My Soldier - You're My Home

Too Much

A/N ~~ The troubles continue... Will they ever learn? 

  Thank you for all the comments talking about a possible Book 4 to this series. I am more than happy to write one, since it already pretty much planned out. I have A LOT more to put these characters through with a Book 4 so I'm excited to commit to it. 

  It was nice to have so many of you reply, reading all of your comments really do make the hours of writing worth it. So, thank you! 

  Now, back to the Story, and as always, leave me something to read in the comments if you feel like it - just trust the process with the Story and stick with me through the rough parts. It will all be worth it <3

~~Wednesday Morning, London~~

Normal POV

Waking up this morning, my body is really weak. The past couple of weeks are weighing down on me, like an anchor that I can't shake off no matter how much I try. My emotions are all over the place, more than they ever have been. The overwhelming guilt when it comes to Lizzie, the grief I am feeling over losing my career, my body and mind feel like they are being dragged in so many directions I don't know what to battle with first. Last night, trying to talk with Tom about what is going on just made everything worse. I couldn't make sense of my own mind, so trying to explain everything to Tom was a struggle. I know he wanted to help as much as he could, but I know he doesn't understand as much as he wants too. Eventually, I gave up and Tom quickly decided we were gaming for the rest of the night with beers and burgers. Not that I ate much, but I did have a few drinks. I know deep down drinking is not the way to go when I am feeling this way but feeling safe knowing I am not alone here with Tom, I let my body relax under the alcoholic influence. And as a bonus, I slept better too.

Forcing myself out of bed, dragging my body towards the bathroom with the lack of energy I am feeling, knowing I need to get ready for the day I have. After doing what I need to do, whilst brushing my teeth, I realise I am up earlier than I have to be so in my head I know I have time to fit in a quick run before I need to get ready. So, once I am feeling a little more awake, splashing my water with ice cold water, I get ready into some joggers and a hoodie once I struggle lazily with my prosthetic. Lacing up my trainers, I already know this is going to be a struggle, but I power through and head downstairs to grab a bottle of water and an apple, noticing that there is no sign of life from Tom. So, I quietly head outside and start a slow job to warm up my body before taking off on a shorter route. My music is pounding in my ears with every step I take, forcing out the negative thoughts that are already swarming my mind this early in the morning. My chest begins to burn, and I know I am pushing myself too much, but right now, I need a distraction.

Getting back to Tom's, my body is on fire, but my mind is clearer than it has been recently. I make sure to stretch out my aching muscles before going inside and finding Tom now in the kitchen looking a little rough. Did we really drink that much last night? "Holland, you alright?" I joke, catching his narrow gaze snapping in my direction making me chuckle at his current state. I swear he is more American when it comes to his liver. "No, no I am not. How can you drink Whiskey like it is water?" He huffs, making me just laugh and shake my head as I meet him in the kitchen. "We didn't drink THAT much." I add, making him roll his eyes as he starts brewing some coffee. "We drank half a bottle." He deadpans, pointing towards the half empty bottle across the room on the table. Fuck, maybe we did drink a lot. I can't help but laugh at how sluggish his body is moving around the kitchen as he makes himself some breakfast to try and soak up the rest of the alcohol obviously still in his system, earning a middle finger in my direction as I grab myself a banana before going upstairs for a quick shower.

As soon as I am alone in the shower, my mind begins to overthink everything all over again. The run only giving me an hour of peace before I start to fall into another spiral. Making my shower a quick one, I get out and get dressed for the day, opting for some blue jeans, a hoodie and my leather jacket to keep warm since it is pretty cold in London right now. I then make sure I have everything I need, slipping into some trainers and stopping by Tom's room on my way downstairs to steal one of his beanies since my hair is way too long to style before joining Tom again downstairs where there is a fresh coffee and a bacon and egg sandwich waiting for me. What a legend. "Thanks Holland." I say carefully, waiting for the eye roll but I just get a small smile as we sit in the kitchen together. We sit in a comfortable silence, eating our sandwiches and drinking our coffee before I clean up our plates since Tom cooked, only now when I am standing washing up does he realise I have something of his. "Nice hat." He teases, making me chuckle hearing him a little more awake now after his food and coffee. "I know, I might actually keep this one." I reply cheekily, making him laugh before we go and get ready to leave for the day.

