WARREN GIDEON: In War, I Found Peace [Warren & Astacia]

Kabanata 13

From staring at the call log after that talk with Cielo, I opened the calendar on my phone to see what day it was and how many days were left until she was home. She mentioned she would be back next week, and today was already Thursday. That meant Warrion and I likely only had three days left with Warren.

Three days.

Just three painfully short days.

If only time could slow down and stretch those three days into forever.

Pero batid kong hindi ganoon na tumatakbo ang buhay. Na gaano man kasidhi na hingin ko ‘yon ay hindi kayang ibigay. For once, I wanted to be brave enough to fight for my love, even if it meant betraying and hurting my own sister. I wanted to choose myself and my son this time.

But it was not that simple.

If only it were.

Pinilit ko ang sarili na bumangon kahit pa ang gusto ko na lamang ay magtalukbong ng kumot at iiyak itong miserableng nararamdaman, pero wala na akong magagawa pa kundi ang bumangon sa kahibangan ko at gumising sa katotohanan. Kailangan na naming umalis ni Warrion dito sa bahay, higit sa lahat sa buhay ni Warren. Hindi maaaring maabutan kami ni Cielo rito, lalong hindi niya maaaring malaman ang tungkol dito.

With trembling hands, I dialed Satianna’s number, the only person who could help me with my problems.

After what felt like an eternity, she finally picked up my calls. At wala pa man ay naiiyak na ako, hindi na mapigilan pa ‘yong sakit at lungkot na nararamdaman ko.

“Tash? Hey! What’s up? Bakit ngayon ka lang napatawag? Are you and Warrion alright? May problema ba?” sunod-sunod na tanong niya.

“Sat,” naiiyak na pagtawag ko.

“Ano ‘yon? Tash, pinapakaba mo naman ako, e! Bakit ka napatawag?”

Natigilan ako, hindi sigurado sa sasabihin ko.

“Tash? Hey! Nariyan ka pa ba?”

“I’m here. Ah, itatanong ko lang sana kung bakante pa ‘yong staff position sa boutique mo sa Manila?” tanong ko.

“Yes. Bakit mo naitanong?” she asked back.

I bit down on my bottom lip, hard enough to feel the sting, as what felt like a huge lump formed in my throat.

“Sat,” I called again, more like a whisper, my voice wavering slightly.

“What is it? Tash, what’s really going on with you? Are you alright? Are you crying? At bakit mo naman biglang naitanong ang tungkol doon sa trabahong inaalok ko?” alalang-alala na mga tanong niya.

Several months ago, long before Warren reentered my life and before any of this happened, Satianna had offered me a job in Manila. She said I would earn far more there, especially with her boutique catering to big-name celebrities and high-profile clients. But I could not leave Cebu back then because this place was my comfort zone, here was my home, and I was so scared to take that leap, and no matter how tempting the offer or the money involved, I turned it down.

Now, though, it seemed like the right time to reconsider the offer. Cielo could not find out about Warren and I. Na habang wala siya ay inaahas ko ‘yong boyfriend niya. Anong klaseng kapatid ako at nagawa ko ito sa kaniya? Meanwhile, staying here was complicated. Most of all, I could not bear to see them together. That would shatter me into a million pieces, crush my heart to dust, and tear my soul apart. Maybe accepting this job was the right decision. Maybe this was the only time Warren and I were meant to have, and I could not ask for more.

Kung sana ay tinanggap ko itong trabaho noon ay wala sana ako sa ganitong sitwasyon. ‘Yong landas naming dalawa ni Warren ay hindi magtatagpo. Pero sa kabilang banda, hindi ko mararanasan ‘yong lahat ng mga pinaramdam niya, which were the best things that ever happened to me.