The Edge of Light ✔️

Chapter Twenty One

E L E N A

I woke up tangled up in Nikolais arms. I tried to wriggle myself out of his hold but it was firm. Eventually I gave up and stayed still in his arms. For a while I listened to the even pattern of his breathing. His breath was cold against my skin, my neck prickling at the feel of it.

My thoughts started to wander again and suddenly it felt highly inappropriate for me to lay in his arms. I was scared. I don't know what it was but it scared me. Everything. The unknown. I felt my breath come out rugged and that's when I knew I had to get up or I'd probably overthink everything.

Finally an opportunity to escape his hold appeared and I didn't spare a second. At the door I stopped, looking at Nikolai's sleeping form. He looked so peaceful then. His facial features relaxed, his breathing soft and harmless. There was no sight of the cunning, merciless, cold-blooded man the world usually encountered. Weirdly, I felt bad. It made me feel bad to know that he had been forced to become this version of himself. That the past occasions had molded him into his current self.

The door clicked shut behind me and I wandered towards the living area, the tall windows bearing a beautiful view over the still city. Warmth spread on my skin as I eyed the view before me. Finally spring was here and the sun was on full beam. It would've been great to live in a more rural area, I'm sure. In the city we barely notice the change of season, we only feel the change in climate.

I imagined myself in a life like that. A small house in a little village with a semi big garden, just big enough to grow my own vegetables and fruits. Maybe an apple tree. A bunch of flowers to keep it colorful. A homey feel all over the place. Everything accessible by foot or bike. I'd wake up, enjoy the mornings in my garden, watch the seasons pass, bake my cookies, go for a swim in a nearby lake. That's what a fulfilling life looked like to me.

The sound of shuffling made me look over my shoulder to find Nikolai approaching me with slow, drowsy steps. He was rubbing his eyes, his hair a mess. If he wouldn't have been naked on his upper body I would've called the view adorable but there was nothing adorable about his scars.

"You left." His voice was hoarse.

"Yeah, I wanted to prepare breakfast." I lied. A tired smile appeared on his lips causing my heart to race. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and placed his chin on my shoulder, looking at the view with me.

"Did you have a good sleep?" I asked, my hands resting in his strong arms. He let out a low hum, the sound vibrating in my whole body. "What about you?" he asked, his lips grazing the skin of my nape. I shuddered.

"Y-yeah." I stammered. His arms tightened around me a little more. I closed my eyes, trying to ignore my inner conflict. I turned in his embrace, facing him.

"I'll prepare breakfast." I told him before peeling his arms off of me and wandering towards the kitchen. He followed me quietly.

"Do you have work today?" he asked and I nodded my head in response. Reaching for the cooking pan in the cupboard. Nikolai handed me the eggs. My eyes locked with his for a brief moment and slowly dropped to his naked body. He had a great body. How unfortunate that my father had destroyed it without any agony.

"Does it make you uncomfortable?" he asked suddenly, crossing his arms over his chest. My brows scrunched. I must've made him feel uncomfortable by looking at his body for too long.

"No. No, of course not Nikolai. I just—" I started.

"You what?" he pressed, the familiar darkness back in his eyes. I let out a sigh, reaching for his arms to pull them away from his chest. He didn't resist my touch, instead he gently held onto my hands.