Truth Chasers

Chapter Nineteen

Wednesday 29th August, 2040.
Dalton Academy- Section 1, Quarter 1.
11:15am.
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I hate that Newton is mad at me.

It's lunch break and Lukah, Newton and I are seated in our now usual spot at the picnic table eating the food Fiona made. She prepared wheat tortilla with hummus, ham, shredded cheese and lettuce. We have packs of mini fruit salads and muffins.

But despite the delicious food and the serenity of outside, Newton eats his food ever so slowly which is completely against his usual hurried manner of eating and speaking excitedly about scientific facts. It leaves a pit in my stomach because I can't stop wondering if it's because he's still mad at me due to our fight earlier. The image of his disappointed face when I told him he was delusional for thinking we were friends keeps flashing in my mind.

"How are you guys spending the first day of Resilience?" Lukah asks. I tear my eyes away from Newton and meet Lukah's gaze. If he knows something is off between us he doesn't let it show.

I shrug with a single shoulder. I don't have anything out of the ordinary planned out for Resilience. It's a special day but unlike everyone else that spends the day waving the Union's flag around and celebrating, I always spend the day cooped up at home watching the history documentaries and the The Big Three interview. At night while, the anthem of the Union plays and the fireworks are displayed, I still stay indoors. For the past four years I've repeated this same staying indoor routine.

On the first Resilience before dad travelled, I asked him if I could go outside to watch the fireworks but he said no without any form of hesitation.
'It's too rowdy and dangerous. You could get swept up in the crowd.' He explained and I never asked him if I could celebrate Resilience outside ever again.

"I mostly watch the live broadcasts and fireworks on television." I say.

"What about you Newt? Do you have USEP classes?" Lukah teases but Newt doesn't give in to his bait like he usually does. His silence is like a knife in my heart. He's not even making direct eye contact with me! It hurts much more than I care to admit. He simply shakes his head in response and the food in my mouth tastes like dust.

"I have a crazy idea." Lukah looks from me to Newt and a flash of excitement glimmers in his eyes.
"Let's go see the fireworks live together." This is a bad idea. There is no way my dad would ever consider that. No way would Knockout even let me.

"I can't." I blurt.

"Why not?"

I clear my throat. "I don't like crowds." I manage. It's part truth. I'm not even sure how I feel about wanting to be outside during Resilience anymore. It used to be a dream of mine to be outside with everyone, reciting my vows to the Union. Vowing with my life that I would stand for the Union. But after dad said no, I shoved it to the back burner. I buried that desire at the back of my mind just like I bury every other desire that is contrary to what dad wants for me. The same way I shoved away wanting to know about mom, wanting to have friends, wanting to spend unlimited time with dad. I forced myself to believe, forced myself to accept that those things weren't important... but what if I don't want that anymore? What if I don't want to take his words hook, like and sinker.

"I'll be with you the whole time." He snakes his hand under the table and takes hold of my hand, holding it and giving it a firm squeeze that tugs at my heart. What if I want to trust Lukah and not dad?
"And Newt will be there too." He adds giving Newt his winning smile that could make anyone do anything for him. "Right, Newt?"

I turn to look at Newton who is now looking at Lukah with an uncertain look on his face. My chest constricts when for a second Newton's eyes fall on mine. I don't know what to tell him, I'm tempted to apologize when he looks away again. "Uh huh." He says after a bit of hesitation.