Tricky Heart (Wattys 2024)(English)

Chapter 3 - I want to tell you

I have to stay calm. It's not the end of the world after all. And by the way, Paul's mother's car is very comfortable and spacious. The legs don't even touch the front seat. It's cozy.

Paul looks at me and smiles. He has not yet put the earpiece in his ear. He fiddles with it between his fingers. I wonder if he is listening to something with the other one.

Julia starts the car. I feel a slight vibration go through my feet and stop at my knees.
We are about to leave. I don't have to talk to him: he's in his place and I'm in mine. I can even spread my legs so big is the space back here. I can mind my own business.

We are moving. I think I'll listen to the music.

I take the headphones around my neck and put them to my ears.

Something bumps into the car. "Julia, wait!"

Who is it?

Julia nails it. "Hello, Lucas. Where's your mother?"

All we needed was Lucas: he is leaning against the hood with his big hands.

"My mother is not well. Could you give me a ride?"

"All right, hop in."

Lucas opens Paul's door and gets into the car.

"Hi, Paul, how are you doing?"

Paul moves to make room for him and with his knees brushes against mine.
Oh, no, no. He's too close.

"Well, come on. I'm a little anxious about my first day."

Lucas sits up, closes the door, and rests his hand on Paul's shoulder.

"Don't worry, I'm with you. I'll introduce you to everyone."

He notices me. "And who are you? Are you new?"
We have actually been going to the same school for three years.

"This is Martha. She's in third grade."

I hint at a wry smile.
I'm not listening to music yet, but I have headphones on my ears and hope he doesn't ask me any more questions.

"Never seen her." He holds out his hand toward me.

I shake his hand. "Martha."

"Lucas."

Julia gears up and drives off.
Paul settles into the seat and this time brushes against me with his elbow. I turn my gaze out the window. There is nothing interesting outside. How can I keep my mind off his touch?

I have to admit that I like being so close. I move my forearm to match his more closely. We are very close. I would say sticky. I close my eyes to enjoy this moment. Then, no more. A few more seconds and I pull away.
I wonder if he is feeling something...

Lucas shakes him and our forearms no longer match perfectly. "Anyway, I'll introduce you to my basketball friends today? Do you like playing basketball?"

"I love playing basketball."

Lucas breathes a sigh of relief. "Good."
How I would have loved to see his reaction if he had said no. Something like, "I'm sorry, I hate basketball. I prefer soccer."

I think he would have opened the car door and jumped out of the moving car. Or his eyes would have exploded out of their sockets.
Better the first option: the exploded eyes would have sucked.

Lucas couldn't wipe off that goofy grin plastered on his face. "You'll see, it's going to be a wonderful year!"

It will be wonderful. Go play basketball. There you'll find a beautiful girl who will come to watch all your games; she'll cheer at every basket you make and yell at every foul you get.
Get out of my life, Paul!

I bring my forearm close to his and continue looking out the window like nothing happened.
I feel his arm stiffen. My guess is he's noticed.

I slip my father's Walkman out of my pocket. I press play and "I want to tell you" by The Beatles enters my head.

I love this part, it's perfect for the moment: 'My head is filled of things to say when you're here. All those words, they seem to slip away when I get near to you."

This will be our song, I know. How I wish he could hear it in this moment...