The Falling Petals...🌺

Purpose-of-my-visit.....

The next morning, I got up from my bed at around 6:30 though I had been awake since 5:00, struggling to get rid of all bad thoughts.

I sat up on my bed, then, with my palms joined and eyes closed, I bowed. my head touching the duvet. In my heart, I uttered, "Heal her wounds and make her well... Please! I know you can do that."

I sat there for a while. A little later, I opened my eyes, looked up and stood up from the bed. On my way to the bathroom, I halted to see myself in the mirror beside my computer table. I looked scared and pale. A tear was still on my right eyelash. I wiped it off and, taking a deep breath and putting on a false smile, I said to the mirror, "Your sweetheart will be alright. She is such a sweet girl. God cannot be so cruel that He'll harm her any more." Saying that to myself, I rushed to the bathroom as I was getting late for my flight.

By 7:30 I was through with my bath. There was an hour left for me to get ready. Whatever I was doing, there were two names always on my lips: "Dae" and "God".

There was pin-drop silence in my room. In my prayer, I again begged God to save my Dae and get her out of danger. With this, I bowed my head for a while. Saying my prayer every morning had been my daily routine since college and, probably, today, I was subconsciously demanding the results of my prayers.

I did not feel like having breakfast. How could I, when my beloved was unconscious in the ICU? I skipped it and left for the airport.

Outside, the bright sun was wishing good morning to Gwangju. And I was desperate to get some good news about Dae. Every now and then, I was checking my cell for any missed call or SMS. Early on Sunday, the roads were not crowded. I hailed an auto-rickshaw and without bargaining, for the first time in my life, I got in with my air- bag.

"Where?" asked the auto-rickshaw driver.

"Airport."

By 9:30, I was at the airport. I got my bag checked in. There were still some 20 minutes left before my flight. I could not resist calling up someone in Busan to get an update on Dae's condition. I dialed her number. Someone picked up the phone.

"Hello," said a feminine voice.

"Hi! Mi-hee Unnie." By now I could recognize the voices of everyone in Dae's family.

"Hi, Hoseok. How are you?"

"I am Ok Unnie, how are you? And any update from the hospital?" 

"The doctors have not attended to her this morning. They'll probably give an update by eleven."

I was getting restless, not knowing Dae's condition.

Mi-hee unnie then asked, "When will you be reaching here?"

"Right now I'm at the airport and my flight is going to depart in a few minutes. So, probably by one in the afternoon... I think the security check has started. I'll have to hang up. Will see you guys when I reach there."

"Yes, yes. You go on. Reach here safely and then we will talk. Bye."

 "Bye," I said and went to the security check.

A little later, I was in the aircraft, on my seat, trying to cheer myself up with the fact that I got a window-seat. But, in no time, I was worried again. I was lost in a series of thoughts, when a beautiful hand offered me some candies.

"May I offer you some candies, sir?" the air hostess asked. 

"No thanks."

Even her lovely face could not get me to say yes. Maybe because no one appeared as beautiful to me, anymore, as my own Dae. And at that very moment, a thought flashed through my brain: "Once you fall in love, things like external beauty, apparel and so on become unimportant."

The thought surprised me. I wondered if this was what we call the magic of being in love.

Whatever it was, but at that time I was sure about one thing-that I did not like myself in this mood at all. I mean, just the day before, I was so happy to see my blazer, her engagement ring and her dress. Look at me now. "Hey Hoseok! You have to get out of this mood. This is absolutely not you," I said to myself.

By now, the aircraft, the passengers and those air hostesses were all in the air. I looked outside the window, observing the white clouds and those birds we passed by, a few seconds back. I wondered how long it would have taken me to go to Busan for weekend dates with Dae, if I were a bird. I had almost lost myself in those happy thoughts, when the fat lady sitting beside me asked me to shutter the window because of the scorching sun. I don't know how the sunrays could have made her skin any darker. But anyway, I was not in the mood for an argument and I did what she wanted.

It was time for lunch now. I realized this when I saw the food trolley in the aisle. But I wasn't feeling hungry. I was very sad, wondering how such a day had come. And, at the same moment, I knew that if I dwelt on these thoughts, the journey would be very hard for me. I made up my mind to have at least a sandwich and drive my mind away from those bad thoughts. "Think of something interesting or funny. Oh! How about planning a sequence of dance steps for the engagement night?" I said to myself. Then had to add, "Which will now be postponed by a few months..."

By now, the food-trolley was beside me.

"Excuse me, sir! What would you like to have for lunch?" the air hostess asked.

"You are excused, baby," I thought, forcing myself to change my mood. Aloud, I said, "Hmm... A sandwich with a Coke will do."

"You don't want to have lunch?" She was surprised. 

"This is my lunch for today."

"Ok. Veg or non-veg, sir?" She smiled.

Wow! This time that smile appeared good to me.

"You won't be serving me both?" I asked her as soon as she completed her question.

She looked at the food on her trolley, a little flustered, probably counting to see if she could spare two.

"Hey, I was kidding. Give me a veg sandwich," I said, interrupting her.

She again smiled and served me the sandwich and Coke. I forced myself to come out of that gloomy mood.

"Wow! That smile is pretty indeed," I told myself. The next moment I had this weird urge to check out her name tag. I don't know why. But before I could do that, she had stand up a bit and turned back gone to the row behind me. I tried to look, but then I noticed that the fat lady beside me was staring at me, as if she had caught a guy in her neighborhood making passes at her daughter.

("You Men are dogs," Dae always used to say to me. "And you are going to marry one of them, no?" was my reply every time.) I sat back on my seat with a little disappointment and had my sandwich and coke.

I only realized I had fallen asleep when the announcement woke me up: "Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to land at Busan airport in a short while."

I became very anxious again, recalling the purpose for which I was traveling. A little later, I would be seeing Dae in the ICU. I raised the window's shutter to have a look at the view outside. It was drizzling.

All of a sudden, I felt a bit cold. Not due to the weather, but because of my nervousness and anxiety about her condition.