Deadly Desire In Midnight City

Chapter 9 A New Start

I stay staring at the TV with a blank expression after Lucinda turns it off. The news was a punch to my stomach. And even worse, I know Nate knew this would happen because of the way he barged into the house, and his expression while watching the broadcast. Is this really going to happen? I don't think I'd be able to stomach it.. Especially with how the Solars and Seeker government make it seem like a completely normal, scrupulous thing to do.

I begin to feel myself tearing up, everything I've experienced in the past few days seem like a blur. I don't even know what my purpose is anymore. Nate has changed my life completely in every way. I wanted to run away, to find a new life outside of the city, to escape the madness of my slave life. But does any of that really matter to me anymore?

I look over at Nate and see hurt written all over his face accompanied by shock. I know I must speak with him in order to set things straight. After all, with everything that's going on I don't wish to be a burden. Something must be done. I go to open my mouth and ask to speak with him, but before I do he looks up at Lucinda and I before announcing something that takes me by surprise.

"I need to come back here with you Lucinda, I don't want to be alone in my house anymore. I thought I needed to be alone to figure out who I was, but it was all bullshit, and a complete mistake. I also need to make sure I keep you and Allison safe, so don't question me because I will be strictly hard headed." He says before clearing his throat and continuing to speak.

"I don't care about school anymore or about what I will become, I care about my family.." He says and slowly looks at me. I instantly feel a blush creep up on my face. Does he mean I'm family? After a few seconds of silence, he speaks once more. "Allison, I want you to accompany me to my house and get our stuff. We'll go at midnight when there's barely any light out for your safety. Is that ok with you?"

I feel a rush of disappointment take over my body because he probably just looked at me in order to ask the question. I should of known, of course I'm not family. Nate and I are practically strangers. "That's fine with me, I'll be glad to help." I say with a fake smile plastered on my face, even though I try to make in sincere. Maybe when we go to get our stuff, I'll be able to speak to Nate and settle everything. It's my only chance, it'd be too embarrassing around Lucinda. And I'm sure she doesn't know about my being a runaway slave yet, so it's the safest manner too.

I see a small, nervous smile creep up on his face, but he looks away quickly. "Lucinda, can I have a word with you before we go?" He asks passively. I notice the question caught her off guard, but she agrees to it, of course. I've noticed Lucinda would do just about anything for Nate. And in a matter of seconds they're on the way to the back of the house until the door that leads to Lucinda's room closes firmly.

~Nate~

I take out the key from my pocket and slide it into the doorknob. When I hear a click noise, I open the door and signal for Allison to walk inside. She removes the scarf from her head and walks in before smiling my way. At the sight of her smile I feel a rush of warmth invading my body, but I don't mind it. I love having her around. And the way she makes me and my body react has become something I quite enjoy. If I can't ignore it, I might as well not be bothered by it.

I see her take a deep breath and sit on the couch looking exhausted. I close the door and lock it with the key before putting into my pocket. "Hey, you ok? You look tired." I say gently with a small smirk. She looks at me and smiles back but it quickly disappears within a few seconds. "Yea, that's all there is to it, I'm just tired. Haven't gotten much sleep since I ran away." She says wearily.

I feel a kick in the stomach and guilt flood throughout my body. Have I not made her comfortable? But I instantly shake the thought out of my head. She's just gone through a lot.. But I haven't really asked her much about what she's gone through. Maybe that's all she needs, someone to talk to. But I wouldn't know where to begin, and what if it makes things tense between us? Allison is finally warming up to me for whatever reason, and I don't want to ruin it..

But then again, what exactly am I ruining? Is this all just in my head? I begin to ask myself so many questions that I receive a headache. This needs to stop, I must talk to Allison and see if she feels something for me. But I can't just go and ask her now.. I have to talk to her about her past and life, get to know her better and gain more of her trust. Everything we've been doing in the past couple of days has been hectic. But if I don't get my answer soon to if she feels the same connection I do, I'll lose it. I can't keep hiding how I feel, despite my fear of her rejecting me.