Driving into London this morning isn't as nerve-wrecking as yesterday, but there are still so many emotions swirling around at what today has to bring. And just to add to the weird mood hanging over my head today, it's raining now, and the sky is a horrible dark grey over London. Great. Tom takes is easy through the traffic, the huge rain drops hammering against the windshield of his car as the brake lights up ahead blur into one huge red beam, before we make into the car park where I am getting dropped off at today. Tom turns off the engine and turn in my direction with a concerned look flashing across his face. "I know we spoke for a bit last night, Harley, but I'm still worried about you. It's obvious you are struggling mentally, and yesterday was a lot to process. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am here for you, no matter what. Day or night." Tom speaks firmly but with a gentle tone. There is no judgement or forcefulness behind it. "I think it would be really good for you to speak to your therapist again, just until you have had the time to process everything and maybe to help figure out where you go from here. Because I think you still have so much good to do within the Army, even if you are not serving with 7 Section anymore." Tom adds and I am a little taken back at his words, Tom has never been the serious type, but right now he is being very serious, so I know he means every word.

"I am struggling Tom, that's no secret. I just, don't know where to go. I'm completely lost, and I'm scared-" My words get caught at the back of my throat, emotions bubbling all over again. "I know, Harley. But you are the strongest person I know. You can overcome anything when you put your mind to it. And you have so many people who love and care about you to help you through this part before you find your way again." Tom speaks with so much emotion that I get choked up seeing him shed a few tears before he pulls me into his arms. We share this moment, hidden by the rain surrounding the car. He's always been my best friend for so many reasons, but this is one means more than the rest. He is always there when I need him, no matter where we are in the World, he's there. Pulling away and wiping my eyes, I can hardly breathe. "And I know you don't want to hear this but tell Lizzie what is going on. She's one of the most supportive people out there, she'll be by your side through it all." Tom scolds me through his tears, and I know he is right. "I know. I will."

After a few moments to regain my composure, Tom doing the same before we say our goodbyes. Tom reminding me he won't be back for a few days so I can stay at his place or go home, the choice is mine. Either way, I probably won't see him before I fly back to Atlanta. I thank him for the last couple of days and what he has done for me before I eventually force myself out the car and into the pouring rain outside. Deciding I am not getting wet, I run from the car towards the front of the café, taking shelter under the canopy as I watch for Tom leaving. Waving him off as he beeps his horn before I make my way inside. Shaking off the few bits of rain from my leather jacket, I search the small café for the brunette I am here to meet. Thankfully, she is already here sitting at a table hidden away in the corner. As soon as she spots me, her beaming smile welcomes me as I make my over. "Captain." She teases as she stands and pulls me into her arms. "Jones." I joke back, making her giggle as she hugs me tighter before I slip out of my jacket and lay it over the back of my seat and join her at the small table. "It's very weird seeing you not in Uniform, Harley." Natalia jokes, making me chuckle as I look down at my dark orange hoodie and jeans that feel strange to be in after a day in my Uniform yesterday.

A waitress comes across to take our order for coffee before we take some time to catch up. Natalia talks about Christian and how he is. It's nice to hear they are still going strong, he seems like a great guy, and they suit each other. She then updates me on how her family is doing and then her plans for being at home from Tour. "I plan to get out of horrible London for a while that's for sure." She adds, making me chuckle as I take a sip of my coffee. "I don't blame you one bit. It's awful." I add, which she agrees with before her attention is switched to me and my life. I tell her about being in Atlanta with Lizzie whilst she is filming something for Marvel, but I don't say much more. Natalia laughs, she's not the biggest fan, but Christian is so I don't give her much to feed back to him. She then asks about Dad and Maisie, and I tell her how they are doing before I catch her eyes soften as she seems to be second guessing her next words. "Natalia, you can ask." I remind her, giving her a small comforting smile. I know what she wants to ask about, and considering she pretty much kept me alive back in Nigeria, it's only right she can ask about it.

