Destiny or Coincidence (AlanxJeff) VI

Distance

Alan

I dropped into the chair, tossing the pencil aside in frustration. The numbers weren't adding up. Lately, nothing seemed to work. I couldn't concentrate; my mind always circled back to the same place: Jeff. It had been two full weeks since he started avoiding me, ever since that day when we were just a breath away from kissing. If the phone hadn't rung... The thought of what might have happened haunted me. I longed for it so much. I had wanted that kiss with an overwhelming force, and I knew he had felt it too.

I let my head fall back, sighing deeply. I felt defeated. "Jeff, you're mischievous and cruel," I thought aloud, speaking to a void that wasn't listening. "How can you walk around in front of me in those clothes, teasing me without saying anything? How can you play with my heart like this? It's your scent... the sound of your laughter... your warmth..." That day, I saw it clearly in his eyes, it wasn't just my imagination. He wanted to kiss me too. But what if he didn't? What if it was just because of his heat?

I shook my head in frustration. I wasn't sure how I was going to survive the jealousy that was creeping in. The thoughts that had crossed my mind in the past days were anything but healthy. I forced myself not to look toward his window. I knew that if I saw him, even just once, it would be enough for me to cross that invisible line between us and go to him. And the worst part is, if I did, Jeff wouldn't refuse. Not in the state he's in when he's under the influence of his heat. But I don't want it to happen that way. I want him to choose, consciously, when his feelings are clear.

The problem is, he seems to be drifting further away each day. We barely even share breakfast anymore. And though we used to have lunch together, now he always has some excuse. At night, he locks himself away to study, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I'm not stupid; I know he's using his studies as an excuse to avoid me.

What should I do? Time is ticking away, and with each passing day, I not only miss him more, but I feel like I'm losing an invisible battle, a race against destiny.

Just then, Way barged into the office, unannounced, with that ever-sarcastic smile that said he knew more than I was letting on.

"What's with that face?" he asked, his eyes studying my expression. "I thought married life would be like a fairy tale for you. But it looks like you've gone back to square one."

I shot him a tired glance, not wanting to talk about Jeff. Way always had something to say, something that stirred me up more than it helped.

"It's nothing," I replied, trying to refocus on work, even though I knew it would be pointless.

"Yeah, sure, 'nothing'," he repeated with a crooked smile, stepping closer to the desk. He studied me for a few seconds, evaluating my every move. "At first, after the wedding, you seemed so happy. You were like the perfect couple, practically inseparable. And now... everything seems different. Is this how you plan to take him to the sponsor's event? Didn't you say you wanted to give it a shot with Beyond?"

"The sponsor event... I'd completely forgotten!" I exclaimed, shocked by my oversight. "But Jeff... he has so many exams," I added, disheartened once again.

"I don't think that's all there is to it. In fact, I'm almost sure it's not because of the exams," Way commented with a hint of irony in his voice.

"Way!" I exclaimed, starting to grow tired of his remarks.

Way sighed and crossed his arms. "Alan, it's obvious he's avoiding you. I don't get it. You always say you believe in all that destiny stuff, soulmates between alphas and omegas. But for that to be real, don't both people have to feel it? What I'm seeing looks pretty one-sided. If he's really your soulmate, shouldn't he feel it too? But he keeps denying it."