All Your Fractures

Seventeen.

You bring out the best in me.

SUNDAY, 10:17PM

The clouds weeped gently, soft showers whooshing in the wind and meeting the ground in noiseless splatters.

Jesse couldn't get his eyes to stay closed for longer than 5 minutes. His sister's voice plagued his mind and cut his rest short. Counting sheep wasn't helping so at 10,821 he stopped. Then he appreciated the ceiling as well as Israel's snores for a while. Jesse figured it was his guilt keeping him from sleeping. Guilty people didn't deserve rest. If only he had stayed in his place instead of running away, maybe he would've gotten some shut-eye.

It wasn't too late to correct that. He could still go. He could make things right.

He sat up and glanced at his roommate's bed to check if he was awake. Israel had fallen asleep talking to Jesse, so his head lay on the lower end and his legs had kicked the pillow off the bed. He snored toward the ceiling, the comforter was splayed carelessly over his chest and one leg hung over the edge of the bed. Jesse breathed out a low chuckle. It was really difficult to imagine sharing a bed with him. Seemed he even fought thugs in his dreams.

He got off his mattress and silently moved to the sleeping boy, kneeling beside the bed. Jesse held Israel's shoulder, as gently as he possibly could, and moved him to lie on his side. Simultaneously, the snoring stopped and Israel's breaths were more quiet.

Jesse used to do that for his mom too. That was before Jessika came back. Lost in thought, he found his hand slipping down Israel's arm, slowing at his wrist and then stopping in his palm. Jesse felt like a creep as he lightly brushed the callused palm with his fingers, causing tingles to go up his spine and electrify his hand.

Jesse could hear his hammering heart in his ears, his bottom lip was clenched in his teeth, he realized he had stopped breathing and corrected that. His hand never left Israel's. Rather, he intertwined their fingers, locked the other's firmly between his as he exhaled shakily. It felt so... right.

And then he was losing himself more. His other hand went up to touch Israel's jett black hair. The texture silken against his hand. That felt even more right.

Jesse stopped himself before he could get too deeply immersed. He made sure to make no noise as he crossed the room to the door, pushed it open and stepped past the threshold, then quietly shut it behind him. Jesse stood leaning on the door for five seconds, and when his hands left the smooth surface, his resolve was rock solid.

He ignored the tightening in his chest the further away he stepped from Israel. He believed he was doing the right thing. This decision was the best for everyone. Wasn't it?

Before his hand could turn the knob, before he could exit paradise and venture through rain to his homely hell, another hand held him back.

Jesse gasped and whipped around. His wrist was tightly enclosed in Israel's hand and the boy's expression was etched with nothing but hurt, nothing but.

He shut his eyes, dragged in air and released it in shudders. When he looked at Jesse again, the emotion was masked. "Please tell me you're not leaving."

"I have to." He tried to pull his arm away, but Israel added his second hand too, not letting him move.

"No you don’t," He tightened his hold. "Is this because of what happened? Jessika could've been lying!"

"But what if she wasn't?"

Israel's eyebrows furrowed. "Then can you promise me you'll come back?"

Jesse fell silent, didn't meet his eye. He cringed when Israel's grip became too much on his skinny wrist. "Y-you're hurting me,"