Tricky Heart (Wattys 2024)(English)

Chapter 7 - The oak tree

Breathing is irregular and interspersed with sobs.
I pull up with my nose.
I think I have lost a liter of tears.

I've been sitting in the courtyard for maybe half an hour. This new bench is beginning to be uncomfortable: my butt hurts.

The shade of the oak tree cools two other benches, but now there is no one to occupy them.
Two more tears fall.

Now I stop crying. I have to take a few breaths to calm down.
It worked in the principal's office.
I expand my rib cage with a deep breath and a gentle breeze carries the delicate scent of lavender toward me.

For a moment, I no longer think of anything: I close my eyes and let that cool breeze caress my body; all around is silent and only the rustle of leaves reverberates in the air.
It seems that the oak tree is whispering gentle words to soothe my soul.
The idea that nature wants to help me comforts me.
Dad, did you send me this moment?

I don't know if someone or something, somewhere, wants to calm my thoughts. Anyway, it's working.
Thank you.

My eyes are still closed and the darkness behind my eyelids has never been so black and sharp. Amazing how peaceful one can be after suffering.
That's what the famous "calm after the storm" is.

I can't tell if it was the breathing or the lavender, but I feel better.
All the negative thoughts will be gone through the river of tears I shed.

I am calm. I open my eyes and wipe my cheeks with the backs of my hands.

I slip my phone out of my pants pocket and check the Whatsapp group.

Karol: @Martha the gym teacher asked me why you didn't come to class.

The message was written twenty-seven minutes ago.
I should reply and explain what happened to me, but I am still processing the punishment I got.

At the moment, I don't want to see anyone and this place is perfect.
Not a soul passes by here and that's just what I need right now.

A chattering noise comes up behind me.
I snort and turn around: it's the two girls from the bathroom. I turn sharply. It's just me here... I think they've seen me.

"Hello."
It is the voice of one of them.

Maybe if I play dead they will move away.

"Are we disturbing?"
This voice is the other girl's, but I can't tell them apart yet.

A hand touches my shoulder. "We wanted to thank you." The jingle of the bracelet reminds me of the blond girl I had taken the cigarette from.

"Ah, hello. Don't worry about it. Nothing happened." I fake a smile.

The black-haired girl approaches the bench.

"But, were you crying?"

Maybe my eyes are red.

"No, it's the wind that made me tear up."

The two cast a glance at each other.

The girl with the bracelet holds out her hand to me. "I am Nicole."

I shake her hand. "Martha."

"I am Jasmine."

Jasmine. She is just beautiful up close: green eyes, black hair, full cheekbones and lips, and a killer toned body.

I shake hands with her, too. "What year are you?"

The two girls smile.
What is there to laugh about?

Jasmine straightens her back. "You really don't know?"

If I knew, I wouldn't ask.
I nod.

"We're seniors, you?"

"Junior."

Jasmine rests her hand on my shoulder. "We wanted to say thank you for what you did in the bathroom."

"I didn't do much..."

"You're wrong. Of all the friends we know, I don't know how many of them would have done something like that."

Nicole clears her throat. "She's right. You were crazy!"

"You think so?" I crack a smile.

"Of course!" Jasmine sits on the bench. "I thought, 'How cool is this girl! Why don't I know her?'"

I am a little embarrassed and lower my gaze.

Nicole sits on the other side of the bench. "What did the principal say to you?"

"He wanted to suspend me."

"He didn't suspend you?"

"No, he finally confiscated my headphones."

Jasmine yells in my ear. "Headphones?"

"Yes, I always carry my father's Walkman with me."

Jasmine starts laughing. "How did you not get suspended? Did you pay for it?"

"No, he told me that he had never seen me in his office so he wanted to change the regulations for this time."

"No way, you're an idol: you managed to get the principal to change the regulations."

I scratch the back of my head. "Let's just say I didn't do much of anything."

Nicole couldn't keep her wristband from moving. "So, you got away with just confiscating the Walkman?"

"Yes, for three days."

Jasmine began to laugh excitedly. "As soon as you tell the party, all the girls will make a statue of you."

I shake my head in surprise. "What party?"

"My party! Hello, is anyone there?"

"The party you were talking about in the bathroom?"

Nicole smiles and points her finger at me. "Did you see that you had heard something?"

"Yes, actually I had heard something." I scratch my head and smile.

Jasmine takes my hand. "Then I'll see you Saturday night at 8 o'clock, okay?"

"Where?"

"At my house!"

"And where would that be?"

"Of course you don't know anything at all." She shakes her head, smiling. "Let's exchange phone numbers so I can send you the location on Whatsapp."

She picks up my phone and types in her number. Her phone rings.

"There, now I have your number." She hands the phone back to me. "Save mine I will contact you later." She hugs me.

I stand a little startled, but return the hug.

Nicole also squeezes me from behind.

Maybe I've met some new friends, they seem nice.

Jasmine looks at her watch. "We have to go. We've already skipped math, but English we just can't." She stands up.

Nicole does the same. "I'll see you soon. Thanks again for what you did."

"Maybe you would have done it for me, too."

Nicole shakes the bracelet. "Maybe so."

The girls smile and walk off toward the school.

I pick up the phone.

Me: "I'm on my way. Meet me at the basketball court."

How beautiful this oak tree is.
I wonder how many it has heard all these years of life.
Surely, it must be laughing now: I am cool. Now that's a good one.

My phone vibrates.

Miriam: "Okay. See you there."