MARETU Fanfic

2: WHITE HAPPY

!!WARNING: THIS CHAPTER MAY CONTAIN TOPICS LIKE:
— SU1C1D3
— S/H
IF YOU FIND ANY OF THESE TOPICS DISTURBING, THEN I RECCOMMEND TO STOP READING!!

I was considered the overly pessimistic one in my class. Not talking to others, having a huge temper.. It was every ingredient to pessimism.
But there was a girl in my class, optimistic and open, happy and enjoying life. She had always tried to talk to me. I couldn't understand her pure innocent, and she couldn't understand my broken soul.
(LMAO THAT SOUNDED CRINGE. EDGY ALPHA AHH 🙏🙏 — author's note)

One time, she approached me joyfully, wanting to start up a conversation. I was laying my head down on my desk, not noticing her presence. She leaned down to my eye level and cheerfully yelled into my ear:
— "Hello!!"
I let out a huff, turning my head, looking at her somewhat offended.
— "Huh?" I said, muffled.
— "Y'know, I'm just curious.. Why are you so gloomy at the time? The world's a pretty nice place.." I zone out as she continued on rambling.
Hold on a sec, is that sensationalism?
No this is brainwash..
I suddenly interrupt her, saying:
— "If the world is that wonderful, then write down the reasons why."
I know that's just a big fat lie...
— "I'll go get a piece of paper, then," she smiled, standing up straight.
— "Ah, wait– I didn't mean literally," I softly grab her shirt, annoyed, making her halt.

I was watching her get surrounded by a bunch of students, making a loud chatter. I frown. All she did was wreak havoc on my optimism, and throw my mind into madness..
I started to wonder. Would've been nice if we atleast understood eachother.
Then my mind spirals in confusion and madness.
Why don't we get along?
Why don't we try to understand eachother?
Why don't we try to join ourselves?
I huff, snapping out of it. All these thoughts make me want to turn into a lump of flesh...
I guess some people get the gift of being loved by everyone in the world, while others are getting thrown away and abandoned like trash.

I was hiding in a bathroom stall. I hated this class, it was stressful. I had me and my razor here. I could calm myself down.
I started to cut. And cut.
It brought me painful joy, hearing my skin rip was disturbingly satisfying, my stress slowly fading away..
I zone out as I kept on cutting. I didn't hear the bell ring.
Then I hear the stall open. I freeze, looking up.. The optimistic girl had caught me in the act. Great. Simply great.
Her eyes widened.
— "Are you gonna do that?!" she yelled, horrified but concerned.
I fought the urge to let out a scoff. Thjs circumstance had zero room for sympathy..

The following day, after our first period, I had felt stressed out. I look through my backpack.
My razor was gone..
Plan B: my scissors.. they're gone too?
I look at the girl. She was looking outside, at a window. Did she steal my razor and my scissors, to stop me..?
I couldn't help but feel embarrased. I wanted to turn into minced meat at this point..

We were at a competition.
At the end of it, I got 2nd place, and she has gotten 1st.
I felt conflicted and sick to my stomach. I wanted to burst out a few tears, but that'd be too dramatic for me to cry on 2nd place.
Just why did she have to be better than me?
At the end of it, when I was heading home, she had caught up to me. I had hoped she didn't see my overly sad expression, but I think she did.
— "Hey, it's ok you got 2nd place," she started, in a comforting tone that I..  didn't like? "I think it's good you got on the top 3, it's wonderful!"
Then she continued:
— "Life is precious, but weighty, so you must enjoy it—"
— "But whom's that for? It's all for you!" I interrupted her, snapping.
She had a pouty look in her eyes.
I scoff and continued on walking, leaving her in the mist of my outburst.

One day, I couldn't think properly..
After all that conflict with my parents on the fact I got 2nd place, I wanted to end it all..
I can't do this anymore.
I really can't.
I had gotten a chair, and a years-old rope.
Finally, peace.. I can finally go up to the skies...
The fact I was able to do this now, felt like a prize from fate.
I don't care if anyone'll stop me.
Come take my first-place prize.

...

Rip.

(sorry if this chapter is a bit short 🙏🙏)