The veil of hearts

•whiskey- soaked truths•

26
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"you've ruined me. Completely and utterly ruined me."

////

Across town, in a dimly lit club, Joshua sat at the bar, nursing a drink he hadn't really touched. The pulsing music and flashing lights seemed a world away from his tumultuous thoughts.

"You look like hell, man," Mike said, sliding onto the stool next to him.

Joshua let out a humorless laugh. "Feel like it too."

Mike studied his friend's face, concern etched in his features. "It's Aina, isn't it?"

At the sound of her name, Joshua's grip on his glass tightened. He saw again the hurt in her eyes when he'd dismissed her answer, the way her shoulders had slumped. Guilt gnawed at him, mixing with the ache of longing he'd been trying so hard to suppress.

"I was cruel to her today, Mike," he admitted, his voice barely audible over the music. "I saw the pain in her eyes, and I... I just walked away."

Mike placed a comforting hand on Joshua's shoulder. "You're trying to do the right thing, Josh. Keeping your distance, being professional."

"Am I?" Joshua turned to his friend, his eyes filled with anguish. "Because it doesn't feel right. It feels like I'm tearing myself apart. And her..."

He trailed off, running a hand through his hair in frustration. The realization that he had only one more lecture with Aina before finals hit him like a physical blow. After that, she'd be gone. The thought of never seeing her again, of losing that connection they'd shared, however undefined it might have been, made his chest ache.

"I don't know what to do, Mike," Joshua confessed, his voice cracking slightly. "I can't stop thinking about her. About her brilliance, her kindness, the mystery surrounding her past. And I know, I know it's wrong. I'm her professor. But..."

"But you're in love with her," Mike finished softly.

Joshua didn't deny it. He couldn't. Instead, he took a long drink, welcoming the burn of alcohol.

"What am I going to do?" he asked, more to himself than to Mike. "How can I face her in class, knowing it might be the last time?"

Mike squeezed his shoulder. "I don't have the answers, Josh. But whatever you decide, I'm here for you."

"Why her?" he muttered, his words slurring slightly. "Of all the students, why did it have to be Aina?"

He closed his eyes, but it only made her image clearer in his mind. Aina, with her bright, inquisitive eyes. Aina, with her quick mind and gentle smile. Aina, who was only 23 years old and yet seemed to possess a wisdom beyond her years.

"Damn it," he growled, taking another long swig of his drink. The burn of alcohol did little to numb the ache in his chest.

Mike, who had been watching his friend with growing concern, leaned in closer. "Josh, man, maybe you should slow down."

But Joshua shook his head vehemently. "You don't understand, Mike. I've taught hundreds of students. Brilliant ones, beautiful ones. But none of them... none of them have ever affected me like this."

He ran a hand through his disheveled hair, frustration etched in every line of his face. "Why couldn't I have met her in different circumstances? Why did she have to be my student?"

The irony of it all wasn't lost on him. At 25, he was one of the youngest professors at the university. In any other context, their age difference would have been negligible. But the student-teacher dynamic created an insurmountable barrier.