My Year in Chicago - Carl Gallagher

"Why have you avoided me?"

I had been doing a pretty good job of avoiding Carl. Ignoring his texts, staying away from the places I knew he'd be, and not even showing up to tutoring anymore. It had only been a few days since the party, but each day felt like it dragged on forever.

The anger was still there, burning just under the surface, but now it was mixed with something worse—hurt. Every time I replayed that conversation in my head, I felt stupid. Stupid for letting myself think there was something between us, stupid for expecting Carl to be any different from his friends.

But today, I wasn't quick enough. As soon as I rounded the corner near the lockers, there he was, leaning against the wall, his eyes locked on me. I tried to duck into the classroom, but he caught up fast, grabbing my arm before I could slip away.

"Hey, what's your problem?" he demanded, his voice sharp, like I was the one who had done something wrong.

I pulled my arm away, crossing them over my chest defensively. "I don't have a problem, Carl. I just don't feel like talking to you." My voice came out colder than I intended, but I didn't care.

Carl looked at me, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion, but there was something else in his expression too. Frustration. "You've been avoiding me for days, Anabelle. You don't even show up to tutoring anymore. What's going on?"

I stared at him, wondering if he was really this clueless. Did he not remember what he said at the party? "I think you know what's going on."

He threw his hands up in the air, like I was speaking in riddles. "No, actually, I don't. So, how about you just say whatever you're thinking instead of giving me this silent treatment?"

My anger flared up again, all the hurt I'd been pushing down suddenly bubbling to the surface. "You seriously don't know? You said it was 'just casual,' Carl! Like I'm some random girl you hooked up with at a party, and it didn't mean anything to you!"

He blinked, his expression hardening, but he didn't say anything right away. That only made me angrier.

"Do you know how humiliating it was to stand there while you acted like it was nothing?" I went on, my voice shaking with emotion. "I thought we were getting closer, Carl. I thought maybe we had something. But clearly, I was wrong."

Carl's face twisted in frustration, his jaw clenching as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I told you from the beginning, Anabelle. I'm not looking for anything serious. You knew that."

I stared at him, feeling like someone had punched me in the stomach. "Yeah, you did. But you didn't have to make me feel like I was just... just some fling."

He rolled his eyes, his expression turning cold. "Oh, come on, Anabelle. You're acting like this is some kind of relationship. It's not. It never was."

His words hit me harder than I expected. My chest tightened, and I fought back the sting of tears. I hated that he could make me feel this way, like I was nothing. Like I didn't matter.

"Well, I guess I was stupid for thinking you might actually care," I muttered, my voice barely above a whisper.

Carl's face darkened, his frustration boiling over. "You think you're the only one who's hurt here?" he snapped. "You're not the easiest person to be around either, you know. Always with your walls up, acting like you're better than everyone else. You can't even handle it when things don't go your way."

His words cut deep, sharper than anything I expected. I stared at him, stunned, as the weight of what he said sank in. I wasn't better than everyone. I wasn't even close. But hearing him say it so bluntly, so cruelly, made me feel small.

For a moment, neither of us said anything, the air between us thick with tension.

"Wow," I finally whispered, shaking my head. "You really are a jerk."

Carl's expression didn't change. "Yeah? Well, maybe you should stop acting like some fragile little princess and toughen up a bit."

That was it. I couldn't stand to be near him anymore. My hands clenched into fists, my heart pounding in my chest. Without saying another word, I turned and walked away, my vision blurry with angry tears.

I didn't look back. Not once. But I could feel Carl's eyes on me, even as I disappeared down the hallway.