˗ˏˋOur Differences Sequelˊˎ˗

-46-

Devin

I got into my car for the first time in weeks, dreading the summer workouts that were scheduled for soccer this week.

It was sunny as hell outside, which I figured was probably good for me after staying in my dark apartment for a solid 3 weeks straight.

My Mom called me while I was driving, and I declined the call absentmindedly. I've received more phone calls from her this month than I have in my entire life. Now that Dad's dead, she's started to depend on me for shit. She never wanted anything to do with me when he was still alive, but now she tries to call me multiple times a day to 'chat.'

I tried to push away any thoughts regarding my family as I parked my car outside of the Stanford soccer facility. It's been hard to focus on anything besides Dad's death as of lately.

I shut the car door behind me and walked into the weight rooms, greeted by the majority of the team. We haven't all been together since last season, and although we've lost a few members, I was still familiar with mostly everyone currently.

I locked eyes with Charlie, who was getting new weights for the bench press. The biggest reason I didn't want to come to the workouts today was because I knew he'd be here — and things were just as tense and awkward as I imagined they'd be.

I stayed on the opposite side of the weight room from him and somehow ended up avoiding him for the entire 2 hour workout. It wasn't easy, especially because we were both using the same equipment for the most part.

When we went outside to the field for drills; however, he approached me pretty abruptly.

"How's it going, Smalls?"

I gave him a casual nod. "Alright. How about you?"

"Eh. Could be better." he replied, his eyes set on me so intensely that it freaked me out.

I nodded again, this time slowly and with uncertainty. The staring was genuinely weird as fuck and I started to grow more uncomfortable as we stood there in silence.

"Anything you want to ask me, Smalls?" he cocked his head to the side quizzically and I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Don't think so."

We both stood there in complete silence, soaking up the awkwardness between us. I knew exactly what he was insinuating, and I didn't want to talk about it.

It's been a week since the breakup, and I haven't gone a single hour without thinking about it and wondering how she's doing. Most of all, I hate how it turned into a fight between us. I'm worried that she hates me now because of how I handled it.

"I think you're lying." Charlie replied. "You're dying to know how she's doing, aren't you?"

Obviously.

I turned towards the goal, trying to steer away from this entire conversation that he was trying to start up. I didn't want to talk about it.

"It's probably better if I don't know." I said to him with full honesty, and I really meant it.

Maddie's never experienced a breakup before, so I could only assume that she was taking it pretty hard. I tried not to think about it at all, though, because watching her cry in my apartment was painful enough. 

We started our team drills before Charlie could respond, and my mind quickly became consumed with Maddie, who I was trying my damn hardest not to think about.

I didn't realize how quickly I'd start to miss her. As soon as she walked out of my apartment I wanted her back, and I regretted everything that I said to her in the heat of the moment.