Gnarly Ghosts & Sexy Spirits

The Choke (The Cough Remix)

Adapted from a friend's ghost story.

     We moved to an old house last year. It's in a neighborhood with similarly aged homes, all tightly packed along the street. There's about a yard between each home and the street is only two yards from the narrow front porch.

So everyone is close enough to hear each other when outside. Or, that's what I assumed based on the realtor's comments. They told us that even though the homes were close, something would have to be quite loud to be heard in a neighboring house.

We had a great deal for the cozy house and it'll be great for our kids, when we have them. So the closeness was only a minor issue when we decided to buy.

The older couple on one side was very nice to us. They were nearing retirement and hadn't had children. Their names were William and Jane. They told us that they had lived there since getting married and liked the neighborhood. On the other side was another couple in our age group named Ben and Lisa. They had lived there a few years, but both had occupations that kept them on long hours. So we didn't get to speak with them often.

Across the street were two couples with grade school aged children. One couple named Bob and Lori kept to themselves, but seemed nice. The other, Keith and Brenda, didn't like anyone else. We avoided them when possible. The house between those couples was occupied by an older gentleman named Sam. He was a widower that had lived there his whole life and had inherited the house from his parents.

William said that if I ever needed to know something about the area to ask Sam.

"He knows everything about the history of this town."

That was good to know, since I was interested in local history—especially with what would soon occur.

One evening we were eating dinner and I could hear something, possibly outside. It got a little louder and I asked my husband , "Do you hear that? What is it?" He suddenly noticed and said, "It—it kinda sounds like people having sex...but outside?" We were confused as the noises got louder. Then a choking sound replaced the others and it suddenly stopped.

We both went to the front door and looked outside to see no one there. "Maybe the neighbors are doing it.", he guessed.

"Yeah, I guess so."

We went back to the dining table and finished dinner with no further weird noises.

A few days later it was the weekend and around noon the sex sounds started again.

"Dang, they like it rough!"

My husband was embarrassed by my near-shout. "Well they do!" He listened for a moment and I called him a perv. He said, "No, wait. Listen. It's like it's outside. They can't be outside, right?" I listened for a moment.

"You're right!"

He went to the front door and went out on the porch. No one was there and he couldn't hear the sounds anymore. He closed the door and we both heard the choking again. Then nothing.

"I don't understand. It sounded like it was out front until I opened the door. Then it was like it faded behind me into the house." I was concerned by what he said. How could it be outside and then got so fast?

"That's creepy!"

Nearly a week later I was out back pulling weeds while my husband was working later due to some meeting. I finished up and sat in a chair looking around wondering what we needed to do to fix up our yard. It was getting close to time for him to get home, so I started inside. As soon as I opened the back door I heard people inside having sex!