WARREN GIDEON: In War, I Found Peace [Warren & Astacia]

Kabanata 9

    Imbes na bigyan ng awa at simpatya si Mommy ay malaking pagtatampo lamang sa kaniya ‘yong naramdaman ko. Kasi heto na naman siya na tatawag lamang kapag may kinalaman sa kaniya, kapag kailangan niya ng tainga na makikinig sa mga hinaing niya. Wala pa akong natatandaan na minsang tumawag siya sa akin para mangumusta, para ako naman ‘yong pakinggan niya, tanungin kung maayos lang ba ako, kami ni Warrion, o kung kumakain at buhay pa ba kaming dalawa.

    I stood in silence, staring at the dull morning sky. Mommy’s sobs filling the line, but I could barely bring myself to listen to her, wishing I could block out the sounds of her voice entirely. Despite her repeated attempts to introduce me to Cornelius, her lover, before, I could not bring myself to meet that man for I was still hurting from her separation to Daddy. And if I was going to be honest with my feelings right now, a part of me was finding a twisted satisfaction in knowing her suffering and hurting. And learning from her that her man had also abandoned his own children for their selfish needs, I could not help but to feel that they both got what they deserved. This was karma for them.

    Masama ba akong anak kasi ganito ako mag-isip? Pero papaano nila nagawa ‘yon sa mga anak nila? Because just thinking about me abandoning Warrion was making me sick already. It felt like someone was excavating my insides with a rake. I would rather die than to be parted from him. Moreover, when it came to matter of children, should not all mothers be selfless?

    Napabuntonghininga ako nang makarinig ng kalansing ng baso, ako na natitiyak na nagpapakalunod na naman siya sa alak.

    “Mommy, please, stop drinking,” saway ko.

    “But I am not drinking,” tanggi niya.

    I released a deep, tired sigh, resigning from this conversation that was clearly going nowhere. Kailan ba siya nakinig da akin? Again, everything I told her would only fall on deaf ears.

    “Take a rest, Mommy. Baka kailangan mo lang po ng tulog. Good bye,” paalam ko na at hindi na hinintay pa ‘yong magiging tugon niya dahil magpapaikot-ikot lamang ‘yong usapan naming dalawa.

    I glanced back at the morning sky, rubbing my face in frustration. Then suddenly, my attention was drawn to a commotion nearby. Remembering Warren and his father, I quickly left the room to check on them and suddenly stopped on my tracks. Standing against the railings on the second floor, I found him arguing with Millie again, with his youngest brother, D’Angelo, trying to intervene. Samantala, si Derek naman ay paroo’t parito ng lakad, tila ba hindi mapakali at panay ang utos na hanapin daw si Tating na mukhang nawawala na naman. Honestly, I was worrying about her. She seemed hiding something, restless, and very sad. Hayes, on the other hand, was just sitting prettily on the couch, seemingly without a care in the world. Among them, he seemed to be the easy-go-lucky guy.

    “You should have your hand check, Kuya. Baka malala ang bali niyan,” dinig kong sabi at pag-aalala ni D’Angelo kay Warren.

    Agad na lumipad ang tingin ko sa kamay ni Warren, nanlaki ang mga mata at napasinghap nang makita na dumurugo iyon na tila ba may sinuntok siya.