The Edge of Light ✔️

Chapter Twenty Four

E L E N A 

Nikolai's hands were firm as he helped me walk into the penthouse. My back pulsated with pain, the stitches itching like hell. The only thing I was glad about was that I was finally out of that unsettling hospital and back in my cursed but familiar four walls.

A shaky breath escaped my lips upon feeling a sharp pain shoot through my entire back. I was sure my back was cursed by now. Whatever happened to me always happened on my back.

Nikolai turned to look at me. I still didn't have it in me to look at him. Because every time I looked at him I blamed him. Then I felt bad for blaming him because he didn't plan for this and then I proceeded to blame myself. Nikolai's voice cut through the silence of the penthouse, "Are you hungry or—"

"I just want to sleep." I admitted in an exhausted tone. Without further comment he started to assist me to what used to be our bedroom for a short time but I stopped, "In my room, please."

He froze for a moment, obviously bothered by my decision. I knew he didn't want me to see the disappointment, the regret and the shame but I did. He wasn't as good as he used to be in masking his emotions. It was written all over his face, his stance. "Elena," he started. I closed my eyes, feeling terrible all of a sudden.

"I'm sorry, I really am. And I don't wish for anything more than to rewind and prevent the things that happened that night. Please, don't do this." his tone was almost hurt but this man didn't know what hurt meant.

"Please, Nikolai. I just want to sleep." I barely managed to speak. His eyes stayed on me for a few moments longer than I wanted but without another word he took me to the guest room.

A hiss escaped my lips as he helped me onto the bed. I was still not allowed to sleep on my back or on my sides. Always on my tummy, otherwise it would slow the healing process or worse my stitches would rip. Nikolai sat down on the edge of the bed, reaching for the bag with the medication the doctor had given me.

"I'll apply the numbing ointment now," he informed. I closed my eyes, feeling as he lifted my shirt. I knew he was looking at the scar because he stopped moving and he exhaled shakily. Eventually he applied the cold cream to my back. I groaned out in pain, my hands fisting the duvet.

"It'll be over soon." he reassured in a calming tone. I buried my face into the pillow, trying my hardest not to scream in pain.

Once Nikolai was done applying the ointment he handed me my painkillers and antibiotics and I took them. My eyes landed on his but I was too tired to even try to withstand the bothered look in them.

"It's not your fault. I'm...fine." I croaked out, looking everywhere but at him. He didn't respond because he didn't believe me. Hell, I don't know if I believed myself.

I watched as he hesitated to leave, his hand lingering a little too long on the handle. I waited for him to look over his shoulder but he didn't. He just left the room and that's when my tears started to flow. The disappointment. The sadness. The regret. All of it. I had wished for it to be true, to be real, but it would never be.

The whole incident wasn't all too bad. It had opened my eyes. I don't know what it was. Was I actually starting to like Nikolai? Was I so desperate for a happy life I just accepted what he threw my way. Or did I feel bad for what my father had done? Or maybe it was simply the fact that I wished for his promises to come true.

Nikolai was strong and powerful but he wasn't powerful enough to fight this kind of life. He was darkness, he was cruel but our world was even darker, even crueler. I knew he had tried genuinely but it wasn't enough.