Tryst - Forbidden Hearts Series

21| Tainted

"So, how are things going between you and Jackson?"

I shot Lanie a look. "How many times have I told you that that subject is off limits, L? I don't want to talk about it yet. I'm still trying to work things out."

Lanie dipped another chip into her salsa. While everyone was having a barbecue party at Lanie's, including Jackson, she and I decided to have a girl's afternoon. We got mani-pedis, facials, and now we were having lunch at a restaurant by my place.

I was originally supposed to pick up Lanie  from her house, but I was worried I would run into Jackson. I just wasn't ready to face him yet. I needed to figure out what I was going to say to him and how I was going to say it. This whole infertility thing wrecked me and the only person who knew about it was Jamie. I haven't even told Lanie.

"What kind of things?" She asked as if she sensed my thoughts.

I took a sip of my tea. "Lanie, I'm not going to budge on this. I'm not ready, so stop pushing."

"Fine," she sighed. "keep me out of it. You know, you should be so lucky. I'm an excellent listener."

I chuckled at that. "I know you are, and I plan on giving you all the details soon. I promise."

Lanie reached across the table and placed her hand over mine. "I know," She said softly. "I just worry about you. You don't normally hide stuff from me. So naturally, I can't keep my mind from assuming the worst. And you and Jackson have always been so solid. It's weird when you guys aren't in sync. It's like. . . the Earth is tilted off it's access of something.

I nodded. "That's a good way of putting it. It feels like that sometimes. When I think of not being with him, it seems unnatural."

"You still love him, right?"

There was no hesitation in my answer. "With all my heart. I still feel like Jackson and I are inevitable. We're endgame. In it for the long haul. I just have to get my head on straight."

Lanie leaned back in her chair. As if she knew I wanted a change of subject, she said, "Speaking of getting heads on straight, Ayden is doing a lot better."

"Really? No more nightmares?"

Lanie smile was answer enough. "No nightmares. He still sees his therapist twice a week, though. He said just because the nightmares are gone, it doesn't mean they won't come back. He wants to make sure he's one hundred percent first. For me and the baby. And himself, too."

"Lanie, that is so great. I'm glad he's doing well."

"Nate is doing better, too," she added. "He doesn't open up to me, but Karma's been giving me some reports. She said his legs has about eighty-five percent function and his nightmare are less now. He's on the road to recovery."

I couldn't help but think about what happened to Ayden and Nate last year. Lanie had been so close to losing both of them when they got stranded in the desert overseas. Thank god for Ayden's medical background. Without it, Nate would be dead. Maybe Ayden, too. That would have been a terrible tragedy.

I couldn't even think about what Lanie would have gone through if that had been the case. And Jackson. . . he had been an amazing friend to Lanie during that time they were missing. My chest tightened and I felt my eyes fill with unshed tears.

"Hey, no crying at the table. You know the rules."

  I couldn't help but chuckle. I wiped my eyes. "Yeah, I know. Sorry, L."

"No need to apologize. Believe me, I get it."

I pulled cash out of my wallet and set it on the table. "Read to get out of here?"