"How's your recovery going?" She asks carefully. I can tell she knows it is still a sensitive subject, especially after yesterday. We have spoke on the phone, mainly through text whilst she has still been out on Tour, but we didn't talk about my leg much. "Physically, my body is better than ever. Well, from the waist up anyways." I begin to explain, catching Natalia giving me her undivided attention across the table. "It took a while, getting used to how much my body had changed and how dependant I now am on my upper body to get me around. So, now my arms and shoulders are in ridiculously good shape." I joke, catching her grin as she laughs at my tone. "That doesn't surprise me at all, Lane." She jokes back, keeping the mood light. "I relied on crutches for so long to get me around, and honestly it was a nightmare. They just get in the way. So now I only use them when I really need them, hence why I don't have any with me right now." I add, catching her surprise as her eyes widen in reply. "That's quick, Harley." She responds, and I can't help but chuckle at her surprise. "I know, I know but I'm not doing much walking today so, I'm fine." I try and argue, but even Natalia is giving me a suspicious look. The same one I got from Tom this morning when we argued about taking my crutch today.

After catching Natalia up on more of my recovery journey, and seeing her proud smile, she then looks a little uncomfortable. Shifting around in her seat as we finish our coffees. "Natalia, what is it?" I question, and catch her eyes widen in shock at noticing her change in behaviour. "I um, I have something I want to talk to you about but, I don't know how to bring it up so soon and I-" She begins to ramble, and I just chuckle as I reach over and take her hand on the table. Giving it a soft squeeze to stop her racing thoughts. "Natalia, whatever it is, just talk to me about it." I comfort her as best I can and see her relax a little as she takes a moment to find her words again. "I got a phone call from Charlie last night." She begins and instantly I get hit by a wave of emotions. "And he offered me to become 7 Section's new Medic." She adds and my heart sinks at first, but I quickly shake off the negative emotions and remember that this is her chance to progress and become an even better Medic than she already is. There is no one else I would trust more to look after 7 Section than Natalia. "But I haven't accepted yet." She then continues and my jaw drops. "I wanted to talk to you about it first, you boots are huge ones to fill, and I wanted your blessing before accepting." She rambles out quickly, and I am completely taken back by her confession.

I let it sink in, how much this means to her by the look behind her eyes. I can't believe she didn't accept Charlie's offer right away. But I also have so much respect for her coming to talk to me about it first, it just shows her character. "Natalia, I don't know what to say." I stutter, not expecting this at all. "I mean, first of all, thank you for coming to me to talk about it. But at the same time, I hope you're not thinking about turning his offer down!" I add, catching her surprise at my words. "Natalia, you don't need my blessing. There is no one else better for that job than you." I continue and catch her eyes welling up. "Your ready to step up, Natalia. And you'll make a great Medic with 7 Section, even if I am not there." I feel her squeezing my hand as my last words come out, catching her getting emotional. "It won't be the same without you there with us, Harley. But I won't let you down." She sniffles and I catch my own eyes start to well up. "I know you won't." I reply, grinning as she quickly wipes away her tears.

Once we get over our little emotional episode, we get ourselves ready to leave. I jump in front of Natalia once my jacket is back on, reaching the counter to pay for our coffees before she can which earns a swift punch to the arm before we make our way outside. "Please say you parked somewhere close?" I question Natalia as we stand under the canopy together. "Just across the street, that one." She points out her car as she fishes out her keys from her purse. I pull closed my jacket at the front as much as I can, ready to make a run for it as Natalia grabs my arm when she is ready to go. Looking up and down the street, we wait for an opening in the traffic before rushing out across the street, laughing as our footsteps send watch splashing everywhere. We break off in separate directions as Natalia unlocks the door and gets into the driver side as I rush around to the other, climbing inside as quick as I can to avoid the rain. Still laughing together as Natalia starts to engine and turns the heater up for us both before she starts our journey to the next stop for the day. This one pulling at my emotions more than I thought it would as we fall into comfortable silence listening to the radio on our way there.

It doesn't take too long to get to the restaurant where we are meeting at next, Natalia finding a parking spot next to a very familiar looking car. As soon as she turns off the engine, my spiralling thoughts don't seem to slow down as I search for anyone nearby. Natalia seems to pick up on my shift and reaches over for my hand. "You'll be okay Harley. There's no judgement here, just love. You know that." She reminds me in a soft tone, squeezing my hand as she waits patiently as I just take a moment before giving her a soft nod, letting her know I am ready. We get out the car, the rain still pouring as I rush to Natalia's side as she locks up the car behind her and then runs to my side. Linking my arm before we make a run for the main entrance. I open the door and let Natalia inside first before following behind her, shaking off the rain that got us before we are greeted by a staff member. It's not a fancy place we are at, but it's still pretty nice inside. "Hi, do you have a table with us today?" I let Natalia do the talking and zone out a little before mindlessly following behind Natalia as we are shown to table in a more secluded area big enough for the group meeting up today. My heart racing as I hear some familiar voices booming through the room.

