The Ex-Husband of Alice Langley

21

PARIS SWIFT-KELCE
I'm standing outside the apartment door, adjusting Liam's tie and brushing down his sleeves with my hands. I look at his appearance, scanning for any potential red flags that might give my parents the wrong impression. His crisp shirt and neatly polished shoes look great, but I can't shake the feeling that he's being scrutinized under a magnifying glass.

"Okay, my dad is instantly going to want to kill you," I warn him, my tone half-serious, half-joking. "Don't try to butter him up or get on his good side. He already hates you."

"What's up with your dad?" Liam asks, curiosity mixed with a hint of nervousness.

"He's a little overprotective when it comes to me and men," I explain, crossing my arms as I lean against the doorframe. "I swear to god, if it has a penis, it's not allowed five feet within me."

Liam raises an eyebrow, trying to process my words. "Not women?"

I chuckle, a smirk creeping onto my face. "Biological women can't get me pregnant." I shake my head lightly, the humor helping to lighten the mood. "My mom got pregnant when she was a teenager and was a single mom for a while in her thirties. It's just a thing he worries about...He thinks every guy is a potential disaster. Like, he has this radar for trouble or something," I say, rolling my eyes. "And, well, I might have given him a reason or two to worry in the past."

"Great," Liam says, a wry smile creeping onto his face. "So I'm basically walking into a lion's den."

"Pretty much," I reply, trying to keep the mood light despite the anxiety swirling in my stomach. "Just be yourself, I guess. If you act natural, maybe he'll chill out."

"Natural it is," he replies, taking a deep breath, his expression shifting to one of determination. "Let's do this."

I try to enter the apartment, but the door once again can't identify me. "Access denied."

"What do you mean, access denied?!" I yell at the door, my frustration bubbling over.

"Is this the door you were talking about?" Liam asks, his brow furrowed as he takes a step back.

"Yes! It's out to get me!" I exclaim, throwing my hands up in exasperation. I take a deep breath, willing myself to remain calm as I try again. "Access granted," I mutter under my breath, hoping my thoughts can somehow influence the door.

I step forward once more and try to enter again, but I get the same result. "Access denied."

"You stupid door!" I yell, slamming my hand against the panel in frustration. "I swear I'm going to throw you out of here if you don't let me in!"

"Maybe it just doesn't like you," Liam jokes, trying to lighten the mood, but I shoot him a glare that quickly wipes the grin off his face.

"I'm serious! I've been in this apartment hundreds of times. Why won't it let me in?" I look back at the door, glaring at it like it's a sentient being plotting against me.

"Have you tried resetting it?" Liam suggests, his voice taking on a more rational tone.

"Resetting it? How do you reset a door?" I ask incredulously, my mind racing.

"Maybe there's a button or a secret code?" he replies, glancing around as if he might find some hidden mechanism to unlock the door.

"Or maybe it just needs to recognize me. It's supposed to be smart! I don't have time for this!" I insist, pacing back and forth in front of the door. "Fuck, what's the bypass code?!"

"Paris, did you forget the bypass code again?" My mom's voice comes through the phone, laced with exasperation.

"GET A NEW FUCKING DOOR!" I shout, the frustration spilling out of me like a waterfall. The door beeps in response, as if it's mocking my outburst.