Take My Heart... (Radiosilence, Human Au)

Meals

I looked at Alastor and then back down at the meal hesitantly, fork in my hand as I tapped it down against the tabletop in a nervous method.

I'd calmed down quite a bit, but I wasn't sure what kind of impact it'd made on Alastor and I as a whole.

"Don't be shy dear, I called you in here to eat, didn't I?" He teased.

The food looked just fine, better than fine, really. It smelled amazing, and I was sure it tasted even better.

It was a plate of grits, some thin slices of meat topped with a thick gravy sauce.

It was plated in a way that made the flavor shine through even without tasting it.

The way it looked told it all, but I still chose to dig my fork into the dish.

I took a bite, then another, then one more.

It tasted mythic almost, but everything I could think about the food circled back to how much I just admired the creator of it.

I finished the meal quickly, letting the spices stain the way I tasted, and that sweet aftertaste come right along with it.

Then it settled in, I'd known it from the time I'd sat down whether I realized it or not. That's why I stared for so long, that's why I scarfed it down oh so quickly. It wasn't because I wanted to satisfy Al, no, it wasn't to show him that I enjoyed the meal.

It was because I knew what that meat really was.

I knew it'd been carved from that man just the night before, I knew it in the back of my mind no matter if I'd tried to push that knowledge down deeper into my stomach as it started to twist.

I then took a breath.

I let my thoughts start to shift, to make out of what I knew was happening deep down, to make reason out of why he'd given me that specific meal.

It was a test, I was sure, a way for me to prove how much I adored him. The love that stretched out over field and valley, I realized that he knew it was there, he might've even been happy about it, and he wanted to test the love to make sure it didn't just go as shallow as desire did.

To make sure its authenticity was all true, and I'd be more than happy to prove to him so. If everything is what it took for him to love me then everything is what I'd get, just for us to share.

I sat and stared as he finished. I'd figured out what his motivation was, and similar to me, it was love. I just knew it was.

I helped him clean up the dishes, my soul light, and as hopeful as it could be.

"Well, Vox, you've been just wonderful, but it's around time for you to leave, isn't it?"

He asked.

"Oh, it is?"

I was hoping my question would trap him into one more conversation, but I had a feeling it wasn't going to.

My stomach twisted as I tried to suppress the rage, pushing it deeper and deeper into the back of my mind so I could still continue to smile, even through heavily gritted teeth.

I wasn't upset with him. I was upset with the fact that he didn't know anything about what was going on in my brain.

He wouldn't have let me leave if he knew how much I would've loved him. I'd worship his body like a shrine, please him in every way he'd want.

Everything he wanted, I knew I wanted too.

If I didn't, I'd learn to.

I walked out, pacing my steps leisurely to see if I could steal in a glance or two back without being suspicious.

I waved over a cab. Sure, I knew my way home and back pretty well by then, but it was muddy on the streets due to the constant downpour of the night prior.

And on my way to what wouldn't feel like home I went.

♔♕♖♗♘♙♔♕♖♗♘♙♔♕♖♗♘♙♔♕♖♗♘♙♔♕♖♗♘♙

WHATS UP YALL, IM BACK

ALOT HAS HAPPENED SINCE I'VE BEEN GONE LOL BUT IM OKAY I THINK, IM GROUNDED FROM MY PHONE SO IM WRITING ON A TABLET.

ALSO, IM GOING HOMESCHOOLED AGAIN SO YAY? (I think)

I'M GETTING BETTER, I THINK I'VE OFFICIALLY HIT ROCK BOTTOM AND AM NOW GOING UP (slowly but surely).

ANYHOW, HAVE A LOVELY DAY, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES AND DRINK SOME WATER!!!