The Endless Golden Dunes

Chapter 23: Seeing Brothers Go

ADAM

Watching them go away was an experience that Adam felt on the thirteenth day of Sabar. He had watched the caravan slowly disappear until either it was just a dot or was obscured by the constantly shifting dunes. Eventually, either way, they were gone, and gone until … well, that wasn’t up to him to decide.
  
What was the most he could do? Pray. Yes, that was the more proper way, he thought. The One above was always watching. He would be one to look after the rest, keep them alive and all. That was of some comfort to Adam.
  
‘Go to Hell, you infidel.’
  
The memory, at that point, was very much burned inside his brain. Those words were one of those sentences that came at one like a sudden arrow. One wouldn’t expect it, and it would hit them right in the eye. That was what Elijah’s words were, in all simplicity.
  
Where did those days go of Elijah when he was simply … Elijah?
  
‘I want to join the army.’ Elijah said.
  
‘What?’
  
‘Jerusalem is a tragedy, and I do not want it to end as such.’
  
‘Elijah, where is this coming from?’
  
‘There will be people coming here to enlist citizens into the army. I will be there to join them and fight against the Mongols.’
  
‘I … still do not understand why you are doing this.’
  
‘Jerusalem is like a brother to me, and that brother has his children, and those children have their husbands, wives, and children of their own. What would happen if the Mongols just appeared and massacred us all like they massacred other people? I will contribute to thwarting their plans. I want you to help me as well.’
  
‘Elijah, this is not you thinking.’
  
‘It is me thinking. I am tired of people dying prematurely, I am tired of having to see that. I will change my name, pretend that I am from another religion. I will tell that to my mother.’
  
Adam thought about what Elijah was saying.
  
‘I don’t know if I can come with you.’ He said.
  
‘But you need to, please. I need you to.’
  
‘I will be leaving everything behind just to go to war. It is not worth it.’
  
‘Not worth it you say? Tell me, how would you feel when history will say that if Adam had joined the army, the Mongols wouldn’t have been able to sack Jerusalem. You will be the reason many will die. Do you understand that?’
  
‘Elijah, I–’
  
‘The Jews will praise you, Adam! They will be proud of you! They will remember you as Adam the Saviour. Do you not want that glory? Are you this ambitionless?’
  
Elijah continued to bombarde Adam with motivation and inspirations. They had pinches of insult in them and Adam was given no chance of replying. When Elijah finished, Adam sighed.
  
‘Fine,’ he said. ‘I am willing to go.’
  
Elijah’s lips cracked into a wide smile.
  
‘Thank you, my friend, thank you,’ he said. ‘You need to ask your parents about this, of course. I’m sure your father used to be in the army as well, right?’
  
‘I – I’ll see what I can do.’
  
Adam now realized where it all began to go wrong. The moment Isaac died, it changed Elijah forever, for the worst no less. What would have happened if Isaac didn’t die? What would Elijah be like? Where would he be? He wouldn’t be here, that was all too sure. But what about Elijah?
  
Adam tried imagining what would happen. He thought of Isaac, Mary, and Elijah going to the marketplace, laughing with Ibrahim while they bought vegetables. Then Adam imagined them a few years later. Isaac and Mary have a cane now and they are attending a sermon being delivered by Elijah who has now become a priest.
  
Adam suddenly laughed at that thought. Elijah as a priest was a bit hysterical. He imagined what the children would call him: Father Elijah. Adam laughed more until his ribs hurt. The pain was a wonderful feeling. Adam sighed, but his smile remained.
  
Though, his lips returned to normal when he realized that he was conjuring fantasies. That was nearly always a bad sign. The fact was, that sort of thing would never happen, and Adam should muster up the courage to admit to himself that that was the case.
  
Despite telling himself that, Adam kept on imagining situations where things would have just … ended differently. They would all just be in Jerusalem and everything would be fine, perfect even. Unfortunately, Adam realized that perfection was against the laws of the universe. Perfection couldn’t exist, because imperfections are what paints beauty in the world. Perfections ruined everything. If the possibility of perfection existed, people would strive for it until they go mad. Instead, now that they know that it is normal to be imperfect in ways, they would be proud of their flaws, and might even do their best to compensate or fix them.
  
At the end of the day, it was the fact that one who acknowledges his imperfection and tries to fix his flaws is the wisest of men.
  
There was also the fact that the One that Adam knew as his Lord was the only perfect being. If anyone was perfect, it was Him. The thought made Adam smile, as he now had another reason to not doubt the Lord’s supremacy over him.
  
Adam frowned when his thoughts went back to Mary. Poor Mary. What was she thinking of back in Jerusalem? She would be crying, most likely. Bawling her eyes out as if in mourning. It was a terrible thing to imagine. It was a fate no mother would want.
  
And what about his own mother? What would they be thinking? How do they feel celebrating Hanukkah or Sabbath or any other religious festivals without him? Do they even mind his absence? He imagined them lighting the candles, praying that Adam would return safe and have Hanukkah with them next year.
  
When would that year come?
  
The loud air whistled in his ears, filling him with some unknown energy. It was some sort of divine force. As if He Himself had decided to fill Adam’s body with some kind of vigor that made him want to scream.
  
‘Elijah, O Elijah!’ Adam called out to the desert, risking people finding the truth. ‘What has this world done to make you as such? What have you done to yourself? All I can do is pray to you. That is all.’
  
For a moment, he looked at the desert once more and imagined all of his comrades with the caravan. All of them. Hamza, Elijah, Salman, Ismael, Ali, Umar, and Abbas. They were all dear to them. He had spent time with them, and just from that, and shared experiences, they grew a bond like brotherhood.
  
After all, how different were they from being brothers?
  
‘Return safely.’ He said.
  
Then, strangely, a stream of wind came to him and seemed to kiss his face. Then Adam heard a voice, but it felt that it came from nowhere.
  
‘They will return back safely; do not fret,’ the voice said. ‘The mountains are a great friend of mine. They will take care of them.’
  
It was the desert. Adam knew it. If it was any other situation, he might have screamed in horror. But now, he smiled in contentment.
  
At least there was a clarification from the dunes themselves.