WARREN GIDEON: In War, I Found Peace [Warren & Astacia]

Kabanata 10

    Puwersahang inalis ko ang tingin kay Warren at itinungo roon sa kinakain ko, ‘yong paningin kong sobrang nanlalabo sa mga namuong luha dahil sa sobrang sakit ng reyalisasyon na kay Cielo siya at hindi kailanman magiging akin ay literal na gumuguguhit sa dibdib ko, nanunuot sa bawat hibla ng katawan ko.

    Loving Warren Gideon Arespacochaga was like walking barefoot on broken glass, every step I did, no matter how careful, cut deep, and yet, I could not stop myself from liking him, from wanting him. Kahit pa alam ko namang maiiwanan lamang akong sugatan at duguan sa huli. And just like always, we simply could not stop wanting something we knew would never be ours. And God, it was almost pathetic, how much I held on to the pieces of him that were not even mine to begin with.

    How could love hurt this much?

    How could it feel so beautiful and so cruel at the same time?

    Habang sabay na natatawa at naiiyak ay kumuhit ako roon sa dessert na inihain sa amin, at parang binibiro ako ng mundo dahil imbes na maglasang matamis ito ay sobrang pait sa bibig ko, sing-pait ng nararamdaman ko.

    “Mommy, okay ka lang po?” Warrion suddenly asked, his handsome, little face full of concern, to which I forced a smile and nodded, trying to mask the pain inside.

    “I’m okay, baby,” I assured him softly, though those words felt heavy on my tongue.

    Because the truth was, I was not okay. Not even close. The pain in my chest felt unbearable.

    Baby, I wanted your daddy for you and me. I wanted us to be a family, but we could not afford to break your Tinang Cielo’s heart. She was his from the beginning and would be his until she wanted him to.

    Kapwa naalis ang tingin namin ni Warrion sa isa’t isa at sabay na napalingon doon sa stage sa unahan kung saan naroon ang magkakapatid na Arespacochaga, sila na mukhang patapos nang mag-perform.

    The crowd clapped as the final notes of their song faded. Muli, habang ang lahat ay abala sa paghanga sa kabuuan ng banda nila, ako naman ay nakatutok lamang ang mga mata kay Warren na nakaupo sa likod ng drums niya. I watched as he wiped the sweat from his brows, stood from where he was sitting, and placed himself behind the microphone stand. He, then, grabbed the mic and smiled as he leaned forward.

    “Once again, we are The ASSthetics,” aniya kung saan muling nagpalakpakan. “And we want to extend a huge thank you to everyone here tonight. A special shoutout to our wonderful and generous mayor for inviting and welcoming us here,” he added, his deep voice still steady despite the intensity of their performance.

    I took a silent gasp when Warren ran a hand through his messy hair. At hindi ko mapaniwalaan na ‘yong guwapong lalaki ay may mas iguguwapo pa pala. He glanced down for a moment, his eyes softening before he spoke again.

    “That song marks the end of our planned set for tonight. However, ladies and gentlemen, I’ve got something a little more in store for you,” he continued, his voice filled with anticipation.