"There they are! Finally!" Miles booms as we get to the area that seems to have been sectioned off for us. He quickly makes his way over, engulfing me in his arms as Kai and Jake quickly follow behind him and say hello to Natalia. "It's about time you got here, Captain." Jake jokes as we share a hug before Tyler comes over with his arms open. "Harley, you remember my Wife, Laura." Tyler puts his arm around the women beside him, of course I remember her. "Of course I do, Laura, it's great to see you again." We hug and I catch Tyler's beaming smile being back with his family again. "It's so good to see you, Harley." She smiles as she puts her hand on my cheek, a sympathetic look flashing across her face before she quickly wipes it away and goes back to Tyler's side as they say hello to Natalia as I join the guys. Catching sight of a pram sitting at the end of the table. Who could that belong too? I think to myself before Jake and Miles are practically dragging me towards the table to take a seat. We quickly get lost in catching up more than we could yesterday, the guys keeping the tone light and talking about everything but Army life. Which I am very thankful for.

I get so lost talking to the guys, I get caught completely by surprise when I catch Natalia holding a baby at the other end of the table. Then it hits me, Tyler's Wife was pregnant when we were in Nigeria. Fuck, how could I forget.. I curse myself for forgetting our conversation back in Nigeria but before I can get too lost in my thoughts, Tyler is coming over with the baby no in his arms. He has a beaming smile on his face as he comes to sit beside where I am sitting with Jake, a beautiful blue eyed baby boy in his arms. "And this is who we have been waiting for you to meet the most." Tyler coos down at the baby boy in his arms. The guys all making comments at how rude his statement is, making him just laugh and wave them off before his attention turns back to where I am sitting. "Riley, I want you to meet my Hero, Captain Harley Lane." Tyler begins telling his son, and instantly my emotions rush to the surface at his words. "Captain, this is Riley, our baby boy." Tyler then looks up at me again, tears in his eyes before he stands up and moves the small bundle towards my arms. Out of instinct, I cradle him in my arms as carefully as I can, the warmth filling my chest at the little bundle of blankets now in my arms securely. Then his baby blues look up into my eyes and that's all it takes for a tear to fall.

"Tyler, he's beautiful, are you sure he is yours?" I joke, wiping away the tears on my cheeks carefully as I keep Riley safe on my other arm. The table erupts in laughter at my words, catching Tyler flip me off across the table now he is sitting back with Laura. "He got my eyes, that's for sure." He quips back, and I smile, not being able to deny that. "Hey Riley." I coo down, one of his tiny hands wrapping around my little finger as he seems to wake up being in someone else's arms. Then I catch a flash go off from across the table, Laura and Natalia both holding their phones up in my direction as all my attention was focused on Riley. I just shake my head and laugh at their failed attempts of being discreet, but don't say anything as I go back to talking to a now babbling Riley as he chews on my finger. "So how come when Harley holds him, he just giggles but any of us hold him he cries?" Miles complains, making everyone laugh before Tyler speaks up. "Well, Riley knows the Captain saved his Dad's life." He comments, and it hits me hard hearing those words leave his mouth so easily, but I keep my head down as I focus on those baby blues to ground me from getting too emotional.

Eventually we all order some food and drinks as Riley stays happily in my arms. Everyone talking around the table as Tyler comes to check on his baby boy. "How long you in London for?" I ask Tyler as we enjoy a beer together. "Not long, we are just visiting the In-Laws whilst we are here then going home with little man." Tyler explains, beaming at Riley. "You're a lucky man, Tyler." I comment, making him nod his head in agreement. "You'll be next, Harley. You deserve it more than anyone." He adds and I just shake my head with an uncomfortable chuckle. "We'll see." I catch his worried look, but before he can say anything, our food arrives. Tyler takes the now sleeping baby from my arms and takes him over to the pram so we can all eat, Laura beaming across the table noticing Riley fell asleep in my arms. "You're a natural, Harley." She comments sweetly, making me smile before we all get started on eating. My mind suddenly focusing on Tyler's words. Could I really have that life with Lizzie after everything that has happened? Could we make it work? Could we have all of it, Marriage, Kids.. Be happy without anything else going wrong for us?

