I THINK I DID IT

CHAPTER 5

Wow, I woke up. Wow, nothing much has changed. And wow, yesterday? What a trip. Never thought I'd see my sister stumble in drunk like that.

I'd forgotten to wash the dishes last night. Not that I was dying to clean them, but Maya probably passed out on her bed, I figured I might as well get it done. I headed downstairs, started scrubbing away, and just as I was finishing up with the last cup, Maya came barreling down the stairs. She didn't even glance at me, just rushed right past. Curious, I turned to see Maya, looking a mess—her hair disheveled, eyes bloodshot, her skin pale. She moved slowly, like she was trying to piece herself back together. She was tossing some cigarettes into the trash—probably the ones she smoked yesterday. Then, without a word, she grabbed the cup I'd just washed, filled it with water, gulped it down, and casually set it back in the sink.

No acknowledgment. No "thanks." No "about last night..." Just like nothing ever happened, like she hadn't walked in here completely wasted. As if she'd just been out for a stroll and there was nothing more to say. Typical.

I felt something snap inside me.

"That's it?" I said, my voice louder than I intended. "You're not even going to say anything? No apology? Nothing?"

Maya stopped but didn't turn around. Her hand rested on the edge of the counter, knuckles turning white.

"I don't have anything to say," she muttered, her voice low and defensive.

I stepped forward, my heart racing. "You show up drunk out of your mind, make a scene, and now you're just going to pretend like it's no big deal?"

Finally, she turned to face me, her expression guarded. "What do you want me to say, Maxine? Huh? That I'm sorry? Fine, I'm sorry. Happy?"

The forced apology did nothing but fuel my anger. "That's not the point, Maya! It's not about being sorry, it's about you taking some kind of responsibility for yourself. You've been spiraling for months, and every time I try to—"

Maya cut me off sharply, her eyes flashing with anger. "You have no idea what I'm dealing with. None of this is as simple as you make it sound."

I froze, the words catching in my throat. Whatever I was about to say suddenly seemed pointless, swallowed by the venom in her tone.

"You think I enjoy this?" she continued, her voice trembling slightly, though she tried to mask it with anger. "You think I just get drunk for fun, that I don't know how messed up everything is? Well, newsflash, Maxine—I do. But this is how I get through it. You wouldn't understand."

Her words hung in the air between us, thick with resentment. I opened my mouth to respond but stopped myself. What was the point? This wasn't a conversation anymore; it was a wall I couldn't get through.

Maya let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head. "You think you've got it all figured out. But you don't know anything."

And with that, she turned and walked out of the kitchen, leaving me standing there, the silence rushing back in, louder than before.

I stood there, the tension heavy in the air long after Maya left. My hands clenched the edge of the sink, knuckles aching from the pressure. It wasn't like I had everything figured out, but hearing Maya throw those words at me stung. I wanted to scream back, to tell her how wrong she was, but at the same time... she wasn't completely off, was she?

I didn't know what she was going through. Not really. But I wasn't about to admit that.

I sighed, turning the faucet back on and letting the warm water run over my hands. The last dish was still sitting there in the sink, forgotten. I washed it slowly, letting the motion ground me, trying to push away the anger that was simmering just below the surface.