Every YA Dystopian Novel Ever

The Almighty Algorithm

The metal door of the Sanctorum rose up as I approached it and I darted through, afraid it might close while I was still under it. I had last come here when I was a newborn baby, where the Order did a full scan of my body and put chips into me. Potato chips, to be exact.

I had no memory of this place, and was at once stricken with its size. I had never seen a place so large, sparse, and neat as this one. Everything in the Toilet is always super crowded; the streets, the houses, and even the men's bathrooms.

Everything was made of metal and there was a shockingly white light all around. 

"Hey, Poopy," a blonde guy said smugly, flashing his white teeth. Cheese, they're as bright as this room.

Normally, I would just glare at his icy blue eyes and turn away, but these were special circumstances.

I sighed and said, "Kana. Do you have any idea where we're supposed to go?"

I've known Kana since we were kids. He's super annoying and we absolutely hate each other, so naturally, we spend like every single day together. 

"Some secretary will come here any moment now and take us to the High Priest of Sector 10," he answered casually, flipping his blonde hair back.

He looked me up and down, with his icy blue eyes. I raised my eyebrow.

"What's the matter, Princess? Did you think they'd see you in that and assign you to the Golden City?" he snickered.

"It's my birthday, you idiot," I said flatly. "We have the same one. Happy Birthday."

"Happy Sixteenth, Poopy," he actually wished me.

Just then, a woman came into the room, dressed head to toe in white Spandex, with metallic jewelry and cybernetic implants.

"Kana and Celestia. Follow me," she said in a robotic voice before abruptly walking off. Kana and I looked at each other and then darted after her.  We went through a maze of corridors and a lift, before finally stepping into the ceremonial room.

Rows of Orderlies in metal gear carrying weapons lined the room. A bunch of monks in metallic cloaks covering their whole bodies stood silently in the center of the room. Before the monks was an empty table with a large mug on the floor. There were rows of seats surrounding the monks, with an empty aisle leading to where we were standing.

The Spandex lady told us to sit down anywhere we'd like. We both took middle seats on either side of the aisle, as far away from the Orderlies and the monks as possible.

My breathing started to quicken and I could feel my heart beating. 

"Poopy," he whispered. This was the worst possible time he could have probably chosen to make one of his annoying jokes. I looked at him.

To my surprise, he just gestured for me to calm down.

"I'm right here with you," he said. I wasn't sure whether that was an assurance or a threat.

The monks suddenly parted, almost making me jump. A man in a full body jumpsuit that looked like it was made of foil stepped forward. He was bald, I think. He had a cone shaped tin foil hat on; the attire of a high priest.

"Kana Clucky," he called out in a foreboding voice. He then smiled warmly. "Since you were born first, how would you like to go first?"

Kana nodded in response. He seemed either super scared, or completely uninterested.

Kana got up and walked down to the table. The priest clapped his hands twice, shook his butt, then hopped around a circle twice with his left foot. This activated the table, and a giant holographic menu rose up from the table like a giant screen. The human interface of the Algorithm. At least this Sector's branch of it.