TW, like..kinda alot of tws..
Highschool AU
Lover's POV
"Lover, what the hell is this?!" My dad yelled and slammed my report card on the dining room table
"U-Uh.. my report card?" I reply and he opens it, his face full of shame and disappointment
"B- minus for math and chemistry, C for physics AND economics? Seriously lover? Did i raise you like this?!" He yells, his face filled with rage. In the corner of my eye i see my mother feeling bad but i know shes too scared to go against my dad
"I-im sorry" i say quietly
"Is this the example you set for your sister? You aren't trying enough! Are you even trying at all?!"
He keeps yelling but my mind goes elsewhere
My grades have been slipping because people were saying mean things to me and i really let it get to me, they commented on my body, my personality my everything and i guess they just picked me apart and it really got to me
One of the only good things i have going on for me is rep. And my friends, But they arent aware of everything thats going on, i always try to be happy and cheery around them, cause i know they stuff going on too and i wouldn't want to burden any of them or anything
"..LOVER?! LOVER" my dad practically screams in my face
"oh..what sorry" i looked up at him, hes really scary like this, hes basically twice as big as me and hes standing up so thats not helping my anxiety-
A slap to my face paused my mental rambling.
After the impact my hand immediately covered the spot where he had hit me. he had never done that before.
I just sat in shock, trying to process what had happened. Where did it all go wrong? One day i was his princess and now- i dont even know what i am to him anymore, a disappointment?
"Cant even pay attention in a conversation?! God lover you better pull your grades up or else." He crossed his arms and left the room, leaving me in tears
I looked to where my mom was standing and she wasnt there anymore, she had left too.
i felt like i was in shambles.
the stinging in my face was drowned out by the voices in my head
"You're so stupid lover"
"You are a disappointment, to everyone."
"Cant get the right body, the right grades, cant get anything right"
"You're a mess."
I took my report card and i ran straight up to my bedroom but i saw my sister
"lovey? Why you cryin?" She asked, she was only 7 so i didn't want to upset her too bad
"Oh-oh nothing to worry about- uh i was just watching a really sad movie" i pulled out my best smile at her and she was convinced so i just went to my room
When did everything start going downhill? When did everything get so hard? I need to study, but im so distracted by all the noise and im probably too dumb a-and i know im spiraling but knowing im spiraling just makes me spiral even more. I just feel dizzy and i have a headache.
I check the time, 6:30 pm, dinner time. I went infront of the mirror to do a body check, measured my wrists, my collarbones, everything. And i did not like what i was seeing at all.
"love? Time for dinner honey" my mom called out to me from my door.
I took awhile to think..
"m' not hungry mom" i replied, i hear her sigh and walk away
I pulled up my phone to see if i got any texts from rep
🖤Reppy🖤
🖤: hey baby
🖤: how was your day?
🖤: love? You alright? You havent replied
in awhile and im getting a little worried
hey reppy
🖤: oh love thank god
🖤: you good baby?
oh yeah sorry, just something
came up
I didn't mean to worry you reppy
🖤: no it's alright, ml
🖤: wanna facetime?
Uhm idk
🖤: you sure you okay baby?
.............
When she sent that i kind of lost myself again, was i okay? yes.yes i am. Then why am i crying, shit she cant call me, she'll see that im crying and shes gonna think that im a loser and shes gonna think im dumb like my dad does-
FaceTime incoming:
——————————————————-
🖤Reppy🖤 ✅ ❌ |
_________________________
I wasnt even thinking straight and I immediately press the green button. Shit shit shit
"sweetheart are you crying?"
BUM BUM BUMMMMM hey guys i know i havent been active but like....idk i have alot of school and its just alot to handle right now so yeah! I'll try posting more though!! Love ya gays
