Coffee People - Pedro Pascal by Emma Star

Chapter eight, Melancholy

I woke up tired every day this week, I mostly zoned out during my classes. It's the kind of fatigue that sleep doesn't cure. I can recognize when I'm starting to get burned out and I recognize it now. I skipped a few classes so I could rest and reset. I realized at an early age that I burn out fast and I've learned to cope with it over the years. I'm not a professional but I've talked with plenty of people who are. Now, at twenty years old, I've created a routine for myself. Cut back on school and work, prioritize sleep, mandatory walks and phone calls with both my mom and my therapist.

I don't go to work on Wednesday. I take it slow at work on Thursday, creating my own world in my head while sorting through the new arrivals. At the end of my shift the bell above the entrance rings as Betty walks in. She's carrying a fairly large box, with lots of ribbons wrapped around it.

'Hello dear, how are you?' She says, setting the package down on the front desk.

'Hi Betty' I say, 'I've been better.'

'I figured you'd say that.' She says, smiling sadly. 'Tom noticed you looked gloomy this week.'

'Yeah, I'm not doing great.' I sigh.

'I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to call off work yesterday. It's important to me you feel safe to do whatever you feel is best for you.'

'Thank you.' I respond, gratitude filling my chest.

'I got you a few things for you, in case you needed a little pick me up.' She smiles as she gestures towards the box.

I put down the book I was holding and walk over to the front desk. Betty pulls me in to a warm hug, 'You can tell me anything darling, I'm here.'

I feel myself starting to tear up as she holds me. I miss being held. When she lets me go she gives my cheek a squeeze as a tear rolls down it.

'Come on, open it dear.' She encourages me.

Inside the box I find an array of shower products, some sort of fancy herbal tea, chocolate chip cookies, a romance book and a sweater. Betty knows me so well, this is exactly what I need. My heart swells with emotion.

'Thank you so much Betty, you shouldn't have.' I say honestly.

She wraps me in another tight hug and hands me the care box. 'Go, change in to something comfortable and relax.'

I look at the clock, I still have half an hour left of my shift but I don't object. I'm tired and ready to curl up with a book for the rest of the day. But before I do I run to the coffee shop on the other side of the street to get myself a little treat.

In Professor Peña's class on Friday we start editing our short story. Everyone is working quietly, the only noise is coming from the front of the classroom where Peña is discussing different ways to improve Astrid's story with her. The writers high has worn off and I want to rewrite the entire thing. I need to take a more subtle approach to the story. It's too 'In your face' in my opinion. I open a new document and start rewriting the beginning of the story to see if I can improve it. It doesn't work. I can't do it. Writing is the only thing I'm good at and I can't fucking do it. I start to spiral in a way I know is catastrophic. Tears start burning my eyes. I need to get out of here. I gather my things as fast as I can and don't bother putting on my jacket, instead I fold it over my arm. Miles is asking me something but I can't hear it over the ringing in my ears. I'm fairly sure he's asking me where I'm going since we still have twenty minutes left of this lecture. I don't respond, I just flee.

'Miss Emmington?' Peña says as I reach the door.

I keep walking, out of the lecture hall and down the hall.