My Year in Chicago - Carl Gallagher

I hated it.

I'd gotten used to the act. Or at least, I thought I had. It had been a few days since Carl and I started this whole fake dating thing, and it was becoming second nature—holding hands in the hallways, sitting together at lunch, pretending we were something we weren't. It was all for the sake of Lexi, to make her jealous, to give Carl some sort of revenge. I kept reminding myself of that.

It was just an act.

But today, it felt different.

I was standing by my locker, rummaging through my backpack for a pen, when Carl came up behind me. I didn't even need to look to know it was him—he had this way of making his presence known without saying a word. He leaned against the locker beside mine, waiting for me to notice him.

"You ready?" he asked, his voice casual like always.

"For what?" I said, raising an eyebrow as I turned to face him.

"For the show." He nodded toward the end of the hallway where Lexi and her friends were headed straight toward us. My stomach tightened at the sight of them, even though I'd gotten used to this routine. Lexi hadn't said anything directly to me or Carl, but her glares spoke volumes.

I closed my locker, gripping my pen a little too tightly. "Right. The show."

Carl smirked, pushing off the locker and walking closer. "Just play it cool. Like always."

I nodded, trying to act nonchalant, but there was something about the way Carl was looking at me today. His eyes were darker, more focused, like he wasn't just thinking about Lexi or the game we were playing. There was something else there, something that made my heart race a little too fast.

As Lexi and her friends got closer, I could feel the tension in the air building. Carl must've felt it too because, without warning, he slipped his arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. My breath hitched, but I didn't say anything. I couldn't. Lexi was practically staring daggers at us, her friends whispering and snickering behind her.

And then, it happened.

Carl turned his head toward me, his eyes locking onto mine for a brief second before he leaned in and kissed me.

I froze.

For a split second, the world around us seemed to disappear. The chatter of the hallway, the sound of lockers slamming, Lexi's glares—it all faded into the background. All I could focus on was the feeling of Carl's lips on mine, the way his hand gripped my waist like this wasn't just for show.

Like it wasn't just an act.

My heart pounded in my chest, and for that brief moment, I almost forgot. I almost forgot that this was all pretend, that this was just to get back at Lexi, to make her jealous. I almost forgot that Carl and I weren't actually together, that this wasn't real.

When he pulled away, the spell broke. The sounds of the hallway rushed back in, and I realized Lexi and her friends had already walked past, their conversation now a mix of disbelief and annoyance. Lexi looked furious.

Carl stepped back, his hand dropping from my waist, and for a moment, we just stared at each other. My head was spinning. What the hell just happened?

"You okay?" Carl asked, his voice quieter than usual.

I blinked, trying to pull myself together. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine."

He nodded, but there was something in his eyes I couldn't read. "Good."

I watched as he shoved his hands into his pockets, turning away like nothing had happened, like that kiss was just another part of the plan. But for me, it didn't feel that way. It didn't feel like just another move in this game we were playing.

For the rest of the day, I couldn't stop thinking about it. About him. I kept replaying the moment in my head, wondering why it felt so different this time. Why it felt so... real.

As we sat together at lunch, Carl was his usual self—cracking jokes, making sarcastic comments, but there was something off. I couldn't put my finger on it, but it was like we were both avoiding what had just happened. Avoiding the fact that, for a moment, we weren't just pretending.

"You've been quiet today," Tori said, snapping me out of my thoughts as she nudged me from across the table.

I forced a smile. "Just thinking."

"About Carl?" she teased, raising her eyebrows.

I rolled my eyes, but inside, I knew she wasn't completely wrong. "Maybe."

Tori glanced over at Carl, who was talking with one of his friends at the other end of the table. "You guys are really convincing, you know. Everyone's talking about it."

I swallowed hard. "Yeah... convincing."

Tori didn't seem to notice the weirdness in my tone. She kept talking, going on about some drama happening with one of the other girls in our grade, but I wasn't really listening. My mind was elsewhere, still stuck on that kiss, still trying to figure out why it had felt so different.

The rest of the school day passed in a blur. Carl and I walked together between classes like usual, holding hands, leaning into the act. But every time we touched, every time his fingers brushed against mine or he flashed me that smirk, I felt my heart skip a beat.

I hated it.

I hated that I was starting to forget this was all just pretend.

---

By the time the last bell rang, I was a mess of nerves. I walked out of class, heading toward my locker to grab my things, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something had changed between us. I was lost in thought when Carl appeared beside me, leaning against the lockers like he always did.

"You alright?" he asked, his voice casual.

"Yeah," I lied, stuffing my books into my bag. "Just tired."

Carl looked at me for a moment, like he didn't quite believe me, but he didn't push. "You want a ride home?"

I hesitated. Normally, I would've said yes, but today, I wasn't sure I could handle being around him. Not after everything that had happened.

"Maybe tomorrow," I said, forcing a small smile. "I think I need to clear my head."

Carl's expression didn't change, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes—disappointment, maybe? I couldn't tell. "Alright," he said, shrugging it off like it didn't matter. "See you tomorrow, then."

He pushed off the locker and walked away, leaving me standing there, still trying to piece everything together.

As I watched him go, I couldn't help but wonder if I was starting to forget what was real and what wasn't.