The Edge of Light ✔️

Chapter Thirty Eight

E L E N A 

I watched Nikolai in silence, my hands busy folding laundry. He buckled his belt and clasped his watch onto his wrist. It had been quite some time since I saw him so put together. Ever since he had come here he was wearing casual clothes, light and airy, and I was obsessed. He looked good in them. But nothing would ever make me not like his business attire.

A troubled feeling spread on my chest. "Nikolai, can we talk?" I asked, folding the last shirt, his shirt. He stopped styling his hair and turned to me. He gave me an encouraging smile but I didn't miss the hesitation in his eyes.

"Of course, kukolka. What's bothering you?" he asked as he grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the bed. We sat down next to each other and I sighed deeply, trying to sort my thoughts.

"What...I mean how...what now? How will we continue?" I asked in a wobbly voice. After all, Nikolai was still Nikolai Volkov. His profession was still his profession. And I had no plans of leaving my beautiful home to go back to that way of living.

Nikolai's eyes softened. "I should ask you that, baby. What do you want from here on? I'm sure you don't want to leave this place." he tilted his head. I nodded slowly.

Only when he placed a hand on mine did I notice that I was fiddling with my fingers. I laced my fingers with his.

"I don't want to go back to how things were. I mean I've built myself a life here I so desperately wanted...but Nikolai it's..." I stopped, not trusting my voice. His thumb brushed over my hand softly. "I realized it's not complete without you. Because Nikolai I meant it when I said that I love you. I want to be with you every second of my life and I want to be happy and at peace but I don't want to trouble you either and—" Nikolai stopped my rambling with a gentle kiss.

"Breath, Elena. I understand. I love you, too, so much. I want whatever you want. You just have to be a little patient and give me time to figure things out back in the states. I'm already working on it. After your father passed away I drew back from the cartel cooperation. I'm now trying to solely work with the government. But it's not that easy. I have a long history in this field and I'm sure you know that leaving just like that, with all the things I know, is not possible." he explained. My shoulders sagged. I understood him but it still made me sad.

"Listen, don't be afraid, okay? I promise I'll figure this out and fix things before I come to you and stay forever. I want you to be happy, Elena." his voice was now barely above a whisper, his fingers on my chin as he pressed his forehead on mine.

I inhaled his scent, trying to memorize it. I cupped his face, not ready to open my eyes just yet.

Our moment didn't last as long as I wished and soon we stood at the front door. My hands clung to his, reluctant to let go.

"Wait for me," he said as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to my mouth. His lips moved to my cheeks, my nose, forehead and eyes. Wiping the tears that had spilled.

"Just...come back to me." I cracked a smile and he returned it, nodding.

"I promise," Nikolai said and kissed me one last time before walking away. I watched his back until he was out of sight—hoping he'd turn back around, but he never did.