In the city of Elmira-where cobbled streets met sleek storefronts and cafés buzzed with student chatter-Dr. Joshua Bennett lived a life of quiet order. At just twenty-five, freshly graduated from medical school, he had returned to Almira University...
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PLAY THE MUSIC
AINA's POV
The airplane cabin smelled of recycled air and cheap coffee, and I'd managed to get a window seat near the back where fewer people would notice if I fell apart. Which was good, because the moment the plane's engines roared to life and we began taxiing down the runway, something inside me completely shattered.
It started as a tremor in my hands, then spread through my whole body as the reality of what I was doing—what I was leaving behind—hit me like a physical blow. The plane lifted off the ground, and I watched the city shrink below us through the small oval window, each foot of altitude putting more distance between me and the only family I had left.
"No, no, no," I whispered to myself, pressing my forehead against the cold window. "What have I done? What the hell have I done?"
By now, Felix would be awake. He'd find my empty room, my bed still made from the night before. He'd know immediately what I'd done, and the look on his face would be the same one I'd seen in the parking garage three weeks ago when I'd driven away from Joshua—devastation wrapped in resignation.
"He's going to hate me," I breathed, my voice cracking. "God, he's going to hate me for this."
My mother would be frantic. She'd lived through this once before when my father went on his final mission, and now she was watching her daughter make the same choice. The same terrible, necessary choice to walk into danger alone because staying safe meant watching someone else die.
"I'm sorry, Mom," I whispered to the window, my breath fogging the glass. "I'm so sorry. I know you tried to save me from this. I know you wanted better for me."
And Sooho... God, Sooho would blame himself. He'd think that telling me about Felix's feelings had pushed me over the edge, had made me run toward martyrdom instead of away from it. He'd carry that guilt for the rest of his life, just like he carried the guilt over not being able to save my father.
The tears came then, hot and violent and completely unstoppable. I pressed my face against the cold airplane window and sobbed like I was grieving at a funeral—which, I supposed, I was. I was grieving for the woman I might have been if I'd been whole enough to love properly. For the life I might have had with Felix if I'd been brave enough to remember what we'd shared. For the future I might have had with Joshua if I'd been smart enough to keep him safe.
"I'm such a coward," I gasped between sobs, not caring that the businessman next to me was shifting uncomfortably. "I'm such a fucking coward. I couldn't even say goodbye properly. I couldn't even—"
My words dissolved into broken sounds that weren't quite sobs, weren't quite screams. Twenty-three years of suppressed emotion were pouring out of me at thirty thousand feet, and I couldn't have controlled it if I'd wanted to.
