Kenan Yildiz - Ex

Chp. 7

"Am nervous too Bella... but we can stop anytime you want..."

He says gently as he leaves a trail of burning kisses down my body starting from my neck. Why is he nervous? I don't understand what he has to be anxious about. It's clear what his intentions are. But I don't want him to stop. I don't want this to end.

I grip the sheets in anticipation as I feel my nervousness slowly disappear. We've done this before anyway, and it's not like I don't trust him, in fact I trust him wholeheartedly even after everything.

"Kenan- p-please go slow..."

I whisper as I gaze up at him, hovering over me. My expression one of someone that's afraid. Afraid of rejection and what's to come. Not only of what's going to happen after our clothes come off completely but when they come back on again.

"I promise Bella... we'll take it slow... just like you want it. Okay?"

He says reassuringly, giving my lips a gentle but love filled kiss. I whimper as he pulls back from the kiss. Oh, how I've missed those soft lips. I nod in response to his words.

He lowers himself down to between my legs, staring up at me with concerned yet desire filled eyes. His eyes are asking me for permission.

No matter how bad Kenan wanted it he always asked for permission. And who was I to deny him that in this moment.

Oh yeah. I'm his ex. Then what in the hell is he doing in my bed acting like he's the love of my life. Acting like I'm the only one that matters. Like I'm the one for him.

Kenan hadn't even spoken or texted a single word to me since we broke up. Which in my eyes showed just how little he cared. How little he cared about our relationship. About me.

"Can I...?"

He whispers against my knees that are pressed against each other, the only way I feel slightly covered and protected. But I say yes anyway. I want this more than anything. The slight chance of this night leading to more. The little hope in me telling me we have a chance to make things work if I just let myself feel vulnerable for one night. Just one night.

"Yes..."

I say my voice coming out as a breathy whisper as my shaking hands find their way to my bare chest and intervening. I stare up at the celling as I feel Kenans big, but gentle hands slowly part my legs.

"You're so beautiful Bella..."

He mumbles against my left shin, his breath tickling my oversensitive skin. Why does his words have to be so God damn loving. He's almost going to make me believe this is real and not just us fulfilling our pent-up desires. But I want to believe this is more than that. More than just sex.

All of a sudden I feel this strong wave of pure desire and lust course through me and my fingertips find my perked up and hard nipples. Slowly I let my fingertips knead my nipples. And a few breathy moans escape my lips.

Kenan traces painfully slow kisses along my inner thigh before finally coming to a stop after kissing my damp panties.

"Can I take these off?"

He whispers as his fingers tug at my underwear at my hips, because he knows I'll say yes. 'No' was never an option when it came to him. Not when it came to Kenan Yildiz. The man I loved no matter what and would continue to do so. Because he took my heart and never gave it back. And a little part of me also wishes he never does and instead accepts he'll have to keep it safe.

"Yes..."

I whisper my voice barely audible. I lift my hips slightly off the bed so he can pull my underwear down my legs. I instinctively close my legs as the suddenly cold air hits my bare and wet pussy. He lets my underwear fall to the floor without taking his eyes off my body. Every centimeter off my body is on fire. Every centimeter off my body feels like ice. I don't understand it, but neither do I understand Kenan.