You really know me.

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I had orchestra 2 times in one whole school day. Our advanced group, Philharmonic and then Chamber orchestra for 2nd period.

I had so much music to practice

Its overwhelming I guess

I have to be on top of school for not only my parents, family, for the sake of my freedom and for all my orchestras

The older you get the more loaded you become said literally nobody

'Just keep my head up'

I never understood the purpose of a life motto

Thats stupid

Why are you basing every thing you do based off a single sentence that most of the time you need to twist your brain to achieve

I still think that way

But I understood a bit better when I was 9

We had a field trip to the community pool nearby

Although we were supposed to wear life jackets, I took a $15 dollar bet that I would jump in the deep end

And didn't check how deep it was before I jumped in

And I didn't realize how deep it was either until I jumped in

And when I jumped in and I immediately began drowning

Who sends 3rd graders on a field trip to a pool where the pool is 12 feet deep?

Stupid people, but only stupid kids don't pay attention

While I was struggling to stay afloat, I remember a voice calling out to me, "keep your head up"

I cried at first, I thought it was God about to take my life away

As I continued to panic I looked around and realized the voice was Daniel

I started crying, the more tears that fell, the more I sank underwater

The pool was unattended without a lifeguard, hence the need for life jackets

I don't remember the rest, but I remember suddenly coming up from the water, I began to float

I looked around at my new atmosphere, it no longer looked like a pool, but I was literally in the clouds

But it was night, and the stars were everywhere and I could touch them, but I still couldn't breathe

I was floating and couldn't breathe

Surly its because space doesn't have oxygen

I wanted to go back to reality but I felt my time was slowly running out

I was suffocating

It hit me like a brick, this is probably my last moments

Filled with hallucinations

After what felt like years of being in this state I awoke with many people around me in an ambulance, with water all over me as I continued to cough more up

'I'm not dead, at least'

Everyone in the ambulance gasped in relief as I finally regained consciousness and my ability to breathe

While hyperventilating and coughing up all the water I had swallowed the only thing I could physically do was cry

To be frank, why was I crying? No clue

Maybe I was scared because I didn't know anyone in there with me

Or because I was bombarded with questions like how I am or how I got like this

Perhaps it was because im glad I was alive and not dead

I don't remember anything else but being glad im alive and so so so much water coughed up

I was in the hospital for two days

On the second day, my discharge date

I was about to get all my stuff to go home

And then I got a visitor

And it was none other than Daniel accompanied with his mom

He handed me flowers and a hand made card with messy hand writing and macaroni

My elementary crush, but middle school boyfriend

I like to say, that was the day I realized I loved him

Liked him, I meant.

That memory always reminded me that taking breaks and paying attention was important

If I kept my head up, I wouldn't have been extremely close to losing my life that day

The only thing I would receive was a lecture

Keeping my head up and breathing taught me how to calm down and think

It's essential thinking skills you develop at like 6

Unless you're stupid and would risk your life for $15

I never got my money