Tricky Heart (Wattys 2024)(English)

Capitolo 11 - You'll be more lucid tomorrow

I can't stop crying. I want to forget this soon. But how do you do it?

David's car decelerates. The light in the living room of the house is on. Why is Mom awake? I thought she was asleep. Maybe she noticed I went out without permission.

In my hands are the pieces of the destroyed Walkman. Dad, did you want it to fall off the roof? I was doing it wrong again, wasn't I?

"Martha, we're here." David brings me back to reality.

I sniff with my nose. "Thanks for the ride."

I stall, not wanting to get out of the car. What am I supposed to do now? Sleep, it's not possible. Why should I sleep, what good does it do me to get to tomorrow?

David turns off the car. "I'm very sorry about what happened."

My eyes are fixed on the Walkman. "It's all my fault. I shouldn't have gone to the roof of the school."

"No, the fault is mine. I shouldn't have fought with Paul."

"I didn't understand why he acted the way he did. And I don't understand how I liked someone like him."

"Maybe you didn't really know him well. Sometimes, to know people well, you have to see how they behave in difficult times."

I turn back to him. "Why should it have been a difficult time for him? What does he want? He wanted to be with Jasmine and now he got what he wanted. Why make that scene?"

"We can't get into his head, but maybe he would have wanted to date both her and you."

"So he wanted a double relationship?"

"It's a guess. Maybe he was undecided who to be with and had seen something beautiful in both of us."

"And what would he have seen in me?" Tears create a thick veil over my eyes blurring my vision.

"You have a good sense of humor and it is nice to spend time with you. Then, I don't know if he had the same impression as me, but, when I talk to you, I feel like I've known you all my life."

I cough a smile and wipe my tears with my hands.

"Then, I might be wrong, but I think you are also very sweet. And..." He clears his throat. "You're very pretty."

Despite everything, David knows how to bring a smile back to my face. I don't know how it will go between us, but maybe that's the only positive aspect of all these events that have happened to me.

"Thank you." I stroke his face, he twitches.

"Ouch."

"He hurt you, huh?"

"Look, I bruised his eye pretty good, too."

"Ah, so now we're bragging about it?"

He smiles. "Sorry, I got carried away. Only he kept pushing me and then I ... I don't know, I thought I had to defend myself."

"First time fighting?"

"Who? Me? No, no. I get into bar fights every week. You know, like real men."

I laugh. "Anyway, you weren't bad. You looked like a kitten defending itself with its claws."

"Like a kitten?" He moves in place and confidently grabs the steering wheel. "Did you mean a lion?"

"Yes, of course. The king of the savannah."

He throws himself dejectedly into the seat. "I wasn't very good, was I?"

I shrug. "Don't worry, you'll have other qualities."