I THINK I DID IT

CHAPTER 14

The next few days passed in a blur. Today, I decided it was time to go back home. Jasper walked into the room, catching the look on my face.

"What's going on?" he asked, his tone gentle but concerned.

"I think I want to go home," I said quietly.

He watched me for a moment, his eyes searching mine before he nodded, accepting my decision without hesitation. "Have you spoken to your sister?"

"No," I replied, but in my head, I was thinking,  If she cared, she would've called, right? The thought hung there, weighing heavily, but I didn't say it out loud. I wasn't even sure if I believed it.

Jasper didn't push, just gave me that familiar space he always did.

The drive home felt longer than usual, the silence pressing in on me. When I finally stepped inside the house, the air felt tense, like it was waiting for something to break. I turned to my right and saw Maya sitting on the couch, eyes glued to the TV. Without a word, I walked into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water, trying to shake off the heaviness.

I could feel her eyes on me even before she spoke. "Derrick told me you went out to party. Wow."

I froze for a second, then slowly turned to face her. Our eyes met briefly before she looked back at the TV. Derrick. What a dick head. I rolled my eyes, taking another sip of water. Did he tell her about that night? Shit. What if he did? Shit!

I stood there for a moment, gripping the glass a little too tightly, trying to keep my face neutral. Maya didn't say anything else, just kept watching the TV like she hadn't just dropped that bomb. But the silence between us was loaded, thick with unspoken words.

I wanted to ask her what else Derrick had said, but part of me didn't want to know. If she knew the whole story, she'd definitely think less of me—maybe she already did. I couldn't tell if she was judging me or if she just didn't care enough to dig deeper. Either way, it felt like a losing battle.

I placed the glass in the sink, taking a deep breath. "Is that all he said?" I asked, trying to sound casual, but my voice was a little too tight, the anxiety slipping through.

Maya shrugged, still not looking at me. "Pretty much. He made it sound like you were having fun." She paused for a moment before adding, "I guess that's a good thing."

I blinked, unsure if she was being sarcastic or genuine. It was hard to tell with her sometimes. I leaned against the counter, watching her for any sign that she knew more. But all I got was the flicker of the TV and her detached tone. She wasn't going to give me anything.

Maybe she doesn't know the whole story, I thought. But that didn't make me feel any better. I was still stuck with the memory of that night, the way things spiraled, and the uneasy feeling that followed me home. The worst part? I wasn't sure how to fix it. I cleared my throat, breaking the silence.

I walked upstairs, the distance between us feeling wider than the house itself. Once inside my room, I closed the door and leaned against it, exhaling like I'd been holding my breath the whole time.

I didn't know how to deal with all of this, and the weight of it was suffocating. What was I even doing? I felt like I was walking around in circles, messing up everything I touched. And now, Maya knew something. How much, I wasn't sure. But she knew enough to make me feel on edge.

Sinking onto the bed, I stared up at the ceiling, my mind racing. Derrick's a dickhead. Maya might think I'm a hypocrite. Jasper's too good for all this. And me? I'm just... lost.

I sat on the edge of my bed, my thoughts swirling like a storm I couldn't outrun. Maya knew something, but I didn't know how much. Derrick had opened his big mouth, and now, instead of dealing with my own mess, I had to deal with the fallout.

I reached for my phone, the screen lighting up with missed texts and notifications. Jasper had sent me a message earlier: "Hope you're settling back in okay. Let me know if you need anything."

I stared at his words for a moment, feeling guilty. He'd been nothing but kind, and I'd been distant, hiding behind the weight of my own shame. I wanted to reply, to tell him I appreciated everything, but the words wouldn't come. I tossed the phone aside, feeling like I was slipping further away from everyone who cared.

Downstairs, I heard the faint hum of the TV. I knew Maya was still sitting there, just like she'd been when I came home. She hadn't followed me or asked any questions. She hadn't even looked at me for more than a second.

It was like I didn't exist.

The silence between us was crushing, and yet I couldn't bring myself to break it. Part of me wondered if she was waiting for me to say something, but another part knew better. Maya wasn't the type to reach out, especially after the fight. If anything, she was waiting for me to slip up—again.

I grabbed a pillow and hugged it to my chest, staring at the ceiling. Why did I even come back? Nothing had changed. Maya didn't care. If she did, she would've said something by now. Maybe Derrick had filled her head with his version of things, and she'd decided I wasn't worth the effort. Maybe she was right.

Minutes passed, the weight of her indifference settling deeper into my chest. I didn't know if I was angrier at Derrick for running his mouth, or at Maya for being so... cold.

But that's who she was. Detached. Distant. Always watching from the sidelines. And I was tired of trying to bridge the gap between us when she clearly didn't care enough to meet me halfway.

I sighed and turned on my side, closing my eyes to shut out the world. Maybe it was better this way. Maybe I didn't need anyone—especially not her.