Shades Of Thirteen

A Try ~ XII

Naina's POV:

Today's part is for someone who's not my enemy nor my friend. We hardly met few times that too not for any good reason.

We met and she fought, whenever we spoke over call she abused, she screamed and again she fought. Basically, we didn't have any conversation without fights. Every time she used to come with some new allegations and accusations.

I don't know what she actually knows about me that triggered her too bad, but I know extremely basic about her, but the most important thing that I know about her is.

'She hates me more than anyone else.'

She is 4-5 months elder to me. She is at her early 40's, facing mood swings, emotional hurdles, and many more like me, we both near to our menopause. I have seen people who are exceptionally good in acting line they usually forget the difference between the 'Reel life and Real life,' so does she.

Yes, she is a struggling but very good actress. She has done multiple short films, ads and many more.

She looks decent and equally beautiful. She belongs from a good family, born and studied in Mumbai itself.

She is a Marathi girl, cook well and she has an incredibly special quality of spying.

Sometimes I find 'Sherlock Homes' inside her and if she can't find anything she wants exactly same then she starts manifesting the same and start believing that this is happening.

Anyway, manifestation is a particularly good and powerful quality in a human, until you manifest wrong and negative thoughts.

I know very minimum about her, but I think it's enough knowledge about someone who hates you.

So, in my life I had lots of people who loved me, who considered themselves as my well wishes or lovers, with the same concept I can consider her as my 'Real Hater.'

So, question arises why does she hates me so much? Reasons are many, but what I believe are the main reasons are.

Comparison: She compared herself with me, she compared my income Vs her, she compared my body structure Vs her, she compared my education Vs her, she compared my achievements (society call them achievements but I call them struggles), she compared my behaviour Vs her, she compared my lifestyle Vs her, and many other things she compared and where she feel she is losing the game, is one of the main reason of hating me.

Insecurity: She is insecure of everything that I do and she might believe she can't, she is insecure with the amount of love I give to others but might be she can't, she is insecure of losing her place and respect in people's life for me, she is insecure that her husband will love me more than her, but every single relationship has their own parameters, places and level of love. She's insecure that I am a single mother and raising my kid all alone she might can't, she is insecure with every little thing she finds her own with the fear of losing them. She is insecure about my friendship with her husband.

Lack of Respect: She very well knows any relationship, or any human gets respect only after giving it. Respect is something that should be inbuilt in us, it should be reflective in our behaviour.
Respect is something you can't act for, or you can't chase for. Respect is a two-way process.
When we speak to someone, without knowing the state of mind of that person, but out of some personal egos if we speak disrespectfully, it's our attitude that needs to be improvised and she does it every time with everyone and never tried to work on it.
She knows well that her behaviour towards others is disrespectful and specially with all of them who are connected with her husband as colleagues, friends, or family.

Sometimes I too felt she's possessive about her husband and loved him so much that's why she abuses others or fight with people.

But lately, after years when I started observing her disrespectful behaviours toward anyone whom she didn't like, I realized that respect is something that is not inbuilt and present in her and in her upbringing.
She has not been taught I guess, how to behave or respect someone to get the same in return.
And she knows she is losing the game again.