Is the life we have talked about something worth fighting for..?


It's been good being surrounded by my second family again, even though not everyone is here, it feels like home. After finishing our food, we just sit and talk some more, sharing some laughs and war stories like always. And for a moment, I get lost in my old life. A life where I knew what would be coming next. Another Tour, or training somewhere across the World. Being surrounded by 7 Section as we spend countless hours together. But now, that is all it is. My old life. And I have to figure out what comes next. Losing track of the conversation, I zone out a little before everyone begins to get ready to leave. To no surprise, everyone wants to get home to their families after a long Tour out in Nigeria. We all settle the Bill between us, leaving more than enough money on the table since we had been there a while occupying it before we begin to say our goodbyes. Jake is first to reach me, pulling me into his arms. "Don't be a stranger, Lane. When your back in London, your bringing the missus to see me in Manchester." He tells me, giving me no choice as I just laugh and nod my head in agreement. "You got it." Next to nearly take me off my feet are Kai and Miles. I swear they should have been born twins, they are stuck at the hip.

"You two be careful, wherever you end up on your travels." I warn them, and they both shrink a little at my tone. "Got it, Cap. Don't stay away from London too long or we'll never see you." Kai adds, and I agree to it before they rush off together to no doubt get into some sort of trouble. "You take care of yourself, Harley." Laura tells me as we share a hug. I nod my head and feel her arms tighten around me before Tyler is next to do the same. "Next time we are in London, we will make plans to catch up." Tyler says with pleading eyes, and I nod in reply. "Deffinently. I can't miss out on seeing this little one grow up." I say as I reach down and take Riley's hand between my fingers as he babbles to himself. "Good. Stay in touch, Lane." He adds, patting my shoulder before they make their way outside as I feel Natalia come to my side and link my arm as we follow behind them. "You good?" She checks, and I just nod my head before we are running through the car park again to avoid getting soaked. Once we are in the car, Natalia asks where to drop me off. And even though I tell her to just drop me off at the train station nearby, she argues I don't have any crutches so eventually I give in and tell her Tom's address.

"Look after yourself, Lane. And I'll see you soon." I hate how emotional it has been saying goodbye to everyone, it's like I will never see them again. "I'll see you soon, Jones." Waving Natalia off as she drives back down the driveway and away from Tom's place, I head inside with my spare key, my head a mess after the last two days. Looking around I know the last thing I need is to be alone for the night, knowing it will lead to overthinking and possibly bad decisions. So, I decide to pack up my stuff and head home. I can't leave London again without seeing Dad and Maisie. I feel bad enough not seeing them already, but I know they will worry as soon as they see what kind of state I am in mentally. Checking the time after packing up my stuff and making sure Tom's place is clean and tidy, I notice it is a good time to head home knowing Dad and Maisie will be getting home soon. Deciding against getting the train in this weather, I order a taxi to Dad's. During the drive, I get lost in my thoughts again. The last few days have been so heavy emotionally, and there seems to be no way of shaking off how it has left me. Maybe starting therapy again is the best way to go to try and make sense of it all. Or maybe just talking to anyone who understands will help?

Arriving outside, I pay the driver before climbing out and grabbing my bags and crutch. The rain is still pouring but at this point, I give up avoiding it and make my way towards the door. But before I can reach for my keys, the door swings open and I am met by a very excited Maisie wrapping me in her arms. "Maisie, as much as I appreciate the welcome, it's pissing it down!" I tell her laughing, and she quickly jumps back and pulls me into the house. "You didn't tell us you were coming home!" Maisie complains lightly, making me chuckle as I catch Dad laughing across the kitchen. It already feels good to be home. "Well, I'm here now so stop complaining." I joke back, earning a punch to the shoulder before she comes in for another cuddle. I then slip my jacket off and move across the kitchen to greet Dad, who brings me into his arms like always and instantly my body relaxes. I know he can sense how I am feeling, but he just kisses my head and hugs me tighter before we part, and he gets started making some tea for us all as I join Maisie at the table.

