'm no better than my father

this is why my mother died

I'm the problem

I'm the reason my mother died

I shouldn't be here

I want to go home

I shouldn't be in this world

I hate myself

I walk into my bathroom, angry tears falling, streaming down my face.

Eve will be asleep by now

I take a shaky breath, and take my pocket knife from the bathroom cabinet. I walk over to the sink, and look at myself

I'm worthless

blood slowly streaks down from my arm, turning the running water in the sink pink.

it stings badly, but I continue. I slide the blade across my skin, taking in the pain

I deserve this

there's a knock at the front door.I jolt and drop the knife in the sink. my eyes widen as I look down at my forearms, streaked in blood

shit. what have I done? what do I do?

I thrust my arms under the lukewarm water, and take in a sharp breath due to the pain. it stings badly, but I wash off as much blood as I can, and take out the bandages under the sink. I hastily wrap them tightly around both my arms, and put my sweater on to hide them again. the pain would be unbearable, but I can handle it.

I rush downstairs and open the door.

"Z-zai? what are you doing here?"

Zai's POV

"I uh, wanted to say sorry."

Eunhye shuffles slightly, adjusting her arms behind her back. She doesn't respond to me.

"Look, I don't know what that thing was, but judging from the way you reacted, its special to you. I'm sorry."

She gives me a bitter smile
"Tell that to my dead mother."

She tries to slam the door on my, but I hold it open

"I'm trying to apologise, and you're trying to shut the door on me?"

"I don't Need your apology" she snarls

I grab her wrist, and see recoils with a sharp gasp.

My eyes narrow. Was that a suprised gasp or an in pain gasp?

"Eunhye..."

She puts her arms behind her back again. I hope what I think she has done is wrong.

My tone becomes serious, and I put on a straight face. Something very hard for me to do.

"Eunhye, let me see your arm."

"I-"

"It wasn't a question."

I force the door open and step inside. She's quite strong for a girl, but im stronger. I close the door behind me.

"I'm not asking again. Show me. now."

"I'm fine."

"You're hiding something"

"No I'm not"

"Then show me your arm."

".."

She decides to back up. Really?
I walk up towards her, and press her against the wall, getting dangerously close.

I said" I whisper into her ear "show me your arm.

"O-okay.. just go to my room"

I smirk. That way always gets me what I want.

I follow closely behind her until we enter her room. She locks the door behind us. My eyes narrow.

"She sits down on the bed, carefully placing her hands in her lap.

"I didn't know- I didn't mean to-.."
Her voice breaks.

My face softens as I realise she's on the verge of tears.

"Hey, hey calm down, it's alright"

I say in a soft voice

I sit down on the bed next to her.

"You're safe now"

Silent tears slowly drop down her face onto her sweater, making it slightly wet. Slowly and softly, I take one of her arms and put it into my lap.

"Oh Eunhye..."