CARNIVORE [MxM+]

Chapter 30 (18+)

Tycho Black.

Life feels... simple. Because I think something finally clicked into place. 

The air's getting colder. My head's getting clearer as the days pass. I hate myself less and less.

I'm in a better position in football and at home. I settle into a routine. I have breakfast with Alexei, Riley, and Mr. Mendoza. I go to class. I go to practice (where I no longer feel out of place), and then to games. Then I go home and I greet Alexei the only way I know how. 

"Mf- fuck, Tycho," His hands are nestled deep in my hair, tugging at the roots. I grip his jaw in one hand to open his mouth wider, then slip my tongue inside. He moans again, his hips rolling forward into mine. The contact creates a buzzing sensation within my mind that I ignore. I decide I like the feeling, so I grind harder against him, snaking both hands under his hoodie and shirt to grip his hips as hard as I can. He's a mumbling mess at this point, but I prefer him this way. 

The skin on his neck and shoulders hasn't healed yet from the day before- or the day before that. But I add more bruises anyway. 

I attack him with my mouth and slide my hands down to the backside of his jeans, where they slip underneath the denim to feel the warm skin hidden there. My jeans are too tight for their own good, making me resist the urge to take them off. For now, I would. I'd be lying if I said the thought of that wasn't terrifying, though. 

Alexei moans my name before sinking his teeth into the muscle between my shoulder and neck. The unexpected action hit my nerves hard, and for some reason, I couldn't find myself disliking it. The need to touch him almost doubled in urgency. I feel my hands twitch at the thought of touching the front of him, but that fear strikes again. 

Just like the other night, Alexei takes a tentative hand and approaches my waistband. By now, he knows my apprehensiveness about the area, but I had already given him more than enough permission to push my boundaries. That calmed the terror down and replaced it with excitement. 

Creak.

And suddenly, but softly, I push Alexei away from me and take a step back from him and the corner I had pushed him in before sitting down at my desk. Alexei realized what the noise meant a little too late, but managed to shrug up his jeans and flatten his hair before my bedroom door was pushed open. 

Riley sat in the doorway, looking at the both of us with confused looks. I look up at him after setting down the pencil I had picked up a second ago before making eye contact with Alexei. I pleaded as silently as I could to him, please act normal, act normal.

"Yes, Riley?" I try my best to steady my voice before asking him.

Riley's confusion dissipates after a few seconds before sending me a smile. "Just wanted to tell you two that dinner was ready. Be at the table before it gets cold, please." I smile back, then tell him we'll be down soon. Riley leaves, and as soon as the door closes behind him Alexei lets out a sigh.

"We- I can't just- okay, look. I can't keep this a secret forever, okay? My partners are more than fine with me kissing someone else and doing everything but that's under the condition that I actually tell them who I'm doing it with. If- If this keeps going on I gotta say something, okay?" He looks at me with hope in his eyes. Hope that I won't turn him down. 

I sigh myself after realizing I can't say no to him. But the thought of those two knowing felt like a punch to the gut. I felt like nothing good could come out of it. I approached Alexei, ready to talk him out of it. "Listen, just listen. I..." I wrapped an arm around his waist and brought him to me. It hurt to play with his feelings, but it was better this than reveal exactly how I felt. "I promise we will tell them soon, okay? And whatever happens after than happens but, I just want it to be when I'm ready, okay?" He looked into my eyes before giving me a silent nod, then burying his face into my chest. It was small things like this that made me actually realize he was a little cute. But it was only because he was feminine.