A Thing Called Love

The Auditions - Part 2

POV JULIETTE

LATER, ON THE REFEITORY...

Well, for now it has been great. The English, Spanish and Geography classes were fine (especially English and Spanish), the teachers are good, and I'm feeling okay for now.

Now it's time for lunch, and I'm coming face to face with my old enemy: the crowded refeitory.
Well, I promised myself I would try, anyways, I always bring my surviving kit: silicon dampers, a headphone that cancels noises, stim toys and some shenanigans. So, I put on my dampers and walk straight to the refeitory. But as soon as I put my eyes on the room, full of students talking loud and running around, and with almost every seat full, I panic a little and think: "Nope. Not today."

As someone who also has social phobia, so... It makes me feel horrible at socialize with people.

Then I back away of the refeitory and try to get a little corner to be at peace, lunch and unmask a little bit, making the unfailing breathing exercise that my therapist taught me to control my anxiety and depression crisis. And ever since then, I successfully control them. Soon, I find a perfect spot: between the lockers, a sitting place, comfortable and good to be invisible for a while.

Lucky me that I always bring my home lunch, because I don't eat everything that everyone eats, 'cause, you know, sensory problems. Today, the lunch of the day is orange juice and a good and classic sandwich. I love sandwiches, especially with cheese and ham. Mmm, delicious. 😋

In between 13 minutes, I already have eaten, while reading the English class book and humming a song I've been writing for a few days. I love everything that's relative to writing and music.

I look at my watch. It's not yet the Biology class hour. So, I close my eyes slowly and think about everything that makes me happy. I think about my mom, my Aunt Jenna, my grandma, and my fantasy dream of being an actress and singer, and being an inspiration to people with any disability. I just need to fully control my anxiety and sensorial crisis to it. I know masking is prejudicial for people like me, but I think it's better than everyone running away from you for being who you really are. I'm trying so hard to unmask and be happy for who I am, but I just hate who I am sometimes. I don't think I'm special or anything else, and I can't love someone like my family loves me. And it's harmful, I know, but it's who I am. A lonely girl with a desperate heart, but not like Anna from "Frozen".

- Hello? - a voice suddenly scares me and I jump almost instantly. It's the red haired boy that I saw before, with the curly haired boy by his side. - Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to scare you! We just wanted to talk to you.

- No, no, it's okay, I just... Wanted to get some air. I just don't like crowded places. And before you ask me, yes, I'm new here.

- Yes, we know. We just wanted you to be welcome here to East High! - the red haired boy says.

- Thanks. You two already study here? - I say, packing up my backpack.

- Yes. - the curly haired boy says. - We study here since the first grade of our lives.

- Cool.

- Oh, we were not introduced! I'm Big Red! - he says, we both shaking hands.

Wait a second. His name is "Big Red"?

- Big Red? - I ask, confused. - Is this really your full name?

- It's how I like to be called. My real name is Rodrickbert Redonovich III, which I admit, it's weird, but I'm very proud of it.

- I liked it. It's unique.

- Thanks.

- And I'm Richard Bowen. But everyone calls me Ricky.