CARNIVORE [MxM+]

Chapter 25 [Revised]

Tycho Black.

I WAS GONE BEFORE THEY WOKE UP. It was the middle of the week at five in the morning, and I was walking down the street to make it to campus early enough. I didn't want to go to school, but I knew that I had to. 

I couldn't sleep last night, and that got me thinking. I needed to go back, but I didn't actually have anything I needed. I needed my backpack and my pads for football, but the three of them had apparently banned me from ever setting foot back home. That's why I found myself in front of my home an hour ago.

I was lucky. No one was home, and the door was unlocked. I tried not to think about getting caught as I moved, making my way up to my room to retrieve my phone and gear. 

Now, I just had to get my backpack from the locker room.

That was an hour ago now. Since I had left early, I didn't have a ride to campus. It was a twenty-minute commute by car, so about two and a half times as long walking. I was lucky with something, though. I had left my phone on the charger before I left, so I had a chance to go through every email my professors had left me while I was gone.

The number of assignments I had to do was overwhelming, but I was glad I had something to distract myself for the next few days. I was also glad I developed my mother's brain. I used to admire her for that. It didn't matter because I felt stupid most of the time anyway.

My phone buzzed as I replied to an email, an incoming call popping up on screen. It was from Coach Roy. I received a text from Louis at the same time. My heart dropped, and with it, my phone. I felt like a dumbass as I watched it bounce off the pavement. 

I picked it up, observing the new crack in the corner of the screen. Whatever, it was cheap. It was hard to notice the dent next to the other hundred.

I let Coach's call ring out and disappear before carefully opening the notifications, trying to avoid accidentally tapping on Louis's countless messages from the past two weeks.

His latest one read:

I wish you'd pick up my calls.

This deep sadness welled up inside me, and his face flashed before me. I thought of the way his eyes scrunched up in grief last time I was cruel to him. I never wanted to be that way again, even if he deserved it. 

My phone buzzed again. There was another message:

I really miss you, y'know.

My feet stopped. I closed my eyes and gripped the phone tightly. I could feel myself shaking.

No. Not here.

I opened my eyes, using every bit of my strength to swipe the messages off my screen. I can't do this. Not right now.

I opened my email and finished replying to the one I had drafted. I won't think of you.

...

I felt normal by the time I reached the school. Other students still weren't here, only the faculty's cars dotting the parking lot. I checked the time. Alexei and Mr. Mendoza were waking up just now. 

I wondered if they realized I left. I wondered if they cared that I did.

I went to the locker room and put my gear away, but didn't find my backpack. I guessed that it was still in Coach's office. I vowed to come back for it later during practice, when everyone was on the field, so I could ransack his office without being seen.