"Nate?" Allison's voice drifts from the room. I hadn't even noticed she had gotten up from the couch. Her calling my name snaps me back to reality. "Yea?" I shout lightly, just enough for her to hear me. "What exactly do you want me to grab, can you come in here?" She asks. And in just a few seconds, I oblige and enter the room.

"Allison.. You grab all your clothes. And if you can pack some of mine it'd be much help. I'll handle the rest of the things." I say with a smile. Isn't it obvious? What else would I make her grab? "You mean, the clothes you got me.." She says with a scowl on her face. Fuck, where is this heading?

"It's your stuff, Allison.. I bought those things for you. Think of it as a gift I felt you deserved." I say tensely. She eyes me down with guilt on her face. I'm not exactly sure what to do. But after a few seconds, she sits on the bed and rubs her temples slowly. "Nate, we need to talk." She says, and I feel my heart beginning to race. There's no telling if this will happen or not, but I feel like I should warn Allison that my heart may explode any second.

I sit on the bed next to her keeping a comfortable distance between us, I'm not sure my heart will make it if we make skin contact. That's just one of the affects Allison has on me. But once she looks up at me with tears sliding down her cheeks, I no longer feel my heart. In fact, I think it might have broken at the sight of her crying. "Hey.. Don't cry, what's wrong?"

She looks down at the floor and sighs deeply before answering. "Nate, I'm so lost. Both physically and mentally. I don't know what I'm doing here.. With you and Lucinda. I was supposed to leave the city when I ran away, and start a new life. But ever since I ran into you everything has changed, and I don't know what to do." I feel my heartbeat growing steady before she keeps on.

"I.. I feel some type of connection to you, as if I've met you before in some past life or something, even though I know it sounds crazy.. But it's like you weren't a stranger to me at all when I bumped into you that night in your front yard. The only reason I was cautious is because you could have been a great danger to me. Everyone usually despises me for being a Lunar, and I was afraid you'd harm me. It was just secondhand nature, you know?"

I can't look at her anymore. I begin to analyze what she just said more than what I should be doing. She said she felt a connection to me, but it may be that she just randomly trusts me. Get it together, Nate. Hear her out with the rest of what she has to say. I have to force myself to get a grip and calm down. After a while, I nod my head, acknowledging for her to keep on and she obliges.

"The truth is, I think it's best if I just go out on my own, instead of dragging along with you and Lucinda. I'm putting both of you in danger and its too much of a risk to take for me.. I mean, lets be honest Nate, you barely know me.. And with Lucinda its even worse. I think its time for me to go, and for us to say our goodbyes." She finishes.

And by the time she looks up at me with a blank face, I'm almost certain my heart has been shattered into a million pieces. This isn't what I had planned for, and it most certainly wasn't what I was hoping for. I start to feel myself panicking, the last thing I want is for Allison to leave. I need her around, she's become a part of who I am in such a short amount of time. And I still think its too dangerous for her to flee the city. If anything were to happen to her, I'd blame myself for eternity.

"I guess I should get going then.." She says while getting up from the bed. NO! She mistook my silence for something else, and I feel like an idiot. I instantly grab her hand and pull her close until she accidentally lands on my lap. Her eyes grow wide as well as mine, and we both stay panting, staring into each other's eyes for what seems to be hours.

"W-what is it, Nate..?" She asks in a breathy voice. I feel frozen, as if god has taken away my ability to speak. But that's when I realize that there are no words to explain how much I long for her to stay, and that if I open my mouth, I'll babble something ridiculous which will lead to Allison leaving me. So without thinking, I grab hold of her face gently and lean in for a kiss. Within a few seconds, we're holding each other in an intense embrace, returning kisses to one another as if we're hungry for this, as if we've been waiting for each other for years. But to me, it could have felt longer. All I know is that I refuse to let Allison go, she has now become a permanent part of my life.