I know you have been going through a really tough time. Okay, even though you don't know why you feel the way you do, and perhaps you can't even tell when this started, it's okay. Emotions can be messy, confusing, and sometimes the more we try to have an answer or insight into it, the messier and more tangled it becomes.
Remember, you are in charge of your emotions. You owe nobody an explanation of how you may be feeling or whether or not you can accept them. Only when you deserve such can you have the gentle loving necessary to avoid judging yourself.
Let me remind you that it's not uncommon to feel overwhelmed. You do not have to face this state alone, mau. Iloveyou