"So, how you come you back in London? Alone might I add?" Maisie gets right to it, a little firmness to her tone as we are all sitting at the kitchen table. Dad gives her a look that makes her shrink slightly before I clear my throat and decide to just come clean. Remembering Tom's words and knowing I can't keep hiding everything to deal with myself. "I had my de-brief from the Tour in Nigeria at the Barracks yesterday." I tell them both, and instantly I am met with a mix of emotions from both Dad and Maisie. I feel a wave of regret at being so open, but before I can spiral, Dad's voice brings me back. "How did it go?" He asks, his tone calm and caring, no judgement behind it. "Better than I thought it would." I begin, telling them what happened and how everyone is. They are both happy to hear that everyone came home safe and well, and that nothing else happened after I left Nigeria. They were both even more proud to hear that the guys managed to help the girls I was searching for that day, Dad reminding me that my actions meant they could help them. "Charlie and the Brig brought me in for a word after the de-brief." I tell them in a hushed tone, and instantly I catch Maisie look over worried of what I am about to say. I know what she is thinking, so hopefully what I do have to say will settle her worries.

"The Brig wants me to become an Instructor within the Army, teaching Medics." I add, and Dad has a sudden beaming smile on his face. "Really? So, no more Tours?" Maisie asks with a hopeful voice. "No more Tours. Just boring old Barracks and paperwork." I add, making her grin and giggle. "I think you'd make an excellent Instructor, Harley. If that is something you would want to do." Dad beams proudly, and I know he means every word. "Thanks, Dad. They gave me some time to think about it whilst I continue to recover." I continue and they both nod as they unconsciously glance over at my crutch across the room. "Well, take this time to really think about what you want to do, Harley. You have so many options, take all the time you need." Dad comforts, and I smile at how supportive he always is. "Or you could be a trophy wife for Lizzie." Maisie adds cheekily, making us all burst into laughter. This is what I needed. Time with my family. It never fails to bring a smile to my face again, no matter how much I am struggling mentally, these two bring a light to my life that I will always need.

Catching up with Dad and Maisie lasted longer than I thought it would, but I didn't mind, I love hearing Maisie talk about everything she has been up too. But eventually, we all got hungry, so Dad decided to order some food in for us, so I took my bags upstairs and got a quick shower to wash away the rest of the day and changed into some comfy clothes. When the food arrived, we all got comfortable in front of the TV to watch a film, Maisie's choice of course. Maisie decided she was joining me on the sofa, so she got her blanket, and we got comfortable as we shared some pizza and watched the film filled with some more conversations in between as we ate. After we finished eating, Dad cleared away the boxes before we started on a second film, Maisie cuddling into my side as we ended up fully focused on the screen. Eventually though, I felt Maisie starting to fall asleep, so we all called it a night and headed up to bed. Getting changed into some shorts after taking off my prosthetic and getting comfortable in bed. Sending Lizzie a text before wishing myself into a good nights sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~


Thursday Morning rolls around, and my body is aching again. And freezing. What the- Oh wait, I'm on the floor. Great. Rubbing the tiredness out of my eyes, looking around and seeing nothing but my bedroom floor. Huffing and groaning, and I drag myself up off the floor and back onto the bed, feeling every muscle in my body burning. Forcing myself up again, I make my way towards the bathroom, being extra careful to avoid another accident like last time and doing what I need to do before coming back into the bedroom to get dressed to go for a run. Being as quiet as possible, I head out the house and start on my usual route. Thankfully, it's not raining so I start my music and pick up the pace, hoping to silence out the emotions that are plaguing my thoughts lately. I know I have my hospital appointment to get through today, and as much as I want to get it out of the way, I know Dr Bailey will try and get me to slow down in my physical recovery. But I know my body, I know not to push myself too much. Not that he will see it that way.

Not even an hour into my run, I notice a few drops of rain hitting my face. Then not even a minute later, the sky open and it begins to pour down over London again. Luckily, I have a hoodie and joggers on, but within a few minutes I am soaked through. I quickly decide to take the shorter route back before I end up ill from the cold and rain. Feeling the cold rain helps give me something to ground my thoughts as I force my body through the aches and pains to get home. When I reach home, I rush up the steps and through the door, surprised when I see Maisie standing in the kitchen holding a towel ready for me getting there. I can't help but smile as I lose my headphones, and she throws the huge towel in my direction. "Thanks, Sis." I tease, making her grunt as she goes back to her coffee. Drying myself off as much as I can before making my way upstairs to get a hot shower to warm my body up. After my shower, my body already feels exhausted. I know I don't have to be anywhere until later, so I get dressed into some warmer clothes and climb back into bed. But before I can try and sleep, a small knock at my door catches my attention.

"I thought you could use this to warm up." Maisie says softly as she brings me a cup of tea. Smiling as I take it from her hands and sit up a little more as she sits on the side of my bed. Her eyes searching between mine before she says anything more. "Are you doing okay, Harley?" She asks, a hint of concern in her voice. "I've been better." I reply, not wanting to burden her with my struggles. "You need to talk to someone, before it consumes you." She adds, and I'm a little surprised by her words. "When did you get so wise, hm?" I tease, making her finally smile. "I learnt from the best." She beams, making me chuckle at her gesture. "But seriously, Sis. Don't wait to deal with stuff. We all care about you. I don't like seeing you struggle." She adds and I nod my head gently in reply. I know she can read me easily, so it's hard to hide anything from her. "I know. I'll get better, I just needed to get these last couple of days out the way first." I tell her truthfully, making her nod in reply as she sees that I am being honest with her. "Good. I'll fly to Atlanta myself if you don't start looking after yourself. Lizzie will get me a first class ticket." She winks with the warning, making me just laugh knowing she has Lizzie wrapped around her finger enough to pull that off. "Love you, Maize." I shout after her as she leaves for the day. "Love you too!" What a little shit.

After managing some sleep, and staying in bed this time, I eventually get up and get dressed again. I know Dad is coming to pick me up soon and I still need to pack ready to go back to Atlanta. Thankfully, I washed my clothes last night that I had in my bag so they can just stay here, and I can pack some other clothes to take back, as well as some other things I need to take. Once I am dressed into some black jeans and a hoodie, I get my packing done and sort out anything else I need before taking the two bags downstairs just as Dad arrives from his short shift at work. Even though I told him I could go myself, he told me he would drive me to my hospital appointment, but not before going for lunch first. I know he can tell I have not been eating right lately, so this is his way of making sure I eat before my flight later. "Hey Dad." I greet him as he comes into the kitchen, taking off his wet jacket at the door. "I hate the rain." He huffs, making me laugh as I stand up from the table. "Coffee?" I ask, but he just shakes his head as he drops off his bags from work. "I'll get one when we are out, if your ready?" He suggests instead, and I just nod my head in reply before we make our way out to the car, Dad deciding on a better jacket to wear in the rain.

Once the bags are in the car, we head off to find somewhere for something to eat. I let Dad decide, and we are seated and order pretty quickly. Dad then catches me up on how work is going before our food arrives and the conversation changes in an instance. "So, talk to me, Harley. you look exhausted." He deadpans, and I nearly choke on my sandwich. "Thanks, Dad." I groan, catching his grin as he continues eating as if nothing just happened. "I'm serious, Harley. You're not looking after yourself. What's going on?" He asks again, and I sigh as I sit back in my seat. I hate how well he can read me. "I'm not eating or sleeping well, I'm constantly in this state of feeling lost and emotional." I begin, words just tumbling out my mouth before I have time to think about what I am saying. "I don't know what comes next now that my whole life has been taken from me. I have no way of being a Soldier again." I add and catch Dad's sympathetic look as he listens to every word I am saying. "I couldn't even tell Lizzie why I was coming to London because I was ashamed..." I admit and instantly Dad's eyes widen. Shit, did I say that aloud?

"Harley Lane, you have nothing to be ashamed of." Dad begins sternly, and I feel my body shrink in my chair. "What happened to you, no one thinks any differently of you. You are still the bravest, strongest person that anyone of us have met or will ever meet. You have been through so much in your life, and still you come back even stronger every time something is thrown your way. It's not fair, and I wish I could have stopped it happening to you. But you have always saved everyone around you, and that is what you did that day, putting yourself at risk to save everyone else. And we are all so fucking proud of you." Dad speaks with so much emotion that it brings tears to my eyes listening to him. "Dad I-" I stumble over my words, wiping away the tears at my eyes. "Harley, Lizzie is the best thing to ever happen to you. Don't keep things from her, or you will lose her. She will support you through anything, she was there every day in that hospital by your side. That won't change now you are awake again. I can promise you that." I never thought of it that way, and Dad is right, why would she be there through all of that if she didn't want to help me now just the same. Why have I been so fucking stupid...

Letting everything Dad has just said sink in, we sit in comfortable silence and finish our food before Dad orders us some coffee. "Have you thought about seeing your therapist again?" Dad finally asks, and after the past few days, I really do think I need to do something. "I think I do need to start seeing her again, just to help process all of this." I admit for the first time, and I catch Dad's smile. "It's not a weakness to get help, Harley." He reminds me and I nod in agreement. We talk about it for a little while longer before Dad decides to change the subject. "I don't think I've seen your hair that long in a while, kiddo." He jokes, pointing at the hair sticking out from under Tom's beanie I am still wearing today. "Cheers, Dad. Thanks for pointing that out." I joke back, making him chuckle before he reaches for his wallet. "We have some time before your appointment, come on, let's go to the barbers. It will make you feel better." He decides, leaving some money on the table before getting ready to leave. I do the same, trying to argue about paying but it is no use, so I quickly give in and follow Dad outside towards the car.

One stop at the Barbers later, and I feel like myself again after a haircut. Dad decided to get his done whilst we were there before we made our way towards the hospital. As much as I hate the place, Dr Bailey is always so welcoming when I come to see him. We go over the usual question before he takes a look at my leg and seems happy with my recovery. We do a few exercises, and I get through them all with ease. Dr Bailey notes everything down before giving me one bit of advice moving forward. "Slow down." I knew that was coming, and he doesn't seem annoyed or upset at the way I am choosing to recover. He just keeps reminding me that if I keep pushing myself, I could end up with an injury that sends my recovery backwards. I make sure to reassure him that I am always fully aware of my body, and won't push myself past my limit, which seems to satisfy him before he lets me go with a follow up appoint in a few months' time.

I find Dad sitting outside the room onthe phone, presumably something to do with work, so I silently get his attention,and he waves over to Dr Bailey before we make our way out the hospital andtowards the car park. He ends up linking his phone up to the car speaker and continuesto chat with one of his colleagues as we make our way towards the Airport. Izone out of their conversation, watching out the window taking in the last ofLondon before leaving again. I'm not sure when I will be back yet, but I know Ican't leave it too long. I hate being away from Dad and Maisie so much, and Iknow Lizzie misses them a lot too. Dad ends up on the phone for most of thejourney, but when he eventually does get off the call, apologises for it. Iwave him off, and we end up talking about what Dr Bailey had to say before wearrive outside the Airport. "Alright kiddo, be careful, and remember what Isaid. Everything will work itself out if you face it head on." Dad reminds me,and I know he doesn't just mean the whole Therapy thing. "I know Dad, thankyou." We both get out the car and grab my bags and crutch before he makes sureI have everything I need with me, so I don't end up missing my flight.

"Tell Lizzie we all miss her." Dadtells me as he pulls me into his arms. I end up holding on a little longer thanusual, needing all the support from him I can get before leaving again. "You'vegot this, Harley." He tells me firmly, and I nod. I also trust me Dad and whathe says, so I take in his words before giving him one last cuddle. Making myway into the Airport, I kept Tom's beanie from earlier, so I dip my head downand make it past the cameras without them spotting me and make my way inside. TheAirport is busy and heats up as soon as I reach my gate, so I decide to slipoff my leather jacket and pack it into my bag before checking in my luggage. Irun into a little trouble at security as always, but thankfully I don't getstopped for a full search and make it through with my new and updated hospitalletter from today. I head for my Gate, grabbing something to drink and a fewsnacks before taking out my phone to send Lizzie a message. I don't get aresponse right away, but I guess she will be working so I end up scrollingthrough other messages, a lot more from 7 Section than usual now they are homefrom Tour.

When my flight gets called, my heartbegins to pound against my ribs, knowing this is where I go from my safe place,to facing my actions. I know I've hurt Lizzie, I just hope she can forgive me...