The Edge of Light ✔️

Chapter Ten

E L E N A

"Wait, hold on a second. What?! You got married and didn't think about, I don't know, for example, telling me or inviting me to the wedding? I thought we were friends." Cecile pouted as I revealed the big news. Well, not really. She saw the ring on my finger–which wasn't very hard to miss–and that's when I had to tell her. Of course I felt bad but I didn't want to pull her into this world and inviting her to the wedding would just be that because Cecile was beautiful and I'm sure somebody would've laid their eyes on her. Yet, I was selfish enough to still be friends with her, because Cecile made me feel like a normal girl our age with a normal background.

"I'm sorry, Cecile. I really am. It was a pretty rushed thing. I'm sorry you had to find out this way." I tried to sound as genuine as possible. She cocked a brow, tilting her head.

"Wait, now that you mention it. You never told me about a boyfriend before either. I'm so confused right now." she huffed, reaching for her tea to take a sip and calm her nerves. I felt my shoulders slouch in guilt.

"Listen Cecile, there are some things I can't just openly talk about. I wish I could. It's not that I don't trust you but it's for the best." I reached for her hand and her eyes softened a little. Almost as if she could read the frustration in me. As if she knew that I wanted to tell her but couldn't. Slowly she nodded her hand, gently squeezing my hand.

"That's okay, you can tell me when you're ready, or never. I don't want you to feel awful. Whatever. Tell me about him. How is he? What's his name? Is he super hot?" Cecile's demeanor changed and suddenly she was all giddy and laughing again. I couldn't help but start laughing at her questions. She was a hopeless romantic, something very dangerous in a world like mine. Cecile easily adapted to every situation because she romanticized everything around her. Maybe it was a coping mechanism or maybe she was just positive and loving like that. Unfortunately, I never let myself get to know her on an emotionally deeper level because I was scared I'd get attached to her. Which again would lead to her being cruelly pulled into this world. And this world was not to be romanticized.

I thought about her question, feeling the back of my neck heat up in embarrassment. I had never let myself think of Nikolai in ways other than cruel and merciless. Though now that she was asking I let my thoughts wander into dangerous territory.

Without thinking much about it I started to speak, "His name is Nikolai. He's tall with a muscular build. Not the type of body you just wake up with but kind of like a professional martial artist's body. He isn't very talkative or expressive but his eyes are. He usually wears dark colors. He is...good looking." I was a little shocked that I had picked up on so much about him without realizing it. I left out any details, for example his scars or the fact that he was a mob boss.

Cecile let out a squeal making me blink at her weirdly. "He totally sounds like a dream husband!" she swooned probably imagining this godly version of a man. But Nikolai was. He truly was handsome. And before I knew it I caught myself thinking or maybe I was wishing that he and I had met on different occasions. Maybe in another world we were two normal strangers, from a completely normal world, meeting in a café like the one Cecile and I liked to go to every Saturday morning.

A line of sweat built on my spine as I caught myself thinking these things. I stopped myself before I could escalate. This was wrong on so many levels. All of this was. Nikolai was who he was. We lived in this dark world. So there was no room for 'what if's'.

"You should totally introduce us some time." Cecile knew just as much as I did that I'd never make that happen but she liked to cling to hope and I hated to sadden her so I gave a smile and a small nod. As long as she stayed happy I was content as well.