Heartbound Part Two (Lovestruck Series)

Day 0.2 | E

#HeartboundWP

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Day 0.2 | E

THE LAST SECOND of the fifteen minutes Elias had asked earlier from Nadia passed more than five minutes ago. He keeps still, keeps his arm draped around her over the covers steady. He fights the urge to curl his fingers on her waist and pull her closer if that were even possible. He doesn't want to disturb Nadi's even breathing that he's all too aware of. He doesn't want to alert her of the time. Ayaw niya pang umalis.

His breath fans her nape when he lets out a sigh that he has been holding since Nadia woke up and told him that she doesn't want this anymore. He keeps his free hand to himself even when he's so tempted to rake his fingers through her hair.

All he has now is regret. He regrets falling asleep right away last night. Hindi niya dapat sinabayan si Nadi ng tulog. He should have stayed up a little longer and waited for her to fall asleep. He should have ignored how his body had been wrung out after a week of studying and spared a few minutes to listen to Nadi snore lightly. He should have planted more kisses on her cheek and temples while she was asleep. While he had the chance.

He should have done all these and more, among other things he regrets not doing but doesn't want to think about right now.

Given that he cannot undo any of his previous actions, honestly, what could he have done aside from agreeing to her decisions earlier? What could he have said after Nadi practically told him that she wants to be alone? Kung mayroon man siyang dapat ginawa so they would not have ended up in this situation, dapat noon pa.

But there's no going back in time, so he has to make what he can from what he has now. Elias stares at the faint mole on the back of Nadi's ear that she's probably not aware of having, thinking of what to do next. It takes everything in him to peel his arm off of her body and get off the bed.

He needs to make her breakfast. He doesn't remember her saying yes earlier when he offered, but he'll take his chances. Kaysa naman hintayin niyang mapansin na ni Nadi ang oras at maalalang kailangan na nitong umalis. If he stayed in bed with her a lot longer than she should, magmamadali na itong umalis mamaya. He chooses to make breakfast because it might give him a chance later to keep her here for a little longer.

Elias goes to the room his sister and her husband used to occupy when they were still living here. Pumunta siya sa banyo para maghilamos, para magising-gising. He pushes his hair back with his damp hands after, and gives himself a moment to compose himself before stepping out into the kitchen. Alam niyang masarap naman ang tulog niya kagabi, pero para siyang binugbog ni Nadi matapos ang sinabi nito pagkagising nila, kaya hindi siya makakilos nang ayos ngayon. His limbs feel like they are all about to fall off, but he keeps it together and gets to work.

Cooking used to be Elias' favorite pastime. Nawalan lang siya ng gana at oras para rito ever since he started college, even more so when he started med school. Most of the time, he's too tired or would rather study and eat out. Nakakapagluto lang siya kapag bumibisita sa Ate niyang pagod din galing ospital, o kapag nami-miss siya ni Zo. But then, Nadi happened, kaya dumalas nang magkalaman ulit ng tunay na pagkain ang ref nila.

He keeps on glancing at the door to his room while preparing breakfast. He repeatedly pictures Nadi with her things, rushing out to leave, and not even letting him have the chance to ask again if she wants to eat. He knows that's a highly likely scenario, and no matter how many times he keeps replaying it in his head, hindi niya alam kung ano'ng gagawin kapag nangyari nga iyon. Would it be okay for him to stop her? Would it be alright to ask her to stay for a little longer? Would it be fair to ask